Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Brace Yourselves!

I'm actually going to attempt to write a serious and meaningful post for a change.

Unfortunately Baby Furious the Wonder Baby just decided to start officially cruising... as in walking around furniture, etc... she is just over 7 months old.. this is ridiculous... so I may have to start and stop a bit as I monitor her constant hjinks. She has also just realized she can pull our tablecloth off which is potentially disastrous!

So today I stepped on the scale as I do everyday and lo and behold I weigh 118.8! I almost started crying. When I started on this journey I picked 118 as a *lofty* idealistic goal and here I am 7 months later and I did it! I have surpassed my pre-pregnancy weight by 8 pounds. I put on my size six jeans and no muffin top! They are actually shockingly a little too big! I have not been able to fit in my clothes and I kind of stopped trying them on so as not to feel disappointed every this was a very pleasant surprise.

And before you all start to hate me I'll through this shot in too.... Let's just say I did not inherent any collagen! Thankfully for all those who will never again wear a bikini there is a new little thing out there called the Tankini... God Bless the person who came up with that one!

So anyway here is the deal having kids pretty much *destroyed* my body. And I know some of you will say "you look great" well that is easy to say when it isn't your body. Somethings in life just aren't fair and this is one of those things. When you don't look like *yourself* it is very hard to have a positive self image. And it is very hard to think you will ever be able to do anything about that. I mean I spent a lot of time between children thinking... well this is as good as I'm ever going to get. And I know a lot of people feel the same way.. and it might not be your stretched out stomachs holding you back, but your thighs, or chin, man boobs... whatever! But I'm here as proof that you can feel better and you can look better. These albatrosses that we carry around are only as big as we let them be. My stomach will never look like it did before children and I could hold on to this fact and beat myself up about it all I want... I can't go back in time and have different parents conceive me and bestow me with more stretchable skin... this is it ..this is life...this is my skin. But for years I didn't really believe I could feel good enough about my body to make a commitment to getting in shape.
Now I've never had a weight problem but sweet jesus I have felt inadequate or badly about myself most of my life. When I gained 42 pounds with my first pregnancy I was shocked, when my stomach got stretched out I was devastated. It took me over a year to lose the weight and then I started training with a pilates instructor twice a week... but I never did cardio. This allowed me to slim down and get pretty strong and I told myself I was in shape... but I also told myself that the fatty deposit in my stomach was due to my skin issue and not a lack of exercise. I completely bought into that. I really believed this was as good as I could get and I would need a tummy tuck to look any better. That was until I started watching The Biggest Loser reruns this summer and saw people lose 100+ pounds and plenty of these people had stretchmarks like mine and when they came out at the finale they had washboard stomachs! Sure they had the little extra skin... but it was just skin. And that changed my whole perception of what was possible. I'm never going to be *perfect* but I can strive for something better and I can actually believe that I am capable of looking and feeling better.... and I do.
So PLEASE stop telling yourself you are too busy or stressed out to get in better shape. Stop telling yourself that there is no point... you'll always have cankles or heavy upper arms... there is a point. The point is you can feel better. You can actually look better too. And no it really isn't that hard to do it.. it is just hard to start doing it. It is hard to believe you will stick to something long enough to see results... it is hard to stop lying to yourself. Believe me you are not busier ...or more stressed out... or living on less sleep than I am. You can do this!


Cheryl said...

I am amazed by you. I'm really happy for you, and mad at me. You look fantastic in those jeans, no bulges or anything. I feel frustrated that I haven't been as consistent as you. That feeling of, I could be where you are, if only... I agree pregnancy does just destroys your body (back to back didn't help either). I felt like before Jake I had managed to get into great shape, I was running regularly (finished my 3rd marathon). Now I can barely run 2 miles! Unlike your morning, I put on some shorts today and felt like they were tighter than last week! And I noticed the love handles I got this last pregnancy are still hanging around. It probably looks worse since after nursing Brian, my breasts are smaller and saggy! So, after having a terrible body morning. I even returned a pair of jeans that I bought Sat. b/c I decided I looked fat in them. I am determined to stick with a program and goal. I think I am 133/4 now, I want to be 125, and in shape (that means 125 of muscle, not fat. So, does by Dec. seem like a good goal? I have to figure out my new calorie goal, I'm only breastfeeding once a day now, and that'll probably be gone soon, he prefers not to work for food now. Hopefully seeing that it worked for someone else will motivate me enough b/c I get frustrated easily lately.

Mrs. Furious said...

You can do this by December easy. I'd go to 1500 if you haven't already. I'm at about 1600-1700 but I'm breastfeeding around 10-12 a day still. Plus I think you should try and do 5 hours of cardio a week. At least that is what I have been doing and that's how I've lost this last 12 pounds so quickly. I'm back on the food diary blog and my mom is trying to lose 10 before a trip in 2 months so she'll be on there everyday too. Did you see my comment back to you over there? I'd say try to push out a good week before you go to CT... don't tell yourself you'll start when you get back :)

etbroderick said...

