Save Some For The Rest Of Us

"Did you eat a QUARTER of the cake?" Mrs F asks indignantly

"Umm... "Mr F mutters

"There was HALF a cake left last time I saw it last night." Mrs F says

"Well... not exactly half..." Mr F ventures

"Yes it was a HALF a cake.... I can see the lines... you took some off each side didn't you?... So you didn't have to deal with the fact that you ate a QUARTER of the cake." Mrs F insists

Mr F laughs nervously

"Do you know how many calories are in a QUARTER of a cake?" Mrs F asks more than slightly annoyed

"No" Mr F hesitantly replies

"A whole days worth!" Mrs F declares

Put Her Out Of Her Misery

Baby was up all night again crying.
I'm not 100% sure but I have a feeling she was up crying out of embarrassment over how badly her mom is getting her ass kicked in the polls.
So, people, you know what to do. Go HERE and place another vote for Mrs Furious. That's right you can place a new vote every 24 hours for the next 5 days... and God knows I need it.

Get Ready For This...

So I'm having one of those days... where I've pretty much been hitting the wall...all day! I have no idea why but I am EXHAUSTED today. And it isn't like anything was going on. Hell we even had a play date.. at someone else's house (meaning I didn't even have to clean)... and the mom made me lunch (and it was like 100x better than the Kashi bar I was going to eat). So why did I feel like I was going to pass out on my drive home? I was able to pull it together... barely... and made it through Kid's dance class and everything. I got home and ordered pizza, and waited for Mr F to get home.. and waited... and waited. I think I've said this before... every frickin' time I am barely still mobile at 5:30 Mr F comes home late. 6:00? no. 6:30? no. That's right folks Mr F came home an hour late at 7:00 PM on a freaking FRIDAY!!! He is lucky we were all still alive when he got here. I then practically buried my face in the pizza. I have never wanted to eat a whole entire pizza as much as I did tonight. God that pizza was so good I wanted to make out with it. I had THREE pieces.. and people... I still wanted more. Thank god for Orbit.. I was able to pop a piece and break the pizza cycle and move on. Then despite feeling like my legs were made of lead I put on my exercise attire. Well... first I checked out my sagging boob in the bathroom mirror and thought "goddamn it"...and then I put on my exercise attire. I still wasn't feeling it. I really only put it on because I said I would go for 6 days of cardio this week.. and well I'm a perfectionist. And there is always that hope that no matter how tired you are you'll catch a second wind if you just keep going. So with my clothes on I march into the dining room and do the only thing I know will motivate me... I announce to Kid "I think I feel it coming on!" Kid knew what to do...


After our photo shoot I did feel better... well.. a little. I managed to pump out 30 minutes, then I crumpled on the couch to finish yesterday's Grey's.

Ahhh... The Romance

"What's wrong with you.. your stomach hurts?" Mr F asks
"It's probably from looking at you." Mrs F replies

Get Out And Vote

The Polls are Open. I am in the Best New Blog category.

Whether I make you laugh, cry, or just plain feel better about yourself in comparison to my overall general craziness... now is the time to show Mrs F your support!

Click the "Best New Blog" link which should take you directly to your ballot.

Thanks! ... and I just checked and it looks like only Mr F & I have voted...so ... um... you know what to do!

Mrs F Goes Postal

What's That Mrs F?

Oh just my mother fucking outgoing mail...
You see it right? Clipped to the outside of my goddamn mailbox where you "can't miss it"!
Yeah.. well apparently today the mailman didn't.

"Oh.. no..that's okay...you can take that mail whenever the hell it is convenient for you.. it's not like it is my bills or anything!"

You Thought Mrs F Would Finally Relax?

Ha! You don't know Mrs F very well then. ;)
Kid's Birthday is over so why do I still feel mounting stress?
It couldn't be related to my current surroundings... could it?

Coincidence? I think not.

Wishful Thinking

"Maybe for your five year old birthday your gift to me could be learning how to put on your own underwear." Mrs Furious announces

Kid replies in a creepy deep voice "That will not come true."

Birthday Extravaganza... The Update

The morning started off with Kid peeking around the corner on her way downstairs and tentatively asking "5?". I concurred that she was in fact 5... and then she began chanting "I'm 5, I'm 5, I'm 5!". I could even hear her open the toilet lid and say "I'm 5" before she went potty. This is the first birthday where the age has meant something to her. Turning 5 to a preschooler is akin to turning 16 or 21. This is a BIG deal to her.

She started her morning with a little present opening.
She was pleased to receive "Cinderella" from her Grandad

Then we had a couple fresh baked Chocolate Croissants. Thank you very much Trader Joe's. These were un-freaking-believable... and only 320 calories. If you have a Trader Joe's near you... RUN there right now! Fantastic.


