Mrs. Furious ... Recipes, Rants & Reality

Sweet Baby Jesus

2012-01-27T12:01:00.001-05:00

I FOUND IT!!!!!

If You...

2012-01-27T00:20:00.003-05:00

Had compiled a folder of important paper work (birth certificate, marriage license, social security card, etc) to take to the DMV (in fucking JUNE I might add)... where the hell would you put it when you came home?

No, not in the file folder in the cabinet that says "Identification", or the one by my desk that says "To Be Filed".

Not in the car's glove box.

For the love of God?! Where the hell did I put them?!!

And, yes, I totally thought Mr F was the one who was going to cause this hold up...

Out of The Mouths Of Babes

2012-01-23T21:16:00.001-05:00

"I hope Ben watches his shows to see how blind he really was." Kid remarks.

Word On The Street Is...

2012-01-18T12:30:00.010-05:00

This Pony Cafe has seriously good food.

It's A Real Mystery, Sherlock

2012-01-16T22:38:00.005-05:00

"Maybe I had too much pita?" Mr F suggests regarding his mysterious fullness.

"Pita?" Mrs F responds a little suspect.

"Well, I only had one bowl of soup." Mr F states.

"How much Coke did you have? And brownies?" Mrs F inquires.

"Hmm..." Mr F responds and walks shamefully out of the kitchen.

Updates

2012-01-15T11:46:00.006-05:00

Oh, boy... this week has been a real roller coaster!

We had our first meeting with a potential adoption agency.

We left feeling really overwhelmed and concerned about the potential for corruption on the country's end.

Things just did not sit well with us, and the director's repeated complaints about the Hague accreditation process did not help.

I really don't care if it makes more work for you... that's your job... and it's important... and you are getting paid for it.

She really bemoaned that long gone are the days of bringing home a 2 month old (or in her case a 2 DAY old...um... they aren't orphaned in the womb... so how did you secure that adoption?) (Talking international here, not domestic, just to be clear)

Wow, she was glib.

This is our biggest concern with an African adoption and this was CLEARLY not theirs.

That's a problem.

So, now we're kind of freaked out.

We have a meeting with another agency in 2 weeks, and we'll see.

I don't know what direction we'll take now.

Our point is to bring home a waiting child, not an infant. This has been a personal goal of mine since I worked in foster care in NYC 13+ years ago. Domestic adoption for US waiting children is available only for children 7 & up, which makes them an inappropriate placement for our household, at this time. Fostering younger children, while an option age wise, would be just too difficult on our girls emotionally. It is still an option for the future, when our children are older. This is how we've come to international adoption, and there is extensive need, but there are also concerns. We're walking that line right now.

Which brings us to special needs adoption, which I've also felt called to for MANY years. This is something that I feel particularly well suited to, and there is a huge need, and we can be 100% sure that these children are truly orphaned. But are we all up for it?

So, that's that. For today.

Next week? We tour charter school 1 followed the next week by charter school 2.

So, I've got major decisions all up in my bees wax these days.

Thankfully, I've got the help of Superhero Pioneer Baby by my side:

On other fronts I rearranged my living room, thanks to my 99 year old grandmother's generous donation of a couple of oil paintings. And I am in love. It's SO much better.

BEFORE (this is the day I was packing up our Christmas decorations... holy crap we have a LOT of decorations it took me from 3 PM- 2 AM to do it all... believe it... so just look around them for the basic furniture layout)

AFTER: rearranged the couch & reading chair w/ottoman, added 2 oil paintings & tin work (10th anniversary gift) on couch wall, added desk & lamp. The rattan chairs we got at World Market for just over $100 each a couple of months ago... and it really solved the problem we had of needed seating in front of that built in.

For now, I'm cool with this. We have 2 wall sconces that will eventually (eventually) get placed in here since there is no overhead lighting. One will go next to the built in bookcase in that space between the bookcase and the 2 venetian jester watercolors (just FYI in case that space bothers you like it does me).

Threats That Only Work On 4 Year Olds

2012-01-10T22:55:00.003-05:00

"If you get out of bed one more time, you won't allowed to wash the windows tomorrow!"

The Shame

2012-01-09T17:17:00.002-05:00

meal planning

2012-01-04T15:13:00.001-05:00

Here's the book I mentioned...
plus a little hint at what else might be going down around here.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T13:00:00.004-05:00

We rang the New Year in, as we have the past several years, by planting our wishes.

It's a custom from some far off locale, I can't remember which.

So, now, at 11:59 we all scurry outside with a trowel and scoop out 4 small holes.

We bend down and whisper our wishes for the New Year into them and then cover them back up.

To grow.

I know not everyone is a big resolutions person. I am. In part, because I just love to come up with new plans, new goals, new over the top regimes. I think it's fun. Some of my ideas are somewhat outlandish... but... still they push me to try to step out of my comfort zone. I really don't care on Dec 31st if I stuck them out or not... the thought of what might be is enough for me. If I only do it once, I still challenged myself. And, I do believe, it's about the drive to change... always believing that it's possible to be more. Whether I make a life long change isn't the point, it's showing myself, and my girls (and Mr F the most pessimistic of all) that life is more fun and exciting when you actively live it.

As I said to Kid last night... "Happy New Year! Another year, another chance to be more awesome!"

Last year our family goal for 2011 was to chose happiness. That meant a very failed attempt at spreading joy through $5 gift cards (hilarious flop), to a more sustainable decision to say no to events, invitations, people and sports programs that were actively sucking our souls out. On that front we were incredibly successful. And as a people pleaser, that is a huge accomplishment! I even refused to accept friendship requests of several people on Facebook... what?!... choosing my own comfort and boundaries, over someone else's? Unprecedented.

This year we are going to focus on our social life. As in improving it. This is a big challenge for us. While there are lots of people, here, we would love to hang out with, our schedules (and theirs), various levels of social anxiety, and just plain speed of life, always seem to collide on the side of staying home. The truth is, that at this stage of life, with all our friends juggling their work and kid schedules, it just is harder to get together with people. It takes more work than before we moved to NC, when everyone's kids were preschool aged & younger... without soccer, swimming, dance, and karate lessons every night of the week to contend with. So, it will, in fact, take more work.

That's a pretty big challenge for one year.

I'm, truthfully, somewhat conflicted, since most of me is always trying so hard to slow our schedules down and carve out a moment to relax. But in doing that, it can be easy for *extras* like cultivating and maintaining friendships to be the first thing to fall by the wayside. Because, what else can you cut? We have something M-Th every afternoon/eve for the kids, which all independently seem important, and then there is Mr F's ridiculous work schedule. I've thought a lot about it. While things were stressful in NC, I was also in some ways more fulfilled socially. People were in general less busy, there, and social time was more of a priority. There was not as much pressure for your kids to take extra curriculars, as there is here, and so there were more playdates.

So, I'll be thinking on this. We are kind of locked into our current schedule until June, so baby steps for now. But come summer I would like to really focus on reestablishing our social network, and finding a way to make that a priority when we start a new school year in the Fall.

Seems a long way off... but... experience proves otherwise.

It's That Time Of Year, Again

2011-12-29T15:29:00.004-05:00

"I'm getting excited about an extreme new way of eating." Mrs F announces while folding laundry.

