mathematics

migraine + hammering + sawing + drilling = hell

What The?!

"Ah! ah! ah!, I don't like it when he bites my nipples!"  Kid yells at the cat while getting dressed.


On the positive side... at least she doesn't like it... right?

Happy Mother's Day!

First, let me say that I love my kids.  I love that Kid can be so ernest.  (I love that Baby is first and foremost in love with sugar)  This Mother's Day was going to be a bit of a problem, not so much for me, but for Kid.  I knew she had *ideas* about what Mother's Day should be, and would be disappointed if she couldn't carry them out.  I also knew that she really, kind of, couldn't, without adult help, and with Mr F out of town... and her deep desire to *surprise* me... well, I was concerned.  First, you should know that Kid has only recently learned how to use the microwave, and the toaster is still a bit scary.  I tried to think of a way to help... and failing that, I tried to convince them we could go out to brunch (please, please, pretty please...) but to no avail (waa!).  Breakfast in bed is what Kid has written down as Mother's Day law, and ain't nothing going to break that!

So...

I was awoken this morning by Kid hissing through the door to Baby...

"Chars!  Get up!"

I took the opportunity to proclaim my desire to be left to sleep for another half an hour.

5 minutes later, the girls were in my room asking for my phone.

Apparently, when Mr F took them Mother's Day shopping, he did not tell them where he hid the gifts.

I explain that he won't be able to answer his phone, and give them all of my suggestions as to hiding spots.

I hear them, and I feel so badly for them, unable to find the presents and getting worried about a ruined Mother's Day.

(I'm also not so silently cursing Mr F)

I get up and go to the basement to help look.

On my way, I spy a plate of assorted old frozen waffles coated in a thick layer of butter.

While scary, I'm actually pleasantly surprised that Kid was able to scrounge that up, and am somewhat relieved that she found a way to pull off breakfast in bed, as I knew she had desperately wanted to.

After finding the gifts I am told to go back to bed.

Here I am waiting....

I look a little nervous... because I AM.

mmm.... can't wait.

The gingerbread waffle, I know, has been in there since Christmas.

Baby marches in with the sugar bowl...

Just in case the cup of syrup isn't going to be enough sweetener for my tastes.

Then Kid brings in the waffles....

Please look at her!  She's so proud of herself in that moment.

It is so heartbreakingly cute that I'm actually going to eat all of this...

and keep my face from registering shock at how cold they are.

(turns out she microwaved them a good half an hour before serving them...)

mmm.... yummy, yummy.

"Can I have a bite?" Baby asks after I am presented with my plate of cold-ish waffles soaked in a cup of syrup and topped with very generous squirts of whipped cream.

"Sure."  I say.

"That's what I'm having for breakfast!"  Baby exclaims happily.

"We aren't having any breakfast, Chars."  Kid whispers sternly.

(Hands down funniest line of the morning)

Then the girls leave to get the gifts and come back to my bed to present them.

"Here's my card."Baby says handing me a Mother's Day card.

"Oh!  We forgot to write in them!" Kid shrieks, snatching it from my hands.

"What is our problem?!" Kid whispers to Baby as they run down the hall.

(No, wait, that's the funniest line of the morning)

The end.  Next year, should we be Mr F-less on Mother's Day, remind me to hit a bakery the day before so the girls have something easy (and room temp) to plate up for me in the morning.