Saturday, October 31, 2009

You Say It's Your Birthday

Happy Birthday To You!

more to come... Kid's still nude...

Friday, October 30, 2009

Bitch Fest Friday

You know what time it is...

Let it out.

Let it all out.

(It seems to me that doing this every week makes the week go faster.... no?)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thank You

Just want to quickly say that we have really appreciated all the comments in the last couple of days.  I'm sorry that I can't return them all personally, but want you to know that (as usual) this community of readers has been a great support to us.  Thanks so much for listening and actually caring about our life. It really does mean a lot and has gotten us (both of us) through some times that would have been really difficult if we felt alone in them (I don't know who checks my comments more... me or Mr F).  It is still amazing to us that there are people out there... people who know more and care more about our actual life than many of the people who are in our life (or are supposed to be). Really it's amazing and we never stop appreciating it.  

Mrs F

Licking Our Wounds

It isn't until I lay down at night and try to still my mind that the grief washes over me.

The disappointment.

I feel like I am being swept up in a strong tide only to realize in a moment of panic that it is a whirlpool.

And I don't have the strength or energy left to pull myself out.

To fight.

Yet I'm terrified of being pulled under.

To give in.

Isn't that natural?

What's down there?

Maybe it's peaceful, I wonder while trying to drift to sleep.

Maybe it's quiet and calm.

Maybe I should just let go.

What happens when you stop having dreams?

Maybe you stop getting hurt.

I don't know that I'll ever find out.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

And The Answer Is....


hmm... do we have a Plan C ?

Looks like we need to come up with one.

fuck it

you can start crying now Mom

Oh You Know You Can't Get Enough

With Kid's birthday right around the corner the in law situation (or complete lack there of) is on my mind.

I can tell you this... if they don't man up and call her on her birthday... I pretty much think that's inexcusable. They are fast approaching "dead to me" status.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Other White Meat

"Are you eating your boogs?" I ask Baby.

"Es my dinnah." Baby replies.


Oh What? You Thought I'd Have An Answer By Now?

I'm not sure what is going to happen first...

Getting an answer...


My mind imploding from the constant stress/pressure/excitement of waiting for an answer.

I am remaining grounded (ish). I am trying to think of all the negatives of even the most positive outcome (the only defensive mechanism I have left). There can always be a downside if you need there to be one.

More money?... we've grown so much from our financial struggles!

Full benefits?... who needs that!

You see? See how many downsides there are if you look hard enough.

No, seriously, there will be very real stress either way. Just new stress... which... might be somewhat lessened by being able to afford takeout again.

In other news I have NOT gotten all badass on myself. Yesterday, when I put on my jeans, Mr F actually said "Those look a little tight." Isn't it against the law for husbands to reveal that kind of honesty?! (It should be.) I blame the candy corn, Halloween M&Ms, fun size Twix, & peanut butter cups (WHAT?!!! there was a freaky sale). Well I'm over the candy. I had enough and I'm going on a candy free binge until ACTUAL Halloween. I pinkie swear.

I finished Kid's costume. And, ladies & gentlemen, it is all kinds of impressive. I have skipped the beading... since... Kid didn't notice there wasn't any... and who am I to remind her? That cut out HOURS of labor. I might even make Baby a matching costume with the extra ultra suede... or new couch pillows... it's kind of tough call.

And my Dad & his wife arrive on Thursday. And my Mom & her husband arrive on Saturday. I actually think that's a good arrangement. We just need to find appropriate beds for everyone. And try not to spend a gazillion dollars on food. I'll be putting on my thinking cap in regard to that today.

Oh and Kid's birthday is on Saturday and I need to start putting some kind of thought into that as well.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Apologizing 101

Step 1 Accept Responsibility

Step 2 Apologize

Step 3 Make Amends

Mr F and I just spent a good hour going over these points. And we weren't talking about teaching them to the kids. I suggested he just memorize the following statement:

"I fucked up. I am sorry. What can I do to make sure this doesn't happen again?"

It's really that easy.

Fortunately I'm never wrong so this doesn't apply to me.
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