"Oh My God." Kid replies.

The Greatest Day Of The Year

2011-12-26T12:29:00.006-05:00

The day after Christmas...

No traveling, no cooking, no errands, no work... Pure bliss.

Kid got a big Santa gift this year, The Calico Critters Cloverleaf Manor ... we figured this might be her last *real* year for Santa and decided to knock it out of the park. We went all out, and she is sure we would NEVER be able to afford this ;)

Kid told Baby she could be the governess and manage the nursery on the top floor. Baby misunderstood and happily accepted the role of "Govenor" and promptly emptied the entire doll house and set it up by her own specifications while Kid was eating breakfast! Thankfully, Kid is a very patient and loving big sister. Baby didn't even get a smack for that ;) Just kidding... like it or not, in our house the only toys that don't have to be shared are American Girl dolls.

Baby's big gifts were a couple of princess Barbies and some dress up dresses. She is currently tying up her barbie's feet and pretending a Calico Critter beaver is an evil doctor that is going to light her on fire. Hmm...

Now, I'm going to sit here, in my pjs all day, and think about our budget for the new year. Something I actually find fun. My mom & dad both gave us new flat screen TVs (we still have tube... believe it) and we can finally drop our TV service and just use Netflix and the digital antenna. I'm so excited! We're also dropping our house phone (only solicitors really use it)... I'm already down $125 a month! I'm also going to go down to $75/week on groceries for the next 3 months... raising our food budget has really increased both our food waste and poorer food choices... neither of which I'm happy with. While the $60 Asheville budget was difficult, we ate better and more responsibly. (And I was thinner... maybe a connection?) I'm upping it $15 because food is actually more expensive here, and I don't want to switch from Organic when we can afford it. $75 is doable, but means I will have to work with a meal plan, and carefully use what we buy. This is good on so many fronts (our health, budget, and the environment) and I feel much better about how I'm managing the house when I do it.

That's all folks.

We Wish You A...

2011-12-25T14:45:00.003-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

BEFORE:

AFTER:

This Is How You Know Mr F Is Home

2011-12-23T10:52:00.008-05:00

After my Angry Birds intervention...
That's more like it.

Bwahahahaha

2011-12-21T15:14:00.004-05:00

taken from here

(P.S. My favorite one)

I found that site last night, right after Mr F was fumbling around the kitchen at 3 AM (believe it... we're all kinds of crazy) trying to help me find my piping tips. It was hilariously fitting. (P.S. He was already up working... I didn't wake him up for this... just to be clear, I'm not that crazy)

I realize I didn't put my giveaway up in time for many of you to be able to enter in time. I'm sorry :( Next year I'll do better.
I just wasn't sure I'd be able to pull it off until I hit a sugar high, fueled by a massive consumption of clementines, coffee, & burned caramel corn.

Then I lost my mind and stayed up until 3:30 making these...

and these...

in the wee hours of the morning, all I could see was success...
And it was GLORIOUS. (I think I even heard some angels singing in the background)

Unfortunately, the sugar wore off some time in the night (er... later morning) and I stumbled out to the kitchen when I woke up

and all I could see was this...

and this...

and this...

And the first thing out of Baby's mouth, was "Can we make cookies today?"

And I kind of wanted to cry.

But I couldn't muster it because I had the shakes from severe sugar withdrawal.

So, I called Mr F and said "We're going out to dinner, tonight."

But, I did it!

(This year we made Iced Sugar Cookies, Gingersnaps, White Chocolate Covered Peppermint JoJos, Rolo Pretzel Turtle Bites, and of course some holiday tunes and a little cloved clementine for good measure.) Recipes HERE and HERE)

And if I hadn't had that unfortunate caramel corn incident, I probably would have been done at a more reasonable time.

At least this year I had some super eager helpers, one of whom would REALLY like you to know that she did the one on the bottom NOT the one on the top.(as if there was any question).

And The Winner Is...

2011-12-21T14:14:00.000-05:00

Surly Rob!

Get ready for awesome.

Christmas Box Giveaway!!!!!

2011-12-20T22:30:00.003-05:00

Leave a comment if you'd like it.

And why wouldn't you?

I want these babies in the mail ASAP.

I'll be doing my drawing TOMORROW at 2 PM EST.

If you want it, you have to be able to get back to me with your address BEFORE 3 PM EST!!!

Got it?

Please only comment if you'll be able to get me your address in time.

Or I'll have a heart attack.

You could, alternately, send me your address just in case you win to my email (see comments for that).

Maybe you'll end up on my Christmas card list.

It's Happening, People

2011-12-20T12:59:00.005-05:00

Oh, It's Happening...

Introducing Big Boy

2011-12-19T10:03:00.006-05:00

Or as Tiger likes to call him "The Enemy"

He's all "Are you f'ing kidding me?! Would you stop coddling this majestic beast, already!"

I really can't blame him, look at the size differential there. Tiger is a good sized adult male cat... Big Boy is enormous. And stoic. He won't engage in Tiger's constant war tactics. He won't even stoop to look him in the eyes. It's driving Tiger crazy. Big Boy just sits there with an indifferent look on his face, like "oh, you are one of those cats." He was the dominant cat in an animal hoarding situation, so he's obviously used to lots of cats coming in. He's extremely tolerant. So, it's up to Tiger to just give up the battle and enjoy the new cuddle opportunities. The sooner the better, please.

When I'm A Teenager...

2011-12-18T14:36:00.003-05:00

"I'm going to write a Nancy Drew called The Mystery of the Magic Sharpie!!!" Baby announces.

Then adds with a deep dramatic voice...

"It fell on my nightgown, but it did not stain. It is a mystery."

More Misheard Christmas Lyrics

2011-12-15T11:56:00.005-05:00

"Hey, Mom! In Silent Night is it 'Holy infant so tender and wild'?" Kid asks this morning.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

2011-12-13T10:56:00.002-05:00

Oh My God, it's 12 days to Christmas!

Which reminds me, the other day Baby asked,

"What are the gifts Jesus brings me?"

To which Kid replied,

"Jesus doesn't bring you gifts; you mean Santa?"

"No, Jesus, like in that song." Baby repeats.

"Hmm, I don't know what song you mean. I don't think Jesus brings you gifts." I say.

"In the song you were playing!" Baby asserts.

"I'm sorry, I don't know that song." I return, somewhat confused.

"Yes, you do! You were playing it on the piano." Baby explains.

"You know, 'On the 1st day of Christmas Jesus gave to me...'!!" She explains.

"No, that is 'My true love gave to me'; Jesus doesn't give you those." Kid tells her laughing.

We sang the whole song with Jesus instead of My True Love, it gave a whole new meaning to Christmas.

Oh, we had a good laugh over that misheard lyric.

Anyhoo, we finally got out all of our Christmas stuff and I feel SO much better...

I'm not sure if you can tell in these pictures, but our tree is 7 feet WIDE.

For real.

You know how much fun it is to water a tree that is wider than your arm is long?!

Not fun.

Baby Is Singing A Song

2011-12-08T15:45:00.003-05:00

With the refrain...

"this is the very worst life, this is the very worst life, woah oh"

Should I be concerned?

