Friday, October 4, 2013

Life (you've missed so much...)

I don't think I ever did an August recap (or September).  Sometimes when I'm driving down the road (which despite my original intentions I'm back at.... even more than last year!!!!), I think about blogging and when I might or what I might share and then I am back in the car going the other direction, or carefully packing raspberries in little lunch containers, or checking homework (slash foraging homework as necessary!... oh, please, you know you've been there), or trying to find goggles for swim lessons, or working out, or writing the world's longest run-on sentence... and it just didn't happen... AGAIN.

But today is the day.  Kid and I are both home sick with some bizzaro stomach bug that only causes intense stomach pain for days on end. (throwing up would be a relief at this point, believe me)  I did watch this entire BBC series though. I got it at the library.  In case you are riveted by our viewing habits, Mr F and I are also watching Hell On Wheels on the nights when we can manage it between dishes and my trying to go to bed by 10:45 rule. I dig it.  It's not quite as good as Justified (in terms of spectacular characters) but it's pretty good (and more Mormon friendly, fyi Katieo).  And, when you don't have TV service you just can't be quite as picky about what you are going to watch.  I'm also working out to Extreme Weight Loss ... where has this show been all my life?!?!  It is fantastic.  Plus, it's 90 minutes which is exactly how long I'm working out, so it is perfect for me. Plus, I love working out to weight loss shows for the obvious motivational reasons.

As for weight loss.... yeah... I'm not sure.  I haven't weighed myself in awhile but I am definitely fitter and I think there is a lot of stuff up with my hormones and metabolism and I just am taking this one step at a time.  Working out consistently is my #1 focus and I am doing that and reestablishing it as a habit and I don't want to worry about my weight loss or diet portion of this until I am several months into working out consistently.  When I expect too much from myself is when I start to sabotage myself.  I'm doing unusually well in the workout department and am not being crazy.  I have at least one weekday when something comes up and I can't do it and I am just letting it go.  This is ground breaking for me.  The next step will be trying to figure out what my daily calorie burn really is so I can figure out what I would need to eat to lose weight.  I have a feeling this is shockingly below what I am used to.  And while I do not eat a ton, I think the perimenopause has killed my metabolism and I probably need to eat 1200 calories a day (maximum!!!) like on a DAILY FUCKING BASIS.  And eating 1500-1700 (which is more normal for me & previously allowed me to LOSE weight) is not only not going to help me lose weight it is why I have been slowly gaining weight for three years.  Even with the working out for 90 minutes, my fancy Up Jawbone bracelet only puts my daily burn at around 1500-1600.   WITH THE FUCKING WORKING OUT.  So, you know, that is kind of an aha moment for me in terms of why everything has been so hard.  If I'm eating 1700 calories and I'm burning 1500 (with the goddamn exercise included) I'm not going to lose any weight.  I'm going to still slowly gain.  Which explains why everything I've tried to do (Paleo, 5:2, working out, etc, just hasn't had any real effect). Still.  Right now I'm 100% focusing on making working out as close to a daily routine as possible.  Forever.  For the rest of my goddamn life.  This is real.  Maybe in November I'll start developing a real eating plan that averages out to 1200 calories/day.  I hate to do it.  But I think that is real, too.  Forever.  For the rest of my goddamn life.


More updates SOON-ish.  And, no, Kid did not switch schools.  It's a long story.  But it comes down to no kid (EVER) wanting to switch schools mid-year and leave a good social network to start over as a new kid... especially when they've already been to 3 elementary schools (not counting homeschooling) and they are only in 5th grade.  And as a kid who also switched schools every one to two years between K and 8th grade I know EXACTLY how she feels and want her to feel she has some control over her own life.  We have all agreed that this is the LAST year that she'll be attending the Lutheran school.  It really is a great social setting for her (I don't think we could do better) but the academics are still an issue and we know middle school just takes it up 10 more insane notches and that is just not something we can live through.  6th grade (can you believe it?!!) will be an easier transition time since quite a few kids leave to start middle school elsewhere.  It is also a good time to start at the charter school and allows her to start at the beginning of the year into a 6-7-8 mixed classroom setting (only 18 kids a class) and that will better suit her academic placement than coming in academically ahead in a 4-5 mixed classroom.  The bonus is that she'll be able to get more comfortable with the charter school this year when we attend different school events for Baby and it won't be so unknown and weird for her next year.  We are also going to work really hard to establish outside-of-school friendships with her Lutheran school friends so that we can hopefully keep them going after she leaves that school.

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