Mr F will probably be pissed... but then again he did do this last night:
Thursday, August 7, 2008
You Know What They Say About Measuring Twice...
If you're going to drill 4 holes in my hardwood floors is there a reason you couldn't have done it behind the TV armoire?!?!
Mr F will probably be pissed... but then again he did do this last night:
Mr F will probably be pissed... but then again he did do this last night:
Move Over Joan Crawford
Last night I lost my temper. I yelled at Kid. I said things that weren't nice. I regretted it, even while I was doing it, but was too immature in the moment to stop. We all have this inside of us. I'm not putting this out there so someone will try and make me feel better about it. I putting it out there so someone might feel better about themselves.
We all mess up sometimes. It's what you do about it that makes the difference.
We all mess up sometimes. It's what you do about it that makes the difference.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Cause You Never Know What Hand You're Getting Dealt
After arriving in Asheville a few weeks ago I immediately went to meet with the principals/directors of several schools in our neighborhood. Every single one of them (private, public, & charter) were full for the coming school year. Every single one. The school system is different than a typical public school system. Here the city schools are run on a Magnet program and you get in by lottery. This means that desirable schools fill up quickly and those may or may not be in your neighborhood. If you want to have control over what school your child attends, and in what neighborhood, you may be out of luck. The same goes for the charter schools and the private schools. Relocating a month before school starts and attempting to get in anywhere has been a nightmare!
I had resigned myself to homeschooling for Kindergarten and taking the time to research all of our options and apply for next year. Then while on vacation Up North (which is technically what the region is called I'm not juxtaposing to the South!) we got the call that there was an opening at the private school in our neighborhood. I was so relived I could have cried. As much as I think homeschooling can be both doable and rewarding, I was very worried about being socially isolated in a new place. This school is maybe a bit more "hippy" than I would choose for myself socially but it is perfect for Kid academically and hey that's what school is for... right?
Okay so I've been juggling all the new student paperwork and writing checks up the wazoo (it is NOT cheap) and generally stressing about Kid's first step out into the big world. And then...
Not one week after we committed to this placement and paid our fees and 2 months of tuition (and signed all the paperwork binding us to the entire year's tuition) we get word that Mr F's main freelance client is pulling out and he won't have that work anymore. You see where this is going right? If I had known that ONE week ago I would have turned down the spot. We had been counting on the freelance work for things like... oh I don't know... private school. I'd be wringing my hands right now if I still wasn't still so relieved that someone else will be teaching Kid to read and that maybe (just maybe) I'll find a friend of my own. That just might be worth 8K right?
But this is our life, this is how everything turns out. It has become almost laughable... for every up there is a down. It's hard to ever feel like we're moving forward. We felt good about being able to put extra money down on our mortgage and then, after signing all the papers, we discover that we needed all new appliances... how much did that cost?... exactly as much as the extra we put down when we closed on the house. And now with this we've gone from feeling as financially secure as we've ever been back to exactly where we started... overnight.
It's hard for me to process all this. I mean we just made a huge financial commitment (which may still be for the best) and I'm not sure how we'll make it work. We can make it work... but it will require very careful budgeting (which will be done by you know who). The upside to all this... and it is a huge upside... is that Mr F will not be working 2 jobs anymore. Mr F still has a couple of projects but for the most part our evenings will be family time... which we haven't had in 4 years (seriously). So it's not all bad, in fact I think in some ways it's better, just a bit more stressful.
I had resigned myself to homeschooling for Kindergarten and taking the time to research all of our options and apply for next year. Then while on vacation Up North (which is technically what the region is called I'm not juxtaposing to the South!) we got the call that there was an opening at the private school in our neighborhood. I was so relived I could have cried. As much as I think homeschooling can be both doable and rewarding, I was very worried about being socially isolated in a new place. This school is maybe a bit more "hippy" than I would choose for myself socially but it is perfect for Kid academically and hey that's what school is for... right?
Okay so I've been juggling all the new student paperwork and writing checks up the wazoo (it is NOT cheap) and generally stressing about Kid's first step out into the big world. And then...