Things That Make You Go Hmm

2011-12-07T14:31:00.009-05:00

"The first time I had beer I was two years old." Baby chirps up from the backseat after Kid points out a "Wine & Beer" sign.

"And all it did was make me sleepy." She adds.

Maybe her love of Pabst Blue Ribbon was real.

The Good News Is

2011-12-06T17:37:00.004-05:00

Baby wasn't having a heart attack.

The bad news is I only found that out after the doctor had me rush her in.

You know how we like to have one medical crisis, right after another, right after another around here?

Keeps me on my toes.

P.S. You know what can cause a 35 year old woman to have a heart attack? Thinking her 4 year old is having one.

Hey kids could tomorrow just be a TV day? Pretty please?

On The Mend

2011-12-05T10:56:00.003-05:00

Whatever was going on with our gastrointestinal systems seems to have come to an end.

I wouldn't think traveling through Epcot would be rife with such horrors, but I think we had something like dysentery.

For real.

Neither Kid, nor I, feel 100% up to snuff, but I think that's to be expected when your innards have been ravaged.

We are, as of yesterday, back to eating normal foods.

In response to last weeks health disasters, I'm planning to take the week off of home school and just rest up and try to catch up on all the housework.

I would like to be decorating for Christmas, but I think we're going to have to push that back until next weekend.

Kid's ankle is resting. So far, so good. She hasn't had cause to get too frustrated by her infirmity as of yet, since Mr F has been home all weekend, carrying her where she needed to go, and letting her use his iPad for large scale Angry Birds.

This morning may prove to be a rude awakening, now that we have to get her around without his help.

And try to keep entertained while lying on her back with her foot raised without an iPad to help break up the monotony.

We did pick up a spare walker at my grandmother's house...

Which is as adorable as it is helpful.

We have another 5 days to go, before we'll know more conclusively if this is a sprain or a break and what her full recovery/treatment will have to be. Until then it's my goal to keep her off of it at all costs.

I'm just glad she's old enough that she can be left on the couch while I run Baby to preschool & dance down the street this week.

Okay, off to do the laundry, clean the fish tank, roast some chicken and tackle the playroom...

and pick up more Nancy Drews.

It's broken

2011-12-02T15:08:00.002-05:00

Broken ankle during winter?

On my predisposed to moodiness, uncoordinated child?

Awesome.

Did I mention we live in a raised ranch?

Which means there is NO way to come or go without navigating either the steep basement stairs, or the icy outdoor walks and steps?

Merry Fucking Christmas!

Down For The Count

2011-12-02T12:16:00.009-05:00

#1 Kid's hotel incident has continued on and off all week with the added bonus of some horrific leakage.

(guess who gets to clean it all up?)

Which brings me to....

#2 I might be dying. Whatever Kid has, I have, with the spectacular addition of blood (sorry... but it's true).

Yesterday, I said by day two of blood in my dog's stool I'd have taken him to the vet. It's day 5; I'm still sitting here.

Hopefully, I'll live through the weekend.

P.S. Kid seems to be better today, so I'm hoping I'll follow suit tomorrow (pretty please).

As soon as Kid felt better, she went sledding.

Which brings me to....

#3

Kid sprained her ankle (or broke it... not sure yet) while sledding with Mr F last night.

Of course, she's too heavy for me to lift, even if I weren't huddled on the bathroom floor. Last night I managed to drag her around, with her grasping around my waist from behind, me hobbled over so as to help support her weight with my rump, and her pogoing behind on her good leg. Think two man horse costume arrangement... but with hopping. It took us a good half hour to get from the playroom to her bed. I wish there had been pictures. Well, needless to say, I can't do that going down the stairs to our garage to our car, and she needs to see a doctor. So, Mr F had to come home. And amazingly HE DID. If you've been following along, you know that that NEVER happens. I've actually passed out from the stomach flu, with very little kids at home, and he still hasn't come home to help. I think the blood is working in my favor ;)

On to better things...

#4 We got a Playmobil advent calendar again this year. These things (especially if you have Playmobil) are the bomb. And, this year, they come in already assembled boxes (if you've gotten these before you know what a nightmare that assembly was!).

Not exactly how I had wanted to start off the holiday season, hopefully this weekend sees a tremendous turnaround. Or at least the unpacking of our remaining trip bags and such.

Update Winter Style

2011-11-30T14:22:00.000-05:00

P.S. I think I've figured out the volume glitch... of course... after I taped this. Next time!

Bust Out The Snow Pants, Peeps

2011-11-30T00:52:00.006-05:00

We are definitely going sledding tomorrow!

Well, We're Back

2011-11-28T09:04:00.005-05:00

Recap:
We had a good, albeit completely exhausting, time.

We managed to stay on budget food-wise ($440 for all 9 days... 5 at Disney, 4 on the road).

We did Disney like we've never done it before.

The kids were really into it, in a different way than they have been before.

No rest for the weary style... but a couple of awesome apple turn-overs from the Main St Bakery to keep Mr F & I going.

Character meals, unless you have Disney Dining... are just not worth it. The end.

Our hotel did NOT have bedbugs (in case you wonder about stuff like that).

5 hours into our first day of driving Baby strongly suggested we should drive straight to the nearest airport and fly to Disney.

The 2nd day of driving was easier with the excitement of Disney looming.

How many billboards for one strip joint can there possibly be?... apparently HUNDREDS.

The weather was mostly perfect. Only one hot day, and we really maxed out the comfortable evenings.

Driving home was a lot more tedious, both days took 3-4 hours longer than they should have.

10-12 hours in the car is hard, once you step over 13 hours?... it's kind of Hell.

We we're stopped up on the highway for more than 8 major multi-car accidents (and, no, it was not snowing)... it was crazy.

Oh, I didn't mention that Kid woke up yesterday (drive day two of our return) and threw up in our hotel.

Awesome. On all counts. I wasn't sure how that was going to go down with a full day of travel.

But that girl is some kind of a soldier. She never even complained, kept trying to weakly pretend she was okay.

She just dealt with it, even though she must have felt like HELL, and the trip was over 13 hours.

As soon as we got home she admitted how sick she was and went to lay on the bathroom floor.

Okay, that's the wrap up.

I'm not feeling too hot myself...

The Take Away....

Next time we're switching back to staying on-site, with the meal plan, and we are going to FLY. If you are going to max-out Disney, and apparently my kids have reached that age, it just makes it more of a vacation IMO to have everything you need as easily as possible, without having to stress about how much everything is EVERY time you try and eat, park, etc. AND we really missed having the sit down meals, and character meals that are just cost prohibitive without the meal plan, now. As long as Disney keeps giving the meal plan away for free, next time we'll plan our trip for their deal dates and take advantage of it. For me, in the end we only saved a couple hundred dollars, and in return I had to make up the difference (personally) with work and planning, which effected my vacation enjoyment. I'd rather wait until we can afford to fly and use the meal plan, just because I'd like a vacation that's completely fun & relaxing for me, too. Which is not to say we didn't have a great time. But 4 days of car travel with kids, and trying to manage food on the cheap, was just a lot of work for a vacation. Last time we stayed off site the kids were much younger, needed more downtime, didn't eat as much, and we lived a full days drive closer! ;)

Mom! How Do You Spell...

