Updates... Of All Kinds

I've probably gained a good 5 pounds in the last two weeks due to my Chex Mix intake. 5 o clock happy hour with cocktails and appetizers is NOT good for the waistline when you are also NOT exercising and have resumed your Cherry Coke addiction to boot.
Maybe tomorrow I'll give it all up and get back on track.
Maybe not.


I sent in the RSVP today. You know the one. It's official... we're not going. While I still have mixed feelings I am confident that that is the right decision.


I lost my sunglasses THE VERY FIRST DAY I GOT HERE. Of course, Target no longer makes them and only had a whole bunch of crazy over the top Nicole Richie glasses to choose from. I now look like this...
And, yes, I know they look completely ridiculous. And I realize that for the rest of eternity I am going to cringe at our summer '09 pictures because of them. But, I swear to God, they were the only ones that suited my face shape.


That's it for now.

And Then Just Like That It's Over

We finally got back in our marital groove... and then... boom... it's over.

Mr F flies out at the crack of dawn.

While I'm really happy that the girls and I get the opportunity to stay, and see the rest of my extended family over the next couple of weeks, this trip has been long. And exhausting.

And

I'm really nervous about the long trip back... now that I know how badly the trip up went.

I mean extremely nervous.

That trip up almost killed me.

It took a good week and half to recover from the stress and lack of sleep.

Next year we're flying.

I Think "Extreme" Is A Subjective Term

Hilariously a woman contacted me in response to an old YouTube video.

She said...

"I work with a nationally syndicated talk show that is looking for families affected by extreme hoarding. If you and your family are interested please call me"

Adjustment Period

The neighbors' secured their wireless network. I've got some posts lined up... but I will not be able to return comments (even less often than I have been this trip) reliably (if at all). But keep them up... I do read them... and sometimes it's my only connection to the outside world!

Things are not going as well as I had hoped. Mr F is here and I was really looking forward to seeing him. Unfortunately I kind of forgot how hard it is for me to switch over from fiercely independent, hyper functioning, wonder woman to Mrs F... married to Mr F... who has ADD.

Which he has not been treating.

As evidenced by his maddeningly irresponsible behavior.

As I said to him last night... "Either you are the biggest passive aggressive asshole on planet Earth or you have ADD. Which one? Go get your damn medication refilled."

It's pretty typical for people on medication to think that they don't need it anymore... you know... because things are going so well.

It couldn't be that THE MEDICATION WAS ACTUALLY WORKING could it?

I do get it. I get that no one wants to need medication to function.

But Mr F is not one person living in isolation. He's in a marriage and a family. How he functions affects all of us.

And a decision about whether or not he is going to discontinue treatment is a decision that needs to be made TOGETHER.

In the two days before he came here he slept in and forgot to take Canine to the groomer (also went to work late), didn't take Canine to the boarder on time, and MISSED HIS FLIGHT. That's just two days... and just the things I know about.

So instead of a nice peaceful week together... things... have... been...

difficult

and

disappointing.

People who don't live with adult ADD can't understand how stressful it can be. At times I feel like I'm living with someone with dementia. Other times I feel like I have another kid. It's frustrating for both of us. I want to have an actual partner who I can trust. Mr F means well but he is not reliable.

When we're separated things often get a little worse. Mostly because I realize how much easier it is for me to function without the ADD in my everyday. I don't know. It's hard to explain. But I imagine for a normal family being separated and having to deal with your kids on your own, without a break, 24 hours a day would be harder than it is to live life with two parents present. And for me it's the opposite. And, so, when I have to deal with everything and the ADD I start to resent it, because I've had a taste of what it would be like without it.

And, truthfully, that's scary for both of us.

Being away from it, having a break from every little way it permeates my day to day life only makes it all the more obvious, and annoying, when we're back together.

Mr F has promised to call the doctor when he gets back and to get his medication refilled before I come home.

He's also promised that the next time he decides to go off his medication he will actually discuss it with me first.(And he'll be prepared for the divorce papers he'll be receiving shortly thereafter)

I now know why things have been a bit more out of control... and that does make it a bit easier for me to bear. For there to be an explanation for why things are worse... not that we've all just lost our minds in the last month. And with that there is hope that things can get better again.

Game Face

Playing Tourist

Today we went HERE. You'd probably be surprised to learn that the world's largest moving sand dune is here in Michigan. That first picture in the slideshow is of the main dune climb. Those dots are people. We did it. You can't get the scope from the pictures but the climb is so steep that on the way down you can't see the bottom and have the sensation that you might be running off the edge of a cliff. You pick up so much speed on the way down that people actually lose control of their limbs and end up taking a face plant or two. Kid lost control about 5 times but she didn't let it stop her... she just dusted off and started back down. Baby refused to walk on the sand (an added workout for Mr F on the way up) and I risked my life holding her while running down. I nearly broke my ankle.


Mr F has pictures to come ...