Not one week after we committed to this placement and paid our fees and 2 months of tuition (and signed all the paperwork binding us to the entire year's tuition) we get word that Mr F's main freelance client is pulling out and he won't have that work anymore. You see where this is going right? If I had known that ONE week ago I would have turned down the spot. We had been counting on the freelance work for things like... oh I don't know... private school. I'd be wringing my hands right now if I still wasn't still so relieved that someone else will be teaching Kid to read and that maybe (just maybe) I'll find a friend of my own. That just might be worth 8K right?
But this is our life, this is how everything turns out. It has become almost laughable... for every up there is a down. It's hard to ever feel like we're moving forward. We felt good about being able to put extra money down on our mortgage and then, after signing all the papers, we discover that we needed all new appliances... how much did that cost?... exactly as much as the extra we put down when we closed on the house. And now with this we've gone from feeling as financially secure as we've ever been back to exactly where we started... overnight.
It's hard for me to process all this. I mean we just made a huge financial commitment (which may still be for the best) and I'm not sure how we'll make it work. We can make it work... but it will require very careful budgeting (which will be done by you know who). The upside to all this... and it is a huge upside... is that Mr F will not be working 2 jobs anymore. Mr F still has a couple of projects but for the most part our evenings will be family time... which we haven't had in 4 years (seriously). So it's not all bad, in fact I think in some ways it's better, just a bit more stressful.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Under The Weather
Woke up feeling terrible. Light headed, shaky, weird. I fear I might be coming down with something (terrible timing), or maybe I've just been over exerting myself...
However sickness would explain why Baby has not been eating the last few days and waking all night.
Ugh.
However sickness would explain why Baby has not been eating the last few days and waking all night.
Ugh.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Someone Save Me
"I mean it! Stay Out Of The Kitchen!!"
"For real... you already ate... do not come in here AT ALL!"
"For real... you already ate... do not come in here AT ALL!"
Sunday, August 3, 2008
This Week The Plan
I'm back. I think it is a very good sign that I am even attempting to get back in the organizational saddle.
I'd give you the week in review but lets be real you know what it was... hell.
Menu:
Monday - hamburgers
Tuesday - quiche & bagged salad
Wednesday - chicken & pasta primevera
Thursday - ?
Friday - go out to eat
Saturday - pizza, potluck brunch... hmmm
Sunday - tomato & meatball soup
Diet & Exercise:
This week I'm going to stop freaking lying to myself and start doing something.
6 days this week I am going to do some kind of exercise. You can track it along with me in my left hand sidebar.
I'm going to go for 1600 calories 5 days and have 2 slightly higher days. I'm doing it.
Move Related Tasks:
Monday - take obviously basement items down, finish kitchen, assemble kids beds
Tuesday - get stove delivered, hopefully get stove & dryer hooked up!
Wednesday - Do laundry, get master bedroom set up
Thursday -Target run, hang curtains
Friday - unpack clothes
Saturday - Kid's Kindergarten potluck! Yay!
Outlook Is Improving
Well things have a very different feel around these parts on the weekends. I'm not sure entirely how to account for that but it is true. The sketch factor is replaced by families and the vacant buildings are less noticeable (maybe since it's quieter and more stores are closed anyway?). Maybe there are more 2 parent working families in our neighborhood and so they just aren't around as much during the weekdays?
We still don't have a stove or oven so we've been going out to eat and getting around our neighborhood a bit more. I think I can have the walkable community I wanted and in that regard think we made the right decision to move here. The unfortunate parts of downtown West Asheville is that really only one side of the street is being reclaimed... and of course it is the other side from us and Kid's school. There are about 2 blocks of mostly new businesses and then on our side (where clearly most of the original architecture was torn down) is a gas station, some misc odd stuff, a parking lot, a self serve car wash, a gas station, an abandoned gas station ,and then things pick up a bit with 2 restaurants before you reach Kid's school. On the other side of the drag there is a grocery store and then it is kind of touch & go with some new stores and some old stores.