2011-11-18T09:30:00.005-05:00

"Unfortunately, I'm So Sweaty!" Baby calls from the kitchen table.

Don't Let The Princess Dress Fool You

2011-11-15T19:21:00.006-05:00

Every day Baby begs me to paint her face, to her exact specifications, as a zombie.

She also keeps telling me I really need to listen to "Zombie Rob ... He creeps me out!"

Update 11-14

2011-11-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

Updates

2011-11-07T21:36:00.003-05:00

I made pork tenderloin, peas, and stuffing for dinner

Baby said...

"Thank you for Heaven."

(make a note, Mother)

**********************************************

I've finally gotten over myself and realized that if I want to see any recognizable weight loss I will, in fact, have to lower my calories.

One week at 1400... 2.5 pounds down

That's more like it.

*********************************************

6 months ago, My father came to visit and I was forced to make our guest room an actual guest room. So, we did what anyone else would do... we threw all the weird half unpacked boxes and piles of *important* paperwork, left out from doing our taxes, on the floor of our room.

My Dad came again last week... the shit is STILL all over our floor. Except now it is not even remotely stacked... it's like a carpet of important documents.

When are they going to file themselves, already?!!!

************************************************

Any one time breastfeeding mother probably has a tube of Lansinoh lanolin in the back of a bathroom drawer.

You know what it is GREAT for?! Your kids' super chapped lips.

Kid really suffers with extremely chapped lips once we have our heat on... and I've tried everything... even diaper cream.

And this is the best.

Hypoallergenic, 100% natural, no preservatives or additives.

I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

Plus, it's not as disturbing as putting diaper cream... which you've actually used on someone's ass... on their mouth.

Go ahead and put it on your heels, too.

****************************************

Disney, we're coming for you... in 12 days.

****************************************

P.S. My Brownies co-leader... is... C-R-A-Z-Y.

Holy Darkness, Batman!

2011-11-06T18:13:00.002-05:00

Oh, Goody

2011-11-04T13:02:00.006-04:00

Apparently, It's Hobo Day...

Trick or Treat

2011-10-31T18:37:00.001-04:00

Kid who is now OFFICIALLY 9!...

And a little foxy lady who was really feeling it tonight...

Just Found The Kids...

2011-10-28T15:58:00.002-04:00

Lying on the kitchen floor, heckling the electrician (at work in the basement), through the heat vents.

Awesome.

She Does Seem Pleased

2011-10-26T11:43:00.004-04:00

Sometime early (early) this morning I finished...

Now I just need some face paint and a length of tulle to adorn the head piece... and I call it done.

Amazingly, everything fits... which... is impressive, if I do say so myself, since I wasn't using patterns or her measurements.

Of course, I finished just in time to sleep for 1/2 hour before Kid woke up not feeling well... and then woke up again every half hour to tell me about it... ALL NIGHT (er... morning) long.

I stumbled into Mr F in the hall around 8 and said...

"I was up all night with her."

And he said (get this!)...

"I know, me too."

Hmm... really?... because I was in her freaking room all night.

Turns out he got up ONE TIME when I had tried to go back to my bed at 7:30 AM. Yeah, not exactly ALL NIGHT.

Oh, God, he really makes me laugh.

Updates

2011-10-24T21:31:00.007-04:00

This weekend...

I signed the kids up for My Job Chart. And, people, miracles have been preformed since then. It's free, it's engaging, and it just might be genius. Take a moment to investigate it, while it has a heavy financial literacy bend (not terrible in it's own right)... you can (if, say, you don't actually want to give your kids a ton of $ as chore compensation) load your child's "store" up with free family activities (movie night, computer/TV time, making cookies, etc). It also has a sliding bar that allows the child to delineate how many of their points they want to put in savings, "share" (give to charity), or spend. The girls are most excited to try and earn a date with Mr F, even though an American Girl doll is up for grabs (which I listed at 12000 points, which will take roughly a year to earn). Kid said when she saw the rewards "Oh, I really would like to earn that date with Dad." very seriously. It was a heart tugging moment, and reminder that even amidst the glitz and glam, your time and attention are all they ever really want. Of course, no one was fighting over a date with me... moving on....

Mr F and I had a rare (VERY RARE) night without kids this weekend. After I spent several hours playing in Kid's virtual American Girl world earning her tons of points and filling her virtual closet with surprise outfits (dedicated parent.... or one the reasons I'm still in therapy after... oh... twenty years, is up to you)... Mr F finally came home from work and we went out to dinner and a movie. We saw The Way (thank you KB for the recommendation!) and highly recommend heading to the theater while it's showing. The gorgeous scenery makes this a theater movie rather than a Netflix one. Very moving and thought provoking. As was the theater attendant who gave us "student" priced tickets... weird... but... thanks. We couldn't tell if he made a mistake and then felt embarrassed to ask us to pay full price, if he was just being nice, or if we looked really spunky that night. Seeing as Mr F is old enough to have college aged children... hell, out-of-college aged children... and I was wearing day 2 yoga pants, I'm thinking it was scenario #1.

P.S. That movie really was very, very good. I hope my mom wants to be cremated.

Baby has decided to be Maid Marian the Disney fox version... which means I need to make both a fox costume and a Maid Marian costume... fun times. Especially when she has chosen florescent orange velour as her fox fabric. I'm committed to following her creative direction... but... the taste level is questionable. And the time and effort going into the world's tackiest fox/woman is kind of hard to rally for.

I had the worst day in the world today (thanks for asking) taking both kids with me to my doctor and then to Kid's yearly eye appointment. The bad news is I am falling apart, the good news is her eyes are doing fantastically. This is the 2nd year in a row where her prescription has changed so little getting new lenses is optional, and no further complications from her drifting, or her cataract have come up. So, despite the 3 freaking hours we spent at the eye doctor (mostly waiting)... causing us to just miss Baby's cute Halloween dance class... and my brain feeling like it was about to splatter all over the room, due to yet another migraine ... the outcome was worth it. So happy that we don't have to have any major health stress (for the kids anyway) these days. It is a real blessing when you don't have to worry about your child's actual life every time you drop them off somewhere! Been there, done that, and it takes a real toll.

I will leave you with this hilarious evening conversation:

"I'm sorry I was grumpy today, I feel like I have someone drilling into my head and someone holding a burning torch to my stomach." I explained.

"You don't know what either of those things would feel like." Kid retorts.

"I feel like I do, I'm in almost unbearable pain." I say.

"Looks like it's bearable to me." Kid returns, sarcastically.

As they say, homeschooling allows you to be your child's main role model.

In some ways that's good... In some ways that's bad.

Sometimes It Does Seem That Way

2011-10-22T18:22:00.003-04:00

"Dad got me those because he loves me... are you surprised?" Mrs F says in reference to the roses on the table.

"Yeah... Dad loves me more than he loves you." Baby says.

"Actually... he loves his cars more than he loves me or you!" Baby exclaims.

We've Finally Found The Key To Kid's Future Celibacy

2011-10-16T13:45:00.004-04:00

"Are they twins or do they just look exactly the same?!" Kid remarks.

"No, everyone looked like that in the 70s" Mr F explains.

"Oh, God! I'm glad I didn't live back then." Kid exclaims.