Reunited

Living The Life

10:10 PM Empire, Michigan

Kind Of Wanting To Kill Myself

I was kind of keeping hush hush the fact that there was a job opening at the magazine here in Traverse City. This is a job opportunity that we had been keeping our eye on for EIGHT years. It never opened. We've always wanted to move up here but there is literally only one job opportunity that would allow us to make that move. This one.

A couple weeks ago, right before I left town, Mr F let out a gasp as he was doing his usual job search (always a good idea to keep our options open). After YEARS this coveted position had finally opened up. Even better? He was coming out here to visit us anyway and getting to an interview would be easy peasy.

Meant to be? Yeah that's what I thought.

As much as I am getting settled in Asheville it is not where I want to live. And, honestly, with our current cost of living it is always going to be a bit of a struggle.

You know where's a really cheap place to move to in this economic crisis? The place with the most tanked housing market?

Yep. Michigan.

Yada yada yada... I could tell you how much I'd like to live here. I could go on and on. Just imagine that place you always fantasize about living at... that's Traverse City for me.

Well yesterday Mr F called to tell me that he spoke with the editor in Traverse City... and... the job had been filled.... yester-freaking-day!

So today when I drove into the city it was no longer a drive filled with hope and promise. But instead a drive filled with agony and well... a bit... of heart break. Everything seemed perfect. And better. And CLEANER. And well planned and carried out. The donuts were... well... donut-ier. Seriously. As Kid said "You forget how delicious they are until you are eating them, and then you remember all the times you had them." Indeed. Michigan cider donuts just are better than any other donut. Period. The strawberries I got at the stand were better than any other strawberries I'd ever had. They were like jam. They were ridiculous and we ate them under a perfectly blue sky dotted with white clouds, the tall ship sailing around the Bay in front of us. And I kind of wanted to cry.

As hard as moving is and as much as I would hate the actual process...

We could have had a house ON THE ACTUAL WATER for less than our house in Asheville.

Okay not a lot less. But still... less. By like $5...it still counts. It was still a glorious dream.

Oh well... back to Assville at the end of the month.

Damn it.

A Look Inside

Wondering exactly what it's like "Up North".
Probably not what you are envisioning.

The cottage lies on a strip of land between Lake Michigan and a smaller inland lake. You drive down a wooded private drive to get here. (It used to be really secluded feeling but a few years ago a bunch of rich assholes from Chicago bought up several tracks of land near us and put up a whole bunch of appallingly large summer homes and tore up the woods. They even put in a elevator so they don't have to climb up the dune to their house. I'm just sayin'... We hate them.)

When I was growing up we had a dock and boathouse on the little lake and would catch minnows and turtles. My grandfather had a pontoon boat and would take us all out there with his cocktail in hand and drive us around before dinner.

Now some new assholes moved in next door and are real sticklers about their property line... so... the boathouse was torn down and the dock is kind of falling apart. (Okay enough complaining)

Well when my grandparents built their cottage in the mid 60s this little house was on the property. We call it the boathouse and that is where the girls and I are staying. Up here specifically. The only downside is this...

and this...

and this...

The main house
is a showplace for my grandfather's eccentric collection of big game taxidermy, art, and random stuff. Baby calls it the "Animal House". If you think of the whole Max & Erma's, TGIFs, & Applebee's decor scheme as an actual style then my grandfather invented it. It's kind of intense. Surprisingly the kids aren't afraid.


It's also pretty safe to say that I'm probably one of the only people who's had to say (well in this century anyway) to their two year old "No, no, no.... that's not for kids... that's not safe!" upon finding them holding a rusty bayonet.

The extended family has gone back to their respective homes for the rest of the week. The girls and I are hanging with The Cougar until their return (and Mr F's arrival on the 11th!) and trying to catch our breath... well... I'm trying to catch my breath... I"m hoping they'll catch some ZZZs.

Happy Fourth! (a holiday retrospective)

The weather has been pretty cool since we got up here... but yesterday was perfect. Beautiful cloudless sky while still breezy enough to keep the sun from melting us into the sand. We spent a good part of the day down at the beach... thankfully the water is cold enough that I don't have to worry about Baby running in and drowning herself (that's the one good thing about the frigid water).

Then we had a big dinner out on the deck overlooking a magnificent sunset. Well... the other people did. I ate inside at a small game table trying to keep the dog from eating Baby's ribs. Once it was dark we enjoyed a pretty decent fireworks display put on by my younger sister and her boyfriend. Well... the other people did. I sat inside holding Baby's ears. It was fun.

My mom made some fantastic corn pudding: 1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin mix, 2 eggs, 1 c sour cream, 1 stick butter, 1 can corn (drained), & 1 can of creamed corn. Blend. Bake in greased dish at 350 for 1 hour. Seriously... Yum. Very much like the corn pudding at 12 Bones. Sometimes she puts in a can of diced green chilies.