One issue the contributes to the run down appearance of the downtown for me is that we're walking in front of all the shitty stuff and that there are no easements between the sidewalk and the road or the sidewalk and the gas stations... which not only looks grimier but feels more dangerous while walking your two little kids along the edge of a busy road. I'm actively looking for an alternate route that isn't too much out of our way. I do think if West Asheville had grassy easements (especially w/ trees) the little downtown would seem a lot more like a destination and a lot less like a drive thru area. I think for those locals who come to shop they park by the bakery or market and most likely stick to that smaller area where things do in fact feel a bit reclaimed. It would take a big developer to come in (which isn't desirable either) and have the money to tear down the gas station and build something else, and I don't think that'll happen anytime soon.
Outside of all that I have been delighted (slash disappointed) to discover that you can actually see the mountains from West Asheville... just not from our block! I think once the trees lose their leaves I might be able to see them a bit while walking around with the kids. It was a hard choice for me to make between living some place more naturally beautiful and living some place more walkable... I'll be really happy if I can have a bit of both.
We still don't have a stove or oven so we've been going out to eat and getting around our neighborhood a bit more. I think I can have the walkable community I wanted and in that regard think we made the right decision to move here. The unfortunate parts of downtown West Asheville is that really only one side of the street is being reclaimed... and of course it is the other side from us and Kid's school. There are about 2 blocks of mostly new businesses and then on our side (where clearly most of the original architecture was torn down) is a gas station, some misc odd stuff, a parking lot, a self serve car wash, a gas station, an abandoned gas station ,and then things pick up a bit with 2 restaurants before you reach Kid's school. On the other side of the drag there is a grocery store and then it is kind of touch & go with some new stores and some old stores.
One issue the contributes to the run down appearance of the downtown for me is that we're walking in front of all the shitty stuff and that there are no easements between the sidewalk and the road or the sidewalk and the gas stations... which not only looks grimier but feels more dangerous while walking your two little kids along the edge of a busy road. I'm actively looking for an alternate route that isn't too much out of our way. I do think if West Asheville had grassy easements (especially w/ trees) the little downtown would seem a lot more like a destination and a lot less like a drive thru area. I think for those locals who come to shop they park by the bakery or market and most likely stick to that smaller area where things do in fact feel a bit reclaimed. It would take a big developer to come in (which isn't desirable either) and have the money to tear down the gas station and build something else, and I don't think that'll happen anytime soon.
Outside of all that I have been delighted (slash disappointed) to discover that you can actually see the mountains from West Asheville... just not from our block! I think once the trees lose their leaves I might be able to see them a bit while walking around with the kids. It was a hard choice for me to make between living some place more naturally beautiful and living some place more walkable... I'll be really happy if I can have a bit of both.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Good Fucking Grief...
I am really not happy about how my body has ... um... changed the last few months.
5 pounds and 5% more body fat has made a visible difference and I am not happy about it!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Homesick
I knew it was going to be hard. Moving and unpacking is hard even if you aren't changing jobs and cities much less entire states. Moving and unpacking when you are a stay-at-home mom is even harder. It's easy to say "just get out and explore your new area"... but that is difficult to do with Baby even when I know exactly where I'm going and what I can expect. This is a kid who you really can't take out and about, and I'm saying that as a mother who was able to take Kid anywhere and everywhere. My point being it is not that I'm opposed to doing it... it is just the reality of doing it with Baby is more than I want to handle on a typical day. I was homebound most of the time in Ann Arbor but at least there I already had friends.
Making "mom" friends is hard. It is a lot like dating (except you can't count on alcohol to get you through the rough moments) and it takes the same amount of time and energy to find the right fit. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret (new moms close your eyes) it is even harder when you have more than one child. When you are a new mom and you have a baby there is some kind of pheromone you emit that attracts all new moms with the same age child... you see them EVERYWHERE and you are all obsessed with baby development and whatnot and it doesn't even matter that outside of that you technically have nothing in common.