"Why, you don't think men that look like shaggy hairy women are attractive?" Mrs F surmises.

"No! I'd totally be single.... and I wouldn't even mind." Kid returns.

Compliments To The Chef

2011-10-15T19:15:00.005-04:00

"Fucking Delicious!" Baby exclaims at dinner.

"What?!" Mrs F asks.

"That means I like it." Baby explains.

"It is a real word." She adds a little nervously.

Yes, I know.

12:38 AM

2011-10-14T10:29:00.005-04:00

"Why are you so hyper?" Mr F asks.

"Because I need to cut my hair... right now." I say.

"Don't you want to help me cut it?" I ask.

"No." He replies.

"Why not?!" I cry.

"Because... I don't want to be responsible for it looking bad." He explains.

"But I don't care. It can't look worse. I look like I have a Russian fur hat strapped to the back of my neck. Don't you think you can cut a straight line?" I urge.

"It's curly so you can't really mess it up... you won't be able to tell." I beg

"I guess." He grumbles.

"Okay, just come with me and I'll show you... it's going to be easy." I tell him.

15 minutes later.... buh bye mullet

Ye Olde Lost and Found

2011-10-11T19:23:00.004-04:00

"Okay, If I go in there and I see it right away, you'll be regretting it." Mrs F warns.

"It's not in here." Kid pleads as she shows Mrs F the room.

"Oh... I forgot... I left it outside." Mrs F remembers.

"Then I shan't be regretting it." Kid returns sassily.

update 10-10-11

2011-10-10T18:46:00.002-04:00

Bonus round:

Dear Baby's Crack Dealer

2011-10-08T22:01:00.003-04:00

Please take pity on us.

Find another patron.

We beg of you.

A Day In The Life

2011-10-06T09:49:00.003-04:00

Babyisms

2011-10-05T11:32:00.002-04:00

These are fast fading, something I'd like to remember...

ointmeal is made of oints of course. (She stands by this... those are OINTS not oats!)

So are "canola" bars.

Apple cinnamon oatmeal = apple corn ointmeal (for obvious reasons)

noodlecorns = unicorns.

She actually used to say that right until we got a unicorn figurine with a curly horn and she realized those aren't horns they are fusili... so they've been noodlecorns ever since.

leprechaun = apricots.

"Can I have some of those leprechaun things?"

It took me a long time to realize what she wanted the first time she asked for that. It was probably just bad timing that I brought home a bag of dried apricots around St. Patricks Day.

We're Going To Disney!!!

2011-10-01T15:19:00.006-04:00

I'm so excited! We are going for Thanksgiving. Which kills two birds with one stone (vacation for us... avoiding interpersonal conflict at the family get together for me)

We've been debating this trip for the past year... Mr F's work schedule is so deadline intensive that managing a full week when he can be out of the office.... has been impossible. I think the girls had kind of given up hope at this point. But, they are the perfect ages... Baby still believes in the characters but is finally tall enough to ride the real rides, and Kid is old enough to enjoy the roller coasters but is still willing to go on the little kid rides and wait in line for autographs. So going now will mean we don't have to split up and spend our family vacation in two separate ride lines the whole time! Plus, (serious bonus) Baby is still small enough to pass for a 3 year old... so... guess who doesn't need a park admissions?! (I think God will forgive us) That shaves $300 off our trip... and next year... I don't think we'd be able to pull that off.

I just booked our hotel... and we're... (gulp)... going to drive. Mr F's work benefit is the free car & gas, so we just couldn't get around it when trying to make this trip affordable. Driving for two straight days there and back?! Yeah, I'm not really looking forward to it, but at this point, there is no denying we are a long haul driving kind of family and the kids are used to it. So, we'll make it through. Plus, it saves us the $1200+++ to fly.

We're going back to the same off-site hotel we stayed at a couple years back. It's an all suites hotel, with free parking, really nice pools (including kiddie pool, water slide, and life guard), and it's close to WDW. In fact we found we got to the parks faster driving then we did staying on-site and taking Disney transportation. We're staying at the Caribe Royale, and we totally recommend it. The rooms are massive compared to on-site, and I'd say it's at least as nice as the deluxe level Disney resorts, yet, you can get a one bedroom suite for less than $100/night. We got a corporate deal, but you can easily find reduced rates for this resort, just keep your eyes open. We were shocked at how nice it was, and what you could get for the price, compared with the Disney resorts... however... you need a car to make staying here worthwhile.

We are extremely excited to be going back. We are so happy that Mr F could take the time off, and that we'll have 9 days together just relaxing (well Disney's not exactly relaxing...) and having fun. I can't remember the last time (ever?!) that Mr F took this long of a vacation with us. I think it'll be a great time for the kids.

FYI, So far the trip is running us about $1650 (hotel, WDW parking at parks, WDW admission for 6 days w/ park hopper). Food and motels for our drive & food at the park is not included... I can't remember what we spent last time, but I think we did our food for $400 the whole trip... I'll keep our receipts and let you know. In comparison our WDW hotel quotes had us (even at a moderate resort ... which sucks compared to where we'll be) at around $3000 for this length of stay.

This Doesn't Happen Very Often Anymore

2011-09-28T09:47:00.007-04:00

Things around here have been FULL.

Everything is going surprisingly well, but we are definitely walking the edge of "how busy is too busy?".

Homeschooling, of course, takes a pretty big chunk of my day... and at different times either requires my computer or my actual presence... so... there goes blogging.

I really miss it, and would like to find a way to get the time back in the morning when I usually have the right frame of mind for writing.

Unfortunately, for me, that is also when Kid has theoright frame of mind for math... and she does that on my computer. So that takes precedence. (But I may be really hoping Santa brings her a really cheap computer of her own... if Santa could get over everything having to be a Mac... since Santa cannot afford another Mac...)

**************************************

The schooling is going EXTREMELY well. I'm super organized and we definitely have a strong "school" day this year, without it being extremely regimented. Which means, I have a schedule with all the days lessons and assignments and we work through them and check them off... the order and the time we do them is flexible. Which is good because 2 days a week Baby has preschool and that requires picking up and dropping off, one day she has dance, one day she has library storytime, one day Kid has Brownies, and one day she has horseback riding, and another day she's gone all day at her electives program. Plus, we seem to have a field trip or special class 2-3 times a month (and this month an extraordinary amount of doctor's visits). Our school day takes about 4 solid hours, sometimes we can get that all done before our afternoon activities (my preference), but other times it has to be worked around we might have a subject or two to finish before dinner. And I'm trying not to be too rigid about the lesson plans... Kid has had a couple of freak-outs during handwriting and journaling, and we've been able to use those as good therapeutic exercises. We're trying to work through the frustration she can have (the OCD perfection drive), take a time-out, speak up about it before it's too late, and walk away.... not lose control scribble so hard all over your work that you rip through the pages and ruin your finished work from last week. So we're working on recognizing the feeling and acting on that, putting the assignment away and coming back to it (today or another day) when she feels she can finish it. Not feeling badly about herself if something is triggering her, just accepting it in a non-judgemental way, setting the work aside and coming back to it later. We've had 3 weeks of handwriting assignments that went perfectly, then this week one letter just pushed her over the edge... I just erased the handwriting lesson plans I had scheduled and we kept working a little (very little) bit at a time on the one hard letter and until 3 days later she'd finished it. I'm trying to teach her that it is OK to say "I can't handle this right now" as long as we don't give up, and keep trying until we can finish it. This is hard work for her (and me), but it is the work we need to do. Some things are harder for her, but they are not impossible. It's been extremely rewarding for her, it has helped remove the guilt and shameful feelings she'd have when she'd ruin a project or feel that something was just too hard for her. She's learning that she has some harder days and that she can still succeed if she works around them... not necessarily through them.

