Remember All The Difficulty I Had With This?

I never did end up showing you my finished Fall mantel display. I ended up getting more flowers and things looked a lot better. (I know this is RIVETING... it's all I've got time for today... so cut me some slack).
Well I have now encorporated some Halloween decorations (which we have lots of since Kid's b'day is Halloween). Those are framed photos from Kid's babyhood (don't tell Baby.. she thinks they are of her).
Anyway, our house is looking pretty awesome right now. We haven't bought any new decorations since we moved here. We've got some things that we all really love and this year Baby has been busy making her own Halloween crafts. We've got enough to bring a little touch of Halloween to most of our rooms. I just love the way a few decorations can turn the energy of the house up a notch. Everything just seems more funky and festive and cozy. Bring Christmas on. Bring it.

Now I just have to sew up a Native American costume for Kid... complete with beadwork... that will be fun.

Bitch Fest Friday

Hey this seems to be working for everyone so I'm going to keep it going.

Have at it.

Are Words Even Necessary?

"I could die happy right now." Mrs F says to Mr F

"You don't even understand... it's no longer a fantasy... it's a possibility." She continues emphatically, goofy grin plastered over her face.

"No it's not." Mr F replies.

Baby Dracula

It might be one week early but with those fangs Baby can pull together a perfect costume at moments notice. A little trickle of fake blood... and ... she's good to go.

I can't make it a full day without looking at her affectionately and saying "Hey little vampire!".

I wonder what will be more expensive shaving down those canines or reigning in Kid's emerging beaver teeth?

Something tells me the beaver.

Don't worry Kid can't read.

What Have I Done??!

Why do I always do this stuff to myself?!! WHY??!!! WHY???!!!

Okay, so yesterday as I was waiting to pick up Kid from school her friend's mom showed up. I started talking about her birthday and our party plans. It turns out the friend's birthday is one week later. Kid wants a gymnastics party at a local gym. It is a bit more money than we'd like to spend but we didn't give her a party last year... so it's still cheaper than two parties ;)
As we were talking I said...

"Don't suppose you want to go in on the party?"

Dumb. Dumbity dumb dumb dumb.

I was thinking... HALF THE COST. I wasn't thinking that I would receive a huge long email manifesto about how they do birthday parties at midnight last night.

Note to self... do not check email before bed!

I couldn't sleep. It was stressing me out. This was a terrible idea! Saving 70 bucks wasn't worth this kind of aggravation!

So I got back up and responded. I tried to stand firm on that fact that I was just wanting a simple (SIMPLE) birthday party. Some cake, some pink paper plates... done. Seriously that is all I was going to do. It is actually important to me that just having a party at the gymnastics gym is ENOUGH for Kid. We save *special* for her birthday at home with us.

This is the email I received...
"We had a family discussion and it looks like we would like to share birthday parties, if that is still alright.
So how to do this? I have never planned a big party with someone else before, so I guess I will ask questions and talk about some of our traditions/desires that we are by no means married to.

-[Friend] usually does not get gifts from friends. Instead she asks friends to bring non-perishable food items for the foodshelf (as many as she is old) and we make a delivery together and volunteer for the afternoon. What do you think about that? Is this something that you guys might go for? I am sure [Friend] could live with getting gifts (ha), but it (the foodshelf) is a fun thing to do.
-[Friend] usually has an animal theme, this year she wanted it to be pandas. We could easily combine themes if you had something in mind. I have typically used the theme as a guide for goodie bags and some decorations. Again we are open to whatever.
-[Friend] and I usually make invitations together, usually a drawing she does of her animal theme. It might be cool to get them both to draw something for it. I would be happy to put it together and mail it out.
-She wanted to have a cake from Short Street Cakes
-I am really into low-waste parties. Perhaps together we could rally for reusable plates, decorations, cups, etc. again I am in no way attached.
-I am also really into handmade parties as well. I am sure I can trade for many decorations and favors on etsy.
-Are you thinking that we would invite the whole class (that was my thought), are there folks outside the class that you would invite? [Friend] has two/perhaps three kids that she wanted to invite. How many children can we invite?
-Oh yes and what are the details that you know about the rental-cost of the rental, time for set up, number of children allowed?
And... how do you want to go about figuring this all out? Is e-mail the best way? Should we sit down and figure it out detail by detail (that is what I am thinking). I am really open to over communication rather than under. I want to make sure that you feel like we are being fair and we are both having our needs met."

It is not that there is anything wrong with what they want to do. In fact I commend them for it. But, PEOPLE, I just don't have the time and energy for that right now. I don't even have the time or energy (or desire) to communicate about a birthday party that much. You know what I'm saying? I was just going to rent the place and show up with a cake.

One Of Those Days

You know the ones.... at 5 PM if someone had knocked on my door and said "You can choose life or death." I would've said "Death please."

Yes one of those days.

It wasn't that anything particularly bad or stressful happened, it was just exhausting. Kid has been sick ever since her sleepover. She has a very bad hacking cough and a slight fever and a sore throat. Awesome. Please don't give it to me. I had her stay home today... which was very difficult to do since I really hate that she has missed so much school lately due to the damn lice. On top of that Baby took one of her freakish late afternoon/early evening naps and was then up until MIDNIGHT on Sunday night. Added bonus I had to wake up early (even though my kids would be sleeping in) to watch the baby. So I went into it tired.

Then the baby is teething and was crabby and needing to be worn in the sling for LONG periods... which was killing my already fragile back. And the kids were bored of being quarantined AWAY from the baby. It was just awkward and a little stressful trying to keep him away from Kid while still meeting everyone's needs.