Congratulations! And you know--you are right. I mean, I didn't know that in a way. I am not sure I could have believed that I could ever touch 118 again. I don't know if I will get there. (Hell--I'd be thrilled with 125-130 about now, but 118 would be a dream...)But it is so true that the comittment and hard work and persistence are what gets it done. And on some level of course I knew that. And I have seen the people on TV and in magazines who were 300 lbs and they lost 180 or whatever. And when they started they could barely walk to the mailbox. But they kept going everyday and little by little it happened for them. Part of me wants to write about this all night, but the other part of me says--here I am again, up late so I'll be tired when my alarm goes off, blah, blah, blah. I should shut up and go to bed and tomorrow get on the treadmill, dammit! (P.S. Can you send me an invite to your food diary group? How does it work? I do think being accountable would be a huge motivator for me to get started and to keep up but am not sure what-all is involved. I am not good at the calorie counting. Sounds like a cop-out and I guess it is. I've started with that so many times in the past and for a week or two I swing it but it is so hard to keep up...) Okay. Now I sound like a baby since you tore us all a new one. But we (at least I) need to hear it. That's the difference. The people who succeed are the people who try, and try and work and persevere. CONGRATS to you. Boy am I gonna feel like a load when you visit! ;)

Mrs. Furious said...

I didn't write this to make you all feel bad... but to feel like you can do this... you can have this same success. You CAN! It is all about consistency. I have been consistent. My mom is back on board and trying to lose the same weight she was trying to lose when we started with the food diary. Anyway I was giving her my rules and she said "you don't think if you have a really good week you deserve a break on the weekends?" And I was like "stop messing with me mom!" And she said she was serious and so I told no I absolutely didn't think that. You can have a weekend off when you have lost the weight. The thing is looking back on 7 months you realize how fast it goes... looking forward 7 months seems impossible. It's not it will go just as fast. I believe keeping a food diary and calorie counting (everyday even the days you blow it) are the key to real long term weight loss. It really only takes 10 min a day to do this. I'll send you the invite. I use this site to look stuff up. I'll break down how I did it and the things I think are key in a new post tomorrow.

etbroderick said...

I know you weren't trying to make anyone feel bad. That's not what I was implying--I just mean it is a wake-up call. Like all the things we say to excuse ourselves--they're not excuses! "I have no time...I'm too tired...etc." When you make the commitment and make the time and stick to it--it works! It's something we know way down deep but watching you do it sort of forces us to confront our own weaknesses...Know what I mean? MAKING it work is the difference between those who lose and those of us who feel stuck and unhappy. It's simple but true!

Mrs. Furious said...

Oh good... I reread it like 6 times to be sure I hadn't been too pompous or something :)

Cheryl said...

You didn't sound at all pompous, the opposite actually. It just came across like you wanted us to share what you're feeling. You worked really hard, it just shows what dedication can accomplish. It makes me feel like really committing, otherwise I'm just wasting half-hearted efforts.

Mrs. Furious said...

Well good, cause that is my intention with all this. Even if you aren't in the place to *know* you can do this I know you can. I never in a million years thought that I would meet this goal so soon. I really wasn't even sure I'd be back to my pre-pregnancy weight by now. You can only go on your past experiences and mine was that it took a long time to lose my last pregnancy weight. The truth was I didn't really try to lose it so it took a long time. I think everyone should pick a goal weight and go to the Calorie Count Plus site I listed above. This place was so inspirational to me. You can either give them a goal weight or leave it blank and they'll determine one for you and then they'll tell you when you should be able to reach that weight. They told me 127 by July 31st... when I put in my own goal of 118 they said Oct 24th. I though both of those were lofty dates... but I surpassed them! The trick really is I really do stick to my calories and I have had maybe 6 total days where I went over that in the last 4 months. But by still keeping my routine and writing down a fancy restaurant meal I never took a break and so I never had to start back up... obviously a major pitfall for people. It didn't matter that I screwed up I just kept going.

Mrs. Furious said...

otherwise I'm just wasting half-hearted efforts.