Having said how well things are going, it is no surprise that I am contemplating changing them! We've decided to try and get both kids into a charter school next Fall. I think that will be best for Baby at this point, and it is K-8 so if she gets in Kid will have an in for the next opening at her grade level. (There are not a lot of openings since there is only one class per grade... and it's a lottery) If we get in next Fall I think we'll try it. If it works for both... great. If not, we'll know (and more importantly Kid will know) exactly what we're choosing with the homeschooling, and we'll feel like we have exhausted our free options. If Baby gets in and there are not any spots for Kid, we'll keep homeschooling Kid until one opens up for her (extremely likely in the next couple of years). If neither kid gets in?... shoot... Kid will homeschool next year and I'm not sure what I'll do with Baby. Then we'll just keep applying until we get in.

I think homeschooling is an excellent option, better in many regards, but the bottom line is that Kid really likes school, being around kids, and having an easier time socialzing (her shyness and anxiety can make it very hard for her to make friends when she doesn't see them everyday)... and there is value in that experience. If we can find a school that can work for her academically and provide her with a positive social experience, we're all for it. If not, we'll move forward with homeschooling (which has many positive attributes that school can't provide). At this time we feel we need to exhaust our options before we commit to this as a permanent solution. A small school that Baby & Kid both attend, would be awesome.

Of course, then I'd have to get a job...

But that is part of it too, for us. We aren't living off a ton of income, things are doable, but they take careful planning. The curriculum and extra curriculars we're doing cost us several thousand dollars a year... and the kids are just 4 & 8. I feel they are imperative to round out the homeschooling experience, and would likely only get more expensive as they got older. Mr F is already in his mid-forties and we're not expecting him to make that much more money in the future.... such is the lot of his industry. So, living off one income wasn't ever our long term plan. And it's not a plan I just want to blindly sign up for... it really needs to be a necessity, in order for us to try and swing it.

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I'm still working out like a fiend. I keep forgetting at the right week & day to take the progress picture... I'll try to do it next week. I'm starting to get back to food journalling this week... I would like to speed up the weight loss at this point. While I am in much better shape, I'm not dropping pounds the way I'd hoped, through the exercise alone. Time to step it up.

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I'm totally back into a stocked pantry & freezer and the meals are mostly planned. I may get back to posting that soon. Feeling really good and in control on that front.

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Migraines are back full force. Two this week.

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Getting Meek's Cutoff in the mail today from Netflix... SO EXCITED. I mean... SO FREAKING EXCITED.

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Organizing the kids activities so that we have no evening activities (except Brownies every two weeks), has made my life so much better. I have time to prepare and sit down to eat a good dinner every night again, and I also have time to workout at night again. It also just makes our family life less stressful, allows Mr F to spend more time with the kids, and overall just feels better. Bedtime is less stressful and rushed, dinner time is less stressful and rushed, and I have time for myself. This is what went wrong last year, and while it makes my days a bit more hectic, it's manageable and being done at 5 is worth it.

Let's Just Say We Won't Be Going Back...

2011-09-24T12:05:00.003-04:00

"Girls with ears?! Okay, you are a huge dork... but... a man... A MAN... a man with a tail?! I want to bludgeon you with your lance." Mr F recaps.

"I thought this was a Robin Hood festival, but really it was a pirate festival." Baby recaps.

It was basically like a Furry convention exploded into a Dungeons and Dragons convention which exploded into a casting call for a bad (really bad) pirate movie.

It was terrible, and that doesn't even count that it was cold and raining and that we actually PAID to go.

There was nothing Renaissance about it. I'm actually pretty pissed that they have schools come up for a learning experience.

None of it... none of it... not the pirates, the elfs, the fairies, OR THE FACT THAT IT WAS SET IN THE WRONG TIME PERIOD AND PLACE... had anything to do with the Renaissance.

And while it's true, we aren't really dressing up people, I can totally get into and respect some decent reenactment stuff.

This was just some people taking themselves a little too seriously at a bad Halloween party.

The fact that they had it ALL WRONG... and yet still had an annoying over the top smugness about them... made it all the more embarrassing to behold.

As I was trying to check out if this is just a bad Renaissance Festival or par for the course, I stumbled on this article...

"Will The Real Renaissance Please Stand Up"

and laughed my ass off through it. It was like he had attended the same fair (minus all the cool stuff he saw in the last paragraph of his article). So apparently, our experience was just par for the course.

1st Day of School... Baby Edition

2011-09-20T12:51:00.009-04:00

Remember THIS...

Well, time flies. Here we are three years later and it's Baby's turn to head out into the big world (without me... sniff, sniff)...

(bonus cute factor... she's wearing the same outfit Kid wore for her 1st day of preschool)
(waiting for the door to open!)

(trying to sneak a peek)

(getting down to business)

(unfortunately, she was supposed to go to circle time... listening... as they'll soon find out... is not her strong suit)

So...

2011-09-15T18:27:00.004-04:00

Am I only the only one who can't understand how to use Facebook? I just don't get it. I saw that my grandmother has a page now... and I was like... "come on!?!" how can I still be this confused. For whatever reason I just don't find it to be intuitive enough. I just can't figure out how to get my actual friends updates... my home page has those status updates but they don't ever include the people I'd actually like to see the updates of. Does anyone know what I mean? There is only like a handful of people's updates on there. I've tried again and again but for whatever reason I can't get everyone's updates on there. Mr F said you can chose who you want to include in that... but... again this is just too complex for my online time frame. Hence, I've never pursued friending anyone. Facebook makes me feel like an idiot. The only way I know to get everyone's updates is to click on each friend individually... which... I just am never going to have an entire day to do. How do you get people's updates to show up on your home page???!! There are only like 5 people that routinely come up on mine... this whole time... like 5 freaking years... I have just assumed that everyone else just never updated (like me) and that's why their updates weren't displaying there. Apparently that has not been the case.

Inquiring Minds Want To Know

2011-09-14T18:25:00.003-04:00

"I'm just wondering, but why do you and Dad sometimes say 'What the fuck'"? Kid asks before dinner

(definitely trying to draw attention away from her unfinished school work on the table)

"Well... it means 'I can't believe that just happened?'" Mrs F says after a good chuckle.

"And I don't say that ~~very often~~... Dad does." Mrs F clarifies.

"True." Kid says.

P.S. I'm not lying, I prefer "frick-frack-paddywhack" when I'm with the kids, or "shiitake mushrooms". Yep. I'm all kinds of badass.

Where To Start...