Also I've been introduced to a new cocktail. It's an alcoholic Arnold Palmer (which I'm not sure what you would technically call since the whole point of an Arnold Palmer is that it's non-alcoholic). Anyway, my sister-in-law arrived up here with lemonade and Sweet Tea flavored vodka. Burnett's Sweet Tea flavored vodka to be exact. Is it just me or is the sweet tea craze going a little far these days? I had my initial doubts but in this instance it is worth it. It was delish and refreshing and perfect for my light weight drinking ways... and there was none of the malty aftertaste of say a Mike's. Look into it.

Now You See It Now You Don't

wink wink

Could It Be?!!!

I have been lamenting the fact that I don't have an internet connection and in order to give you all an update (as much as I'd like to) I'd have to cajole Baby back into her car seat. For now that just isn't happening. Unbelievably as I sat down to add up our trip expenses in the living room I saw that I had access to someone's wireless network. Who knows how long this will last. I'm going to try to spit it all out as quickly as possible.

After we last spoke (so to speak) I had our final leg of driving. That morning Baby screamed and writhed for TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES (you know full well that I am not exaggerating) while I tried to wrestle her into her carseat. That is not easy... in case you didn't know. You can't just buckle them down... they have to actually be in the right position to latch everything. By the time I was done I was covered in sweat and in a pretty terrible mood. She was so hysterical that eventually our old neighbor (that we liked to call The Colonel due to his immaculate lawn featuring a large flagpole) actually came out to see what on Earth was going on.

I wish that had been the end of it. But it wasn't. I had to go grocery shopping, and visit one more friend, each stop requiring yet another forceful carseat throwdown. Finally she gave in and we made our 4.5 hour trek up to the cottage in relative peace and quiet.

I'm not going to lie, for the majority of this trip, I have wanted to buckle her in and turn back for home. Things have not been easy... on her... or me. I've had to put in long haul trucker like road hours with one hand handing out Teddy Grahams and the other changing DVDs. All with almost NO sleep. It's been hard for me to keep my cool day in and day out while still having my buttons pushed (hard) by Baby. Kid, on the other hand, has been perfect... thank you, God.

When we arrived up here only The Cougar was here. That was perfect. Baby had recently seen the cougar when she and my mother came down so there was still some familiarity there. Part of the problem for Baby is that we keep walking into a houseful of eager strangers. That and staying in the attic room in PA with the legitimately scary shadows (for real... she said they looked like Monster fingers and I was like... word to that.) Plus the complete lack of ability to foresee an end to her suffering... after day 2 of driving I think Baby pretty much felt like tossing me an f-bomb and declaring me a liar. You know, like if you call this shit a vacation I'm going home. And who could blame her?

Baby did wake up the first night in our new digs screaming, as has become her signature, but last night she slept pretty peacefully. I think there is hope that she is getting adjusted and if we just stay out of the car for a couple days she might regain hope that we haven't in fact become gypsies (so much for my dream of RV living).

That's all for now. I've got pictures and family dynamics to report on soon! I'm hoping I"ll still have this connection at least through the weekend (assuming it's coming from the neighboring cottage).

Hope all is well with you and that you enjoy the long weekend (the American readers anyway).

And We're Off ... Take 4

Baby did it again.

Wake up in the night screaming and running around in a dark confusing new space tripping and whimpering "I scared".

My presence doesn't seem to help her.

Sorry Angie!

Ann Arbor Blogging

We made it. The 10 hour car trip was infinitely better with my niece in tow to change movies and hand out snacks. Baby is still out of sorts and off her rhythm. I'm really hoping things even out once we settle in to our cottage and she can get used to the place. Right now she just wants to go home and says things like "I scared" and "no people". She's just overwhelmed by the number of strangers I think. Today we had a playdate with Kid's oldest *best* friend. They were very happy to be reunited after so long apart. Tonight were staying at Neighbor Angie's. Baby does seem relieved to finally be amongst the under 4 set... and...their toys.

It Was Everything I Hoped It Would Be

Yesterday when we were driving to the amusement park we drove through a small Pennsylvania town. Right in the center of town I saw an Amish buggy road sign. My heat skipped a beat. My niece and I started scanning the area... we didn't have to look far.

I noticed that immediately ahead of us was a courting buggy being driven by a young man and his two sisters. A couple of cars were in front of us but they took their first opportunity to pass them. Fortunately for me once I was behind them we couldn't pass and we got to follow them for a bit.

Once we did pass them we came upon another buggy!
Believe me... I was FREAKING out. This is the closest I've ever actually been to the Amish. It was incredibly fulfilling.

Even Kid, knowing the importance of such a sighting for me, was beaming!




This almost made up for the pure hell Baby has been putting me through since we left.

The Quiet Before The Storm aka Same Story Different Day

This was taken right before she unbuckled herself and started to "get out!".

And NO they didn't stop the ride in time.

Things You've Missed

nighttime tag...

watching me impress the kids with my Twizzler twirling skills...

And On The Third Day...

She rested.

No driving today.

And for that reason alone it was a relatively good day.