I think that is where Mr F is right now. This post actually made him uncomfortable as it hit a little too close to home figuritively and literally I suppose too ;)
But Cheryl you absolutely can do this. Getting older and having kids is like a one two punch. But seriously I cannot believe I have done this, and if I can you can. You just got your elliptical so don't beat yourself up about! It takes time to figure out the best way to fit exercise in. I really think I exercised off the last bit of weight whereas I dieted off the first 30 (I'm not including the natutal post partum 20 pound initial loss) and the body changes are much more apparent. Matt said last night that there is a much bigger difference between 128 & 118 then there was between 138 & 128. Point being once you get going you'll see results and you'll be surprised. And that will be the motivation you need to stick with it. It is hard to stay motivated when you aren't getting the results you want. I also have found that these last 2 months I'll be stuck at a weight for like 2-3 weeks and then I'll drop a couple of pounds in a day. I think I've cycled through that about 3 times. That is where my before & after pics have really helped. I can see a difference even if my scale isn't budging. I really recommend doing that. Also you just feel great seeing how far you've come. I wish I had started taking them sooner!

Mr Furious said...

Coming home last night and seeing you in your "old" clothes was like the difference when you haven't seen someone in a year.

Seriously. There seems to be a bigger difference between the last five pounds and the previous 10 or 15.

I'm so used to seeing you in a rotation of familiar clothes (workout outfit, nightgown, summer stuff) that seeing you in jeans was really dramatic.

You've really made tremendous progress, and to somebody like me that can be dauting at the same time as inspiring. I suspect that is true of others as well.

Lately I've been comfortable (content) with the mild improvements I've made, but I really need to, as Sandra likes to say, "step to plate."

etbroderick said...

I'm sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to make it sound like you'd been pompous. I just reread my own post from last night to see what I said--I just ramble when I type. I guess it was the line "you ripped us a new one" --?! I just mean you called us out--and I know you weren't really doing that either. But the part about we are not busier than you, more tired, or whatever--that's the key. For me that was THE LIGHTBULB moment. What I think Oprah calls her "a-ha moment." I was like, "She's right. I am not busier than her or getting less sleep or blah, blah, blah. And I could be her (i.e., shrinking everyday) if I behaved like her. THAT, my friend, is the difference. You are not just waking up skinnier everyday for no reason. You are earning it. I am waking up fatter everyday b/c I am not being consistent, making time and working hard. I want to be you so I have to act like you! I walked again at lunch today. It feels good and I am just going to take it a day at a time for now. I always put everything else above my needs. I am sure you all know what I mean--I have 40 minutes--I could use the treadmill or: do a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, vacuum, start dinner--whatever else you can think of. I need to make it as important as everything else. Bravo, Rachel!

Haley said...

Hello all --

First, Congrats Mrs. F -- you look great!

Also, quick comment from the peanut gallery -- haven't tried the calorie count website but I just joined a couple days ago and LOVE it. I hate keeping track of calories, but this site makes it pretty simple (and it tracks carbs, protein, fiber, calcium...whatever you want!). You also track your excercise, and join different "teams" -- I just joined the 10,000 steps a day for people with pedometers looking to move more. Oh yeah, and the whole thing is free. Anywho, just thought I'd throw that out there.

Mrs. Furious said...

Hey Haley,

Sparkpeople sounds like it might be pretty much the same deal as Calorie Count. I've always had my own email food diary system but I use the sites weight log and love looking at my weight loss graph. I'll go check it out so I can see which one is better to recommend. And thanks for the compliment :)
I often think about your post about wearing your flowy "with child" top and laugh since I of course have been wearing these and yet thinking of ridiculous it is since I've been desperately trying to not look pregs!

Mrs. Furious said...


Don't worry about it :)

Yeah I hear ya on the exercise versus things you need to do. Choose the exercise... it is hard at first and it is still a tight squeeze for me. You get the other stuff done, you will, and you'll actually have more energy and the whole self organization really does spread out to your surroundings. At first I just resented that I had to workout and that it counted as my only down time. But I thought about the fact that if I was watching TV to relax or whatever I really could be on the treadmill at the same time. It took a while but I don't mind that anymore. In fact I find the exercise to be a major mood regulator and I want to work out otherwise I start getting pissed off ;)

etbroderick said...

Yes! I agree--I know that when I take care of myself I have more energy and am much more productive in general so it's a win-win. I am dying to check out those sites--and thanks for the invite to the other blog--but tonight I have to pack for the Cape and I really must get to bed earlier. So hopefully tomorrow! Thanks! You have me feeling hopeful and excited.

katieo said...

You rock Mrs. Furious.
1) My kidlet is 11 months and has turned into an accident waiting to happen.
2) 118.8. I mean, wow. Way to go!
3) no muffintop on a size 6 = UH. MAZE. ING
4)"I'm never going to be *perfect* but I can strive for something better and I can actually believe that I am capable of looking and feeling better" AMEN.

I'm totally linking to you somehow this week. great post!

Mrs. Furious said...

Thanks Katieo!

As of today 117.2 even I am amazed.. I don't know how this is happening!

Jim Purdy said...

Thanks for sharing your story and your advice. Your attitude is terrific!

Mrs. Furious said...

Thank you Jim! :)

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