2011-09-12T17:12:00.007-04:00

Homeschooling is going GREAT. Great. I am feeling so much better, and more confident, about it as we enter into the new year. In part, I think it just feels more normal, and I don't spend quite so much time thinking about it, or worrying about what other people think. Also I've had some practice and have come up with a better system time-wise. As in, not trying to cram a 36 week curriculum into 23 weeks, because I'm a psychotic perfectionist that can't handle starting a 36 week curriculum and not finishing it... even if my child has already attended 3 months of another school. So, there's that. 36 weeks in 36 weeks is a lot more manageable ;)

For those that are interested we are using...

Sonlight Core D for our history, geography & literature
Sonlight is a Christian company, but it is easily (and often) secularized. The Bible study is a separate add on to the main year's Core, and so is easily left out (bonus, it's cheaper w/o it). The rest of the religious tie-ins are mostly teaching points included in the study guide part of the lesson planner... we just skip those points. Last year, there were a few books that had a point of view we weren't comfortable, but this year there aren't any we feel we need to skip. So overall, even from a strictly secular standpoint, Sonlight's benefits far outweigh their religious content, to me. They have a strong literature (last year our books were mostly Newberry award winners) and history base, which really appeals to Kid (and me!). There wasn't a single reading selection she didn't love. Also, not to be looked over, they have detailed lesson plans, so you just open to your day and everything is written out and planned for you. Including reading comprehension questions, discussion prompts, and tie in project ideas. This year I am actually following their assignment schedule, which is a very doable amount per subject, per day.

Sonlight also sells curriculum components from other publishers for math, handwriting, foreign language... all the most highly regarded curriculums available for their subjects. In addition, Sonlight has their own Science curriculum... but... that appears to be harder to secularize as the grades go up... so it isn't a good choice for us.

Easy Grammar for, you guessed it... grammar. This is our first year with this curriculum... and... we LOVE it. Very easy to use.

Handwriting Without Tears for cursive handwriting. Kid has been using this curriculum throughout all of her schools, so we've been sticking with it. And, if I do say so myself... she has excellent handwriting. I bought the preschool curriculum for Baby, too.

Teaching Textbooks for math. We started this toward the end of the year last year. Kid loves it (love might be a strong word..). I love that it is a completely independent learning program. The program is on CD-rom and teaches a lesson followed by practice questions than the lesson questions. You have to option to have every question gone over and the answer explained after you've answered... a great way to learn what you did wrong... or make sure you understand why you were right. It has quizzes, timed tests, and all that jazz automatically built in. The grade book allows you to check each question they got right or wrong and to erase them so they can be done over, if necessary. Kid being a perfectionist... this is KEY for us. Most importantly, it's just much more fun than a practice book or workbook. It's interactive, has enjoyable graphics... and it's taught by someone else... so no attitude for me! Win-Win. Plus... it goes all the way up to pre-calc... so... if you are in it for the long haul (or just want to supplement with something at home) this is a great program to work your way through. I'm in love with it. I want to marry the guys that came up with this. Seriously.

Science is a bit of a mish-mash this year. We have 13 weeks of the Sonlight Science curriculum we bought last year left. That's 65 lessons (with science experiments & necessary equipment all ready paid for) we're going to space those out 2 a week, and expand on the topics with additional reading, projects and experiments. In addition we're taking a Nature Study homeschool class through the Metro Park once a month, and the Toledo Zoo homeschool class once a month. I call that done. Next year we're going to use Real Science-4-Kids... I think it looks great.

Spelling... ah the dreaded spelling!!!!... you may recall that this was one of her biggest OCD anxiety triggers at school last year. This is one area where you are definitively right or wrong... that is a tremendous amount of stress on her and she starts to second guess herself and just fall apart. When I took her out of school last year I initially tried to include spelling in our lessons but it just resulted in major fights and breakdowns... so we decided to take a break and try again this year. We're back to using last year's Spectrum workbook. We're doing it... but I actually think the stress it causes results in here forgetting how to spell basic words she actually normally can... not sure spelling is this important at this point. Since it is a testing oriented subject (the only one we have really) the stress is inherent. Still trying to think of a better way... or just not worry about it this year.

Writing... we're using a writing prompts site I found online somewhere. She has a day where we brainstorm and she writes out her rough day, a day to work on revision (this ties in very nicely with our grammar program), and a day to work on her final draft. Writing is another area that can be stressful for Kid. Last year we focused on letter writing. This year we're focusing on short essays ("the best food I ever ate was..." "if I was an animal..." "If I could fly I'd...", etc.). Using the prompts helps take some of the pressure off.

Is that everything?! Kid is also taking Art, Drama, Gymnastics & Classical Guitar at a homeschooling electives program all day Thursday.

Kid also reads books of her choice all the time. Typically going through a book a day... I'm keeping a comprehensive log, for no reason other than it is amazing how many books she reads a week, and it helps me to keep track of what to look for at the library. She has just started on an old school Nancy Drew jag... which has now, after several nightmares, been ruled a daytime read ONLY! So at night this week she's started the Wizard of Oz series. She reads a good 4-5 hours a day. Weekends? 10+.
You may recall that her public school teacher had her placed in the pre-primer reading group... yeah... that's why we're homeschooling, peeps. That and the fact that they didn't think she could count by twos. Test anxiety is real, thank you very much.

Plus, when you're at home your science experiments might upon occasion look like Guantanamo outtakes...

and that's your business.

P.S. I am having SERIOUS computer problems... jumping cursor... random highlighting & deleting... it took me hours to write this, rewrite it, fix, try and undo edit it, find the new weird word combos it had inserted by moving the cursor... a freaking nightmare!!!! So, hence my more sporadic blogging and lack of comment returning. I'm sorry. Not sure how to fix it right now, though.

All Clear

2011-09-07T16:24:00.006-04:00

We went to the hospital for Baby's cardiology appointment. She packed her new preschool backpack full of everything she could possibly stuff in there... just in case.

Which was smart, since she was able to wait for her tests in relative comfort.

(FYI Mr F was crying in this pic)

She was a total trooper. As always.

It really highlights the differences between Kid and Baby.

Kid has had an unfortunate amount of medical issues, but even the most basic appointment is really hard on her.

Baby just does what needs to be done.

And WHOA does that make it so much easier to get through.

(although I guess not on Mr F... )

Before the appointment she asked if she would have to get shots.

I explained to her that they would just listen to her and take some pictures.

"Oh good, I don't think I could be brave as a knight for THREE shots!" she said.

She's so cute.

And thankfully she's also perfectly healthy.

She does have two different murmurs, yes TWO, but they are both innocent and are in no way a health concern.

Yeah!

I even let her get one of those nasty Monster High dolls she's been begging me for in congratulations.

I already regret it.

It's really, really creepy.

Weekend Update

2011-09-06T16:34:00.005-04:00

Mr F spent every day of this long weekend either at work or taking what was a two brick repair into a full fledge 3 day project...
(let's call this Hyperfocus Exhibit A)

Since Mr F was preoccupied all day anyway, I decided to bump up our 1st day of school and started on Sunday...

Kid was thrilled. Getting back to the grind proved to be a bit of a rude awakening after 3 months off. There was some blowback. Thankfully our 2nd day (today) went off without a hitch.

Baby actually was thrilled, since I bought her some workbooks of her own. She starts at the community preschool in two weeks... she already has her backpack packed.

Favorite picture of the weekend...