Kid was happy to just watch TV for a lot of the day until she was obviously starting to feel a bit better because then she started asking to do complicated art projects and whining to me about everything I was doing wrong. It was an awesome colliding of forces that had me trying to bounce the baby to sleep, while being told what I had promised but not done by Kid, while Baby informed me that she's been sitting around with a giant dump in her pants. If I hadn't been babysitting this is the moment I would have lost my shit. But, and this is the positive/negative of the sitting arrangement, I have to hold it together no matter the circumstance.

The baby went home at 5:30 and I just wanted to crumple to the ground. Everyone was crabby and hitting the wall and starving because I didn't really serve real meals today. Everyone was also still in their pajamas. And I just did not want to make dinner... but... I could see Baby getting all sleepy eyed and I was going to be damned if she screwed me over with a late nap again. I put a pot of water on and I called Mr F. I know he's on deadline and I was actually hoping he would say that he was going to be late so I could just go ahead and make dinner for the kids early. I really just wanted this day to be over. Plus eating now would keep Baby awake.

Well Mr F shocked me and said he'd be leaving soon and would be home BY SIX. Interesting since he is NEVER home by 6. So I put dinner off a little longer. I kept messing with Baby to keep her awake instead of lying on the couch and letting Ina take all my worries away. Then I started dinner.

Six o'clock... No Mr F. Six fifteen... No Mr F. At this point dinner is ready and I'm not waiting. The kids and I eat. As soon as I'm done... at 6:30... the time he normally comes home... he strolls in the door. He might as well have committed a war crime against me I was so pissed. And you know why. I could have eaten with the kids an hour earlier! I could have been one hour closer to finally getting a moment to myself! I didn't care what freaking time he came home... I just cared that he didn't have the courtesy to show me some respect and call. P.S. MR F.... DO NOT FUCKING LIE TO ME.

Now I knew I was entering rage territory and that I really needed to go workout before I stabbed someone (Mr F)... but... since Kid was feeling better and is returning to school... that means I needed to do a thorough lice check.

People, people! I am OVER the lice checks. I'm done. I just can't do it anymore. Instead of working out I spent over an hour going through her hair one row of hair (literally one hair deep) at a time. Mr F hooked up his special painters clip light so I could have a powerful spot light. Have you ever tried to brush your kids hair and had them kind of throw a mini tantrum because you pulled A hair?

Okay. Combing for lice is like living through that for an eternity. It is abusive to both of us.

Because her hair is literally (yes factually) the exact same color as the nits they are nearly impossible to see. Any shifting of light and you could lose one. Kid needs to hold her head perfectly still... um... and this is an understatement... that is extremely difficult for her. Which makes me sometimes grab her head and force it into position and think as I do it... "one more move and I'll snap your neck!" Seriously it's horrific. It is torture. After committing an hour to this process if she starts fidgeting and I lose a row the whole thing was a waste of time. If she goes to school and has even ONE nit she'll be sent back home. It is enough to bring me near tears at this point. Every time I go through I catch at least one. Even when I think I have them all. I've spent two hours with my back in the horribly painful half hunch necessary to see her hair line (which after two weeks has resulted in severe constant back pain) I'll find another one tomorrow. Or the teacher will. If there is a Hell in Hell you will have to pick nits off a seven year old. Have fun with that.

After all that I made everyone cookies.

Guess which two are mine?

The Winner

I used that random.org generator after numbering the comments. There are quite a few of you I'd like to give this to... but... this is the only way I could choose.

There were 12 entries.

And the winner is....

"True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 12
Result:
10"

Rah you are the winner!

Congratulations. Email me your address.

Your Life Sucks Here's Ten Bucks Giveaway

Heads up... I'm closing the giveaway at 10 PM. I'll announce the winner (if I haven't collapsed in a heap of exhaustion) at 10:30

Yes it is that time again.

Time when I give one of you ten dollars in an effort to make your life just a bit brighter.

Here is how it is going to work today:

Leave a comment.

Make sure you DO NOT apologize or minimize your feelings! For real... you will get disqualified if you put any conditions on your situation/feelings. So DO NOT say stuff like "things could be worse" or "I know this isn't cancer" or "In the grand scheme of things this is nothing", etc.

If you are sitting there thinking that your problems aren't really that bad and you shouldn't enter this contest... well... you are exactly the person who should enter.

Learning to ask for help, receive help, and owning our own feelings are all important lessons. (Always the free therapy around here)

All I need to know is that life has been a struggle lately and that getting $10 would make you happy.

Anything else you include is up to you.

By Order Of The Court

"See this? Do not touch it." Mrs F says to Mr F as he meanders through the kitchen.

"Everyone come here!" Mrs F calls to the kids.

"Do not touch this. I am giving this one away. It is perfect. No one touches it!" Mrs F orders.
This is the BEST pumpkin bread ever. I found it at Allrecipes.com. It had like a million positive reviews and it lived up to them. The best thing about this bread (outside of it's fantastic flavor and texture!) is that it is one of those rare and coveted recipes that actually gets better after a couple of days. So if you give things like this as gifts you will want to bookmark this recipe. I'm shipping a loaf out tomorrow!



Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread
by Laurie Bennet found on Allrecipes.com

INGREDIENTS:
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 7x3 inch loaf pans.
2. In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.
3. Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.



I have made a couple of modifications to this recipe. I use 1/2 c melted butter and a 1/2 c oil in place of the 1 c oil. I also increased the spices a bit. I used about 1.5 times what the recipe called for. And I baked this in two full size loaf pans... it perfectly makes two full loaves and they baked for about 65 minutes.