Kid figured since she was 5 she had graduated from preschool. I informed that she was wrong and dropped her off. Leaving me a LITTLE bit of time to decorate her cake. To be honest I'm not that pleased with how it turned out... but I was working with an obstacle...Like all younger siblings Baby is doing her best to trump Kid's birthday by not only walking but as of today waving as well.


I'm really trying to be less of a perfectionist and adopt a "good enough" is still good attitude. So with only one hour to decorate the cake this is it.. and let's be real... Kid is going to love it no matter how it looks.


After dinner we're going to go trick-or-treating leaving this stash unmanned...If there are any left I've decided I can have one of each for tomorrow.. that'll be 345 calories total. I still have cake for tonight ;)

Okay I'm off to go enjoy the Birthday Girl..

Shhhh.... Don't Tell Kid

Here is what Kid is getting for her Fifth Birthday

This cool... okay cool might be the wrong word... birthday ring.

Some new Calvin & Hobbes books and surprise surprise a Mythology book

Oh and this. Kid LOVES these figurines at the Hallmark store... and I'm not gonna lie I'm fond of them my own self!

Don't cry for her... she has received plenty of glittery plastic already and I'm sure there is more to come!

Name Calling

"Mom You're A MEANIE!!" Kid yells
"I'm not mean... you're crazy" I retort under my breath ...kind of ;)

This Week The Plan

Okay... here we go

Last week was pretty much a blur with all the party planning and costume making. I still have to make Kid's birthday cake and get her treats for her school party but it is all pretty manageable so I am surprisingly not too stressed.
I can't even remember what last week's menu was.. I do know I thawed some salmon that I never got around to making ...the throwing out of food seems to be creeping back in on a fairly regular basis so I'm hoping to get a little more serious with this week's plan. Also I've been eating like shit for the past week... after Wednesday I'm getting rid of all the candy and no more cake! Not only is my weight up 2 pounds but I am bloated and feel terrible... (could it be that I forgot to drink water all weekend?!?)
I've also been kind of slacking off with the exercise. I did meet my 3 hours of cardio goal but that is really not where I want to be at. I'm still shooting for ultimate fitness so I'd like to see double that when possible.
Enough blabbing.. here is my plan:

Menu:

Monday - Salmon Noodle Casserole & applesauce

Tuesday - Shrimp & Vegetable Fried Rice

Wednesday - Pork Tenderloin w/ green beans & rice pilaf

Thursday - Beef Stew

Friday - Pizza Night

Saturday - Go out

Sunday - Leftover Stew


Exercise:

I'm shooting for three 60+ minute sessions on Monday, Saturday & Sunday. I'd also like to do three 30 minute interval sessions on Tuesday, Thursday & Friday. Usually I walk and alternate my incline every 1.67 minutes from 0% to 8% incline. For the intervals I am going to alternate 1.67 minutes at 12% incline with a longer rest of 3.33 minutes at 0% incline. I actually did this for the full hour tonight... so I'm probably going to be a little sore tomorrow! Hey I'm an overachiever what can I say?

Cleaning:

The good news is my house is really clean from the party :) I just need to do the laundry.

Extra crap:

Write thank you notes w/ Kid (should be fun)

Make crazy cake with the "teen doll" in it (I'm not using the recommended pan so this should also be fun)

Update Kid's Memory Book ( I write down all her funny quotes and I need to compile them and also give the general overview of where she is at developmentally and what she is like.... so there is a little bit of pressure involved with this)

Lookey Here

My Porn Has Arrived!
And yes this is the coveted Holiday Preview Edition!

So Mrs F How Crazy Are You?

Pretty damn crazy.
I've added a new sidebar listing my current anxieties.
Sure I did it just to be funny... but now I'm realizing this could be a very effective tool. Maybe if I have to actually LOOK at the things that are eating me up inside I might be more likely to start making changes that will allow me to remove these things from my list.
I am going to start with calling Disney ... RIGHT NOW!!!

In Case You Were Wondering...

I am exhausted. The party was great and went off without a hitch. It helps that we were VERY selective with the invites and kept it to *good* kids only!
FYI the "treasure hunt" in the backyard (pennies and Hershey's kisses tossed on the lawn) was a BIG hit.
Without further ado... MEDUSA

Now tell me those wings are not bad ass!
Big props go out to my mother for the bad ass Medusa wig.... (mop head wired with pipe cleaners spray painted grey, rhinestone eyes, tongues cut from rubber bands)


The little tiger decided to take her mobility to the next level and made seven consecutive steps... ending with her head colliding into the coffee table (ouch). It is funny how differently I view Baby's developmental milestones versus Kid's when she was a baby. Everything Kid did was somehow a reflection on me in my eyes. I would have thought Kid walking at 8 and 1/2 months was a sure sign of her intellectual superiority (and mine!)... with Baby I just see it as a sure sign that she will probably be needing some stitches in the near future.