Baby's "Chicago" street scene set up. I just loved this.

Least favorite picture of the weekend...
We did manage to pull Mr F away for a couple of hours to visit the zoo with us on Monday. Here is Kid actually crying about the animal she ended up with on the carousel... for real, and yes, I expressed my displeasure (then fixed it for her... don't worry). But this also happens to be the exact same face she was giving me all through our first day of homeschooling... in case you needed help envisioning it. It was a pleasure.

OH and good news... I called the cardiologist today to check for cancelations and got our appointment bumped up to TOMORROW. Whew. I really couldn't imagine waiting another 3 weeks for answers (especially since I'm now getting up every couple of hours to make sure she's still alive in her bed).

10 Years

2011-09-01T15:14:00.005-04:00

This one actually feels monumental.

Last year came and went... and I don't think we even exchanged cards.

Like the other time we bought cards but left them in their bags to be found, later, unsigned.

Things had been so busy with moving and school starting.

New life.

Again.

And so this year seemed big.

Driving down the flat highway across Michigan to see the traveling circus.

Kids, big, in the back.

It just all felt so right.

So easy.

So comfortable.

Like a big exhale... finally.

Finally.

So many things have come and gone.

So many hard times.

And I can say, that we are better for it.

I have changed in a way that needed changing.

So it feels like an accomplishment.

A marker that feels solid.

And in the midst of this big day, is life.

Work and errands and appointments.

Anxiety about Baby's vaccinations.

She not one for the white coats after her un-anesthitized stitches.

Proving herself ever the soldier.

Not one muscle tensed.

It was amazing.

What a relief.

And then I left with the unexpected poke.

"Have you been referred to a cardiologist?"

"No...." I managed to breathe out, my own heart now racing.

Today of all days in the back of my mind.

And then, of course, yes, today of all days.

It's all part of it.

Fitting its importance.

My Weekend Reading

2011-08-29T22:46:00.002-04:00

photo journalist turned circus wife and mother= blog perfection

The Big Top

2011-08-28T22:14:00.014-04:00

The thing about a small one ring circus....

(Especially in your $2 extra ring side seats... which are LITERALLY touching the outside of the ring)

Is that your proximity to the death defying acts...

Is death defying.

Like when this tiger stared me down.

It was about 15 feet away.

With only that open cage in between us.

I almost died.

Or when this guy was walking upside down.

Right over our heads.

An elephant almost pooped IN MY LAP.

I thought I was going to be trampled by camels.

I felt the fuel accelerant on my face when the human volcano spit fire

And it was all worth it.

100% exhilarating.

Totally worth the 2 hours there and back.

Today The Fair... Tomorrow The Circus (believe it)

2011-08-27T22:19:00.004-04:00

Progress

2011-08-23T21:28:00.007-04:00

BEFORE:

AFTER 2 WEEKS (7 workouts):

BEFORE:

AFTER 2 WEEKS (7 workouts):

Difference? Yes... it's admittedly hard to see it in these pics. Plus, it's incredibly hard for me to get in the same position each time!!!! Either way, what did you expect?... It's only been two weeks. I know from experience that these photos are worth taking for the end compilation (do you remember that incredible shrinking woman Mr F put together for me last time?) But I am definitely less pudgy around the midsection. Definitely. It's easier to see in the straight ahead shot (I wore that headband just for you). It's enough that I'm motivated to keep going.

Chicken Shit

2011-08-23T10:56:00.004-04:00

"How is it that one day you get married and put a ring on your finger, and the next you can get pregnant?" Kid asks.

"Yeah... hmm..." Mrs F stutters trying to buy some time.

"That is weird... no one really knows." She finishes, ashamed of herself, but also partly relieved.

File Under... We're Pretty Sure She's Straight

2011-08-19T12:04:00.004-04:00

The other night, while we were snuggled up preparing to do our nightly reading, Kid turned and asked...

"How come the men on TV are always wearing wrap pants and have bare chests that are muscular, and oiled, with black hair?"

"Well, I guess they think we'll think that is sexy." I reply, taken back a bit by her very detailed observation.

"Oh, yeah, I totally do." Kid replies slowly with a lusty voice.

Update

2011-08-11T15:01:00.004-04:00

more exciting breaking news...

Kid just got her classical guitar. Broody songs to come, I'm sure.

This Is What It Has Come To...

2011-08-09T22:26:00.007-04:00

Current (soon to be BEFORE shots... God willing):

I've got a workout routine that I like. I've got a whole bunch of trash lined up on the TIVO.

Theoretically, nothing should stop me.

Hey, next thing you know I might start putting up meal plans...

(Please note: we did not decorate that bathroom)

Well Whatever It Was.... It Is Over.

2011-08-08T11:48:00.004-04:00

We ended up canceling our weekend trip, just to be on the safe side.

Kid's medical history, which we had finally felt we were putting behind us, came rushing back full force.

It was definitely an unpleasant reminder.

The last time she woke up in the early morning hours behaving oddly, in a semi conscious state...

well...

she was foaming from the mouth an hour later.

So, around here, we don't mess around.

We can't.

The Weirdest Thing Happened

2011-08-06T11:30:00.003-04:00

and it really unnerved me.

Late, late, last night, long after Mr F's office bbq.

Which in and of itself unnerved me.

As I said to Mr F...

"You don't even like to go to your own office parties... that's why you always force me to go."

Well, much later, Kid came to my door crying.

Then I proceeded to have the most disturbing, confusing, heartbreaking conversation with her.

It's hard to recreate.

She said weird things, but answered questions about them convincingly.

This went on for half an hour.

She made eye contact.

But she was saying things that were cryptic and strange.

Things I've never heard before.

It freaked me the fuck out, to be honest.

What is going on?

What is she trying to tell me?

Why is she being so evasive?

She kept interjected "never mind" and "I don't want to tell you, you'll get mad."

Those are every parent's worst fear.

You must find a way around those roadblocks.

But in the end, I couldn't.

And after a long while of tossing and turning, she finally went back to her room and went back to sleep.

I lay there, charged, electrified by the unknown.

What just happened?

I still don't know.

Was she in some kind of strange halfway lucid/halfway sleep mode?

Was she confusing dreams for reality?

Or was she really trying to tell me something?

Something an 8 year old doesn't have the right words for.

Crime And Punishment

2011-08-03T14:11:00.005-04:00

At our house, I work pretty hard to set firm boundaries and appropriate
consequences.

Of course, I also thinking maintaining a strong sense of humor helps the medicine go down a little smoother.

It's why I felt that this...

(matching clothes and forced polly pocket play directed by Baby)

was an adequate punishment for bossing and intimidation.

I like to call this punishment "How Do You Like Them Apples?"

Because, sometimes you have to see how the other half lives in order to gain a little perspective.

It's also why I met Kid at her ~~jail cell~~ bedroom door the other night with this...

sometimes you need a nudge to help you rejoin population

with a smile...

and not the scowl that "time in the hole" can induce.

(trust me.. it was a stroke of genius... she laughed her ass off)

Haircut Day

2011-08-01T16:46:00.007-04:00

BEFORES:

AFTERS:

Some people demand that there be "NO (noticeable) CHANGE!!!"

Others are more adventurous