When you have 2 kids it isn't like that. You need to find someone with kids in similar age ranges who get along with your kids (6 year olds seem to want to have a say in who their friends are those stinkers). You no longer want to talk about your baby you want to talk about laser hair removal and permanent birth control (or is that just me?). You don't care if your baby is drinking your iced coffee, let alone if they are developing "on time", if it buys you some time to talk to someone about something other than My Little Ponies for 10 minutes uninterrupted. It takes time to find someone who can be your friend and not just the mother of your kids' friends... and in the meantime I miss my friends tremendously.
Making "mom" friends is hard. It is a lot like dating (except you can't count on alcohol to get you through the rough moments) and it takes the same amount of time and energy to find the right fit. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret (new moms close your eyes) it is even harder when you have more than one child. When you are a new mom and you have a baby there is some kind of pheromone you emit that attracts all new moms with the same age child... you see them EVERYWHERE and you are all obsessed with baby development and whatnot and it doesn't even matter that outside of that you technically have nothing in common.
When you have 2 kids it isn't like that. You need to find someone with kids in similar age ranges who get along with your kids (6 year olds seem to want to have a say in who their friends are those stinkers). You no longer want to talk about your baby you want to talk about laser hair removal and permanent birth control (or is that just me?). You don't care if your baby is drinking your iced coffee, let alone if they are developing "on time", if it buys you some time to talk to someone about something other than My Little Ponies for 10 minutes uninterrupted. It takes time to find someone who can be your friend and not just the mother of your kids' friends... and in the meantime I miss my friends tremendously.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Apparently
I'm not allowed to not like where I live... it is offensive to everybody who lives anywhere within a 10 hour drive of here.
No... seriously. It seems that people have strong feelings about Asheville. And here is the deal... I just got here! Give me a few days I'm sure I'll get used to it. It's not personal... really. I've just uprooted myself and my kids from my family and friends, with hardly a month's notice, to a place I had never been. To a place that is more of a city, and a bit more rundown, and a tad more expensive. The pawn shop, gun shop, used appliance store, and the "Gang Free Zone" signs on the public school a few blocks away aren't helping. The large daily cinnamon bun from the bakery up the street is. It is an adjustment. But is it not at all possible that Asheville isn't a "step up" from everywhere else in the world? I'm wondering... I mean really... isn't it at all possible that where we moved from was in fact nicer? Just putting that out there.
No... seriously. It seems that people have strong feelings about Asheville. And here is the deal... I just got here! Give me a few days I'm sure I'll get used to it. It's not personal... really. I've just uprooted myself and my kids from my family and friends, with hardly a month's notice, to a place I had never been. To a place that is more of a city, and a bit more rundown, and a tad more expensive. The pawn shop, gun shop, used appliance store, and the "Gang Free Zone" signs on the public school a few blocks away aren't helping. The large daily cinnamon bun from the bakery up the street is. It is an adjustment. But is it not at all possible that Asheville isn't a "step up" from everywhere else in the world? I'm wondering... I mean really... isn't it at all possible that where we moved from was in fact nicer? Just putting that out there.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Almost Home... whatever that means
I'm packing the kids up tonight for a repeat of our adventurous trip up here... made all the more fun by taking place during dinner & bedtime... should be extra fun.
The weird part is that this will be our first time coming home to our new house... a house we really haven't lived in... a house that won't look anything like the last time we saw it. I'm not sure if seeing our furniture in it will be comforting or if it will be weird if not sad to see them in a different space. I'll let you know.
The weird part is that this will be our first time coming home to our new house... a house we really haven't lived in... a house that won't look anything like the last time we saw it. I'm not sure if seeing our furniture in it will be comforting or if it will be weird if not sad to see them in a different space. I'll let you know.
Monday, July 28, 2008
First Take On Asheville
I'm sure my feelings will change and evolve once I get settled in... but... in the meantime you can enjoy this little ditty recorded on my FIRST day in our new "hometown":
Sunday, July 27, 2008
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