Wartime Negotiations

You know those days when for no apparent reason you wake up in opposition to your spouse?

You go to bed friends and wake up mortal enemies.


It often sounds like this...

"Could you please stop being defensive I'm just trying to ask you a question." I say.

"I'm NOT being defensive." He replies defensively.

"That sounds pretty defensive to me..." I mutter.

Do You See What I See?

What I see is FREEDOM!!!




It took us a year to come up with the money to fence in our yard... and sure... it cost more than twice what Mr F's car cost. And yes we emptied out what little savings we had accumulated since selling his Volvo... but it is worth it. Because as I thought more and more about it if we didn't have a fence one of these hooligans was going to get hit by a car and we'd have to empty out our emergency fund for an ACTUAL emergency anyway.

There is no amount of money that can buy the peace I feel being able to let the dog out or the kids go out and play without having to hover over them. Did I ever tell you that twice, on two separate occasions since we've lived here, crazy people have DRIVEN UP OVER THE SIDEWALK AND DOWN OUR YARD in order to bypass a slight a back up in the road? Or that our property has both front and back access to roads? Or that Canine routinely chases neighborhood cats out of our yard and into the road. Or that Baby has no danger judgement and will just walk right out in the road? Or that there is a weird man who walks along the sidewalk ,super slowly, playing an unplugged electric guitar?

People I needed this. I needed to be able to go to the bathroom, answer the phone, stir dinner... without having a freaking heart attack.

I'm Going To Get You Sucker

Over the last several weeks Mr F & I have purchased a few flats of annuals and many gallon sized perennials for our front "beds". And when I say bed I really mean huge gapping hole in our hedgerow where our neighbor/former owner OBVIOUSLY pulled out a mature shrub and tried to transplant it in front of his new house. ( I know this because mere weeks after moving in I saw a dead shrub of same variety and size out at his curb... so thankfully he got what he deserved).

Anyway.

We hadn't noticed the hole when we looked at our house because he had planted a whole mass of morning glories to mound up and fill it in. That looked okay when they were in bloom... but it looked like HELL in the late fall and winter.

So this Spring we bit the bullet and spent what we could afford on some flowers and hostas and I went to town on that hole and then planted some in front of the hedgerow too to make it all look intentional.

Hot damn if I didn't do a good job too... even if I did have to use a kids' shovel as a trowel.

Oh hello Mr Slug... aren't you a friendly little critter.

Fast forward about a week...

Why are all the petunias in front of the shrubs eaten down to the quick? Everything else looks good. What is eating them? It must be something close to the ground... a chipmunk?

A couple weeks later I notice that ONE of three of the same type of perennial is practically dead. Why is it dying? The other two of the same variety are doing fine. What are all those holes in the leaves of everything? Caterpillars?... Oh cute I love butterflies.

The next week...

Jesus that plant is on it's last legs! What the hell is going on?

This week...

What the fuck?! Seriously! I think it's dead.

That's when I saw the slugs. And two and two finally came together in an instant when I suddenly remembered an episode of Victory Garden I had seen... oh... about 18 years ago (What?! We didn't have cable). They were making beer traps to kill the garden pests.

Holy shit. I've got garden pests.

I run inside and look it up online. Then crafted my traps and lay them out.

But I couldn't walk away. They were EVERYWHERE! How had I not noticed this before? Maybe because of the daily torrential rains that have kept me indoors... and made the garden a moist wonderland for those slimy little buggars.

So I plucked off all the slugs I could see and drown them on the spot.

Then I went in and served dinner.

"How can you not be infuriated about those damn slugs?! They are killing all the plants we just bought!" I ask Mr F emphatically.

"I will be when it's true." He replies.

"When it's true?!!! It's happening!" I counter.

I could hardly get through dinner.

Postponing my workout I made a salt solution and went back out. I picked off every single slug I could see saying "Die suckers!" as I drown them in my salt water. The slugs were out in full force and their damage and presence was far more extensive than I had first assessed.

Oh the rage! Oh the fury!

Those goddamn little bastards!!

What was I going to do?!

I went in to workout and blow off some steam.

Then having read that they are most active at night I headed out with my flashlight... OH MY GOD... the hundred or so I had already slaughtered was nothing compared to what I saw at night. It is lucky I only have one phobia because this is not a job for the faint at heart. The one nearly dead plant was COVERED in them. Literally covered. And huge slugs were all over the place.

