On The Plus Side She's Artistic

Minus Side?... She's kind of obsessed with male anatomy.

Bitch Fest Friday

You know what to do.

I Don't Know What It Is (scratch that... I do know exactly what it is)

I'm feeling a bit lackluster and tired.

The time change is kicking my ass for one thing.

And we're coming off of a week of guests. Which was great.... but... meant a lack of personal downtime and that starts to add up and ramp up the exhaustion factor.

Especially since there was the all night babysitting gig thrown in there. I haven't recovered. And it isn't that I'm not used to being woken in the night. I haven't had more than a 3 or 4 hour stretch of sleep in 7 years (LITERALLY PEOPLE). It had more to do with my nervousness about it not being my baby. In the end I just couldn't sleep because I was waiting to be woken up. (Oh and I did not get paid extra by the way!)

So it is with great pleasure that I announce that we are driving to the beach TONIGHT. We've got a comp hotel for two nights and Kid happens to have tomorrow off. So we're hitting the road after I'm done babysitting tonight and meeting up with Kiki and her family tomorrow! We're all very excited to have a little mini vacation and to take a breather... reorganize our minds... and brainstorm some life solutions on our drive down and back. (It is REALLY nice to have a dvd in the car... it allows for HOURS of adult conversation up in the front seats!)



P.S. Have no fear Bitch Fest Friday will go up as scheduled!

P.P.S. I'm leaving my computer AT HOME.

I Could Try And Come Up With Something To Say...

but I'll spare you.


I'm pricing Disney trips... for real this time... not just for therapy.

More on that later.


P.S. No we haven't lost our minds (or won the lottery)... it's a *sponsored* trip. My mom is trying to ensure I don't kill myself before Christmas.

It's Amazing How Much Weight You Can Gain In One Week

To put things in perspective I'm still full... from yesterday.

I blame the candy corn.

And the pumpkin bread.

And the family in town who took us out to eat... EVERY DAY.

And the not working out due to said family.

Unfortunately, history tells me, it will take at least 3 weeks to reverse the process.

Never before have I wanted to do one of those fasting cleanses. NEVER!

But, today, waking up full... the very site of food disgusting me... I'd almost do it.

Instead I'll just drink a couple of cups of coffee.

Maybe it will have the same results.

#1 Person On My Hit List...

The Teacher


Oh this post could be filled with nothing but sailor talk but I will try and restrain myself.
People! People! I can hardly sit still enough to type this.

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!


Okay.

Today is Monday. Today was supposed to be Kid's birthday day at school since her birthday was on Saturday.

Fine.

At school last year this consisted of the birthday child's parents coming in the morning and taking part in circle time which centered around the birthday kid. Sharing wishes for the upcoming year and baby pictures. You also send in a *special* snack for their snack time.

This year the teacher gave us no idea what was included or when the birthday *time* would be.


Last night we ended up having to drop my car off at the repair shop. So I don't have a car. I also have 3 kids who need carseats. And NO car.

Three kids.... no car.

Okay.

I call the teacher and leave a message explaining the situation and asking if we could bump her fake birthday to Tuesday (also still fake).

I also sent her an email restating the situation and asking if we could celebrate on Tuesday.

I am sure that this effects the lesson plan (a bit) for the morning and knew (from experience) that this teacher needs LOTS of time to process new information... but.... come on! ... I don't have the means to get there.

No response.

Matt assures me NO ONE would make us do this... there is no reason that she wouldn't bump the celebration. If Kid had been sick they would have bumped it.

Okay.

7:59 AM THIS MORNING she sends an email...

"I'm sorry I could not return your call last night. It was my father's
birthday so I was at a family dinner. We have our centering
time blocked off today for Ruby's celebration but we can certainly postpone
the special snack until Tuesday. She can have a two-day extended
celebration :-)"

Um... how is that helpful?

So... I don't have a car... but I need to come into school TWO DAYS IN A ROW?!

And now it was 8:00 and I had to scramble to pull everything together. I don't even know if I'll have the car back on Tuesday (I just won't be babysitting as well... yes.... I have to bring the baby to this). I don't want Kid to go to school and have no one present at her centering so I make it work. I also pull the snack together... because... there is no way in Hell I'm doing this twice. Mr F's car can't actually fit us all. And we can't get Baby's carseat in there safely.

My mom is in town visiting and she (assuming she could eat breakfast at a normal pace) then had to drop everything and rush across town to try and get to our house to help transport all the kids to school. Even with her car we only just fit everyone in. And it was stressful. And unnecessary.

Then I call the teacher. I want to make sure she knows that if we're coming for centering I'm also sending in the snack. (seriously what was the point of that?).

"I just wanted to let you know that we're doing the snack today too."

"Oh? I don't understand."

"It wasn't the snack that was difficult... I don't have a car... it was the getting there that was going to be hard."

"Oh. Well we can certainly do the whole thing on Tuesday." (WTF?!!!!)

"We have it all set now. We'll just come today."

I wanted to kill her. I had just spent a crazed 45 minutes trying to prepare baby pictures, snacks & install carseats. I had to get Baby & the baby ready. I had to make lunch for Kid. And now, NOW, it would be okay to postpone it?!! The fact that I called the night before and said I didn't have a car wasn't reason enough? What the hell is going on with this woman?!

My mom, her husband, Matt & I all had visions of pitchforks in our heads as we sped off (late) for school this morning.

And the birthday centering was nice... but... it was TEN MINUTES. It could have easily been ANY day. And half the class (literally) was absent and missed her special day anyway.

Then (with the baby starting to fuss) the centering circle was over and lessons began. No excusing us. No telling us what happens next... just a lesson. There are 6 of us standing there (fussing) wondering what we should do. I started packing the baby up. Still no acknoweledgement. So I said "Should we go now?". The teacher looked up and said that they do this lesson and then math and then have the *special* snack at 10. But she didn't say what that even meant. Do we need to hand it out? That would be 45 minutes away. Are we supposed to mill around (fussing) for 45 minutes just to stand around while they eat pineapple? Last year the teachers served it, and since there had been no discussing of what we should expect... I did not expect that the morning would last for an hour and a half. I highly doubt many other parents will be able to spend that kind of time in the classroom. What was even the point? To watch the lessons? Or serve the snack? If the snack is so important than why don't we bump it up to follow centering... or move the birthday centering to snack time?

Mr F needed to go to work... but... he can't because he needs to drive half of us back home.

Kid seemed happy with her centering. I said "Well... I think it will be hard for us to make it that long. I think we need to leave but enjoy your snack."

That's when the assistant teacher (whom I've always liked) smirked and mumbled "Yeah I don't know why that would be hard for you with two babies."

Now That Was Interesting

On top of everything else... birthday... family staying over... Halloween...

last night I agreed to babysit the little baby so his mother could go out.

He came over at 9 PM and was supposed to stay until 12 AM. I know a lot of you would not do that... but... what the heck I knew I'd be up anyway. Well, she called at 12 and asked if he could stay the night and if she could get him in the morning. I agreed to that too. If you are calling to ask that... I figure that is what is best for the baby. I don't want her driving, driving with him, or even taking care of him if she's wasted.

Well... long story short I got NO sleep. I slept on the couch with him in and out of his carseat trying to rock it with one hand like a cradle and wishing there was a way I could sleep while doing so.

There wasn't.

I'm freaking exhausted.

She better pay me extra.