Tomorrow I am off for Escar-Go! Those mother fuckers are going down!

This Week The Plan

I have not forsaken you weekly plan!

For those of you wondering about my "less internet = more life" experience... here's what I have to say... Whoa it is a hell of a lot easier to keep the house maintained when I'm not taking mini computer breaks all day! For real. It's craziness. Who knew I actually had to time to clean up the breakfast dishes in the morning?!

As of this week I am allowed 1 hour of computer time on weekdays and 15 minutes on the weekend. I have a little digital kitchen timer that I start and stop when I go on. So far I haven't ever even needed the full time allotment. It is amazing how much I can get done in less time online when I just sit down and focus on what I'm doing. I also no longer check my email first thing in the morning. Now I go about my morning (dishes and all) and don't start my day with the computer. I find this removes the temptation to just "check" something. We're also completely shutting down the computers when not in use so I can't hear the little *ding* of incoming mail (because WHO can ignore that sirens call?!).

Onto the week (some of which is in retrospect)

Menu:

Sunday - pasta w/ peas & ham & parm

Monday - Chicken, black bean & corn saute w/ seasoned rice & cilantro

Tuesday - Orange & Honey glazed salmon, green beans & dill buttered egg noodles

Wednesday - Tomato & Meatball Soup

Thursday - Supermom's B'day party

Friday - Kid's Kindergarten Graduation dinner out

Saturday - bbq chicken sandwiches & coleslaw


Diet & Exercise:
A funny thing happened... I went shopping and tried on some clothes. While I really haven't been losing like I think I should... I could acknowledge that I both looked thinner and fitter in the clothes I was trying on. So something is working.
I'm still food journalling and sticking to a calorie limit. I am also working out about 6 days a week. In addition to walking to get Kid (which will end this week). I have been doing slightly shorter BUT more intense treadmill workouts and following it up with 15-30 minutes of pilates. I think I'm headed in the right direction.


That's what I've got for this week!


Oh wait one more thing...
I think this is a moderate improvement. Although I really HATE looking at the back of the other drapes! My next plan (also free) is to paint stripes on them with the leftover room paint. Stay tuned.... I'm sure you're riveted.

Productivity

Here are a sampling of things that I did while NOT on the computer this weekend.

Yes I filled them.


I used some scrap fabric and had Kid draw pictures on them for her teachers. Then I sewed them up with trim to make cute little pillows (turn your head... sorry about that sideways upload!). Cute, from the heart... and FREE.




More random sewing projects...
Finally corralled all the "dog" bags.

And while these are CERTAINLY nothing to write home about... and yes they are hung unevenly.... and haven't been ironed... and according to Kid look like a painter's cloth (ouch! but she is right) They do cover the windows (which you may recall look out at the screened in porch and the back of the outdoor window treatments) and that is a good enough improvement for now. I am going to embellish them with something... sometime.

And yes that "scrap" fabric was about 79 yards long.

And that doesn't even count finally unpacking my room (and cleaning it!) and hanging pictures on the walls.

And cleaning the kitchen... and reorganizing it so that one stretch of counter is not the "shit catchall" but now the home to both the coffee maker and the toaster. I think that will help.

Where It's At

The Moment You've Been Waiting For

What on Earth am I talking about? What's our great life altering experiment?

Where to start... it's actually pretty involved. But on Saturday night I gave a pretty passionate speech (if you will... Mr F never actually talks during our discussions) about the parts of our life we are letting slip past.

Not intentionally. In a sad sort of irony a lot of what we ARE doing is trying to hold onto where we are... but in so doing we are no longer living IN the moment.

And we're missing out... on a lot.

And in the process we're living with a lot more stress.

Completely unnecessary stress I might add. Self imposed, self created, stress... and chaos... and anxiety caused both by the combination of the two.

Is it possible that one small change (or large depending on how you look at it) could change all of that?

I think it is.

And surprisingly Mr F agrees (hey... I'm an excellent speech writer).


I want to be more PRESENT with the kids.

I want Mr F to be more PRESENT in our marriage.

Being in each other's presence isn't the same.

And it isn't enough.

An Experiment Is Underway

It's a big deal and it is going to change our lives.

Will we be happier?

Stay tuned.