By Order Of The Court

"See this? Do not touch it." Mrs F says to Mr F as he meanders through the kitchen.

"Everyone come here!" Mrs F calls to the kids.

"Do not touch this. I am giving this one away. It is perfect. No one touches it!" Mrs F orders.
This is the BEST pumpkin bread ever. I found it at Allrecipes.com. It had like a million positive reviews and it lived up to them. The best thing about this bread (outside of it's fantastic flavor and texture!) is that it is one of those rare and coveted recipes that actually gets better after a couple of days. So if you give things like this as gifts you will want to bookmark this recipe. I'm shipping a loaf out tomorrow!



Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread
by Laurie Bennet found on Allrecipes.com

INGREDIENTS:
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 7x3 inch loaf pans.
2. In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.
3. Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.



I have made a couple of modifications to this recipe. I use 1/2 c melted butter and a 1/2 c oil in place of the 1 c oil. I also increased the spices a bit. I used about 1.5 times what the recipe called for. And I baked this in two full size loaf pans... it perfectly makes two full loaves and they baked for about 65 minutes.

It Is With A Queasy Stomach That I Announce....

The return of...

This Week The Plan

People. People! I'm not looking forward to this.

Menu:

Monday - Parent Orientation night... kids eat at Mr F's office

Tuesday - Shrimp Scampi w/ noodles & sauteed broccoli

Wednesday - Roast Chicken, crispy potatoes & Sherry and Garlic Sauteed squash & carrots

Thursday - Honey Mustard Glazed Salmon w/ seasoned rice & green beans

Friday - Pizza night w/ sliced tomatoes

Saturday - Chicken & Cheese Enchiladas

Sunday - Tomato & Meatball Soup w/ salad


Kid's School Lunches:

Wednesday - hard boiled egg, watermelon, yogurt, turkey sandwich, milk

Thursday - hard boiled egg, strawberries, yogurt, pb&j, milk

Friday - hard boiled egg, tomatoes, yogurt, tuna sandwich, milk


Errands & Chores:

Monday - laundry, vacuum, parent orientation

Tuesday - grocery shopping, put away clean clothes

Wednesday - 1st day of school, make returns (Lowe's, Michael's, etc)

Thursday - pick up girls' room

Friday -

Saturday -

Sunday -


Diet & Exercise:
I'll be addressing this in detail tomorrow.
I'm going to continue food journaling. Eating under 1400 a day. And working out 40-60 min a day. I'll be doing the 30 day shred 3x this week.

This Little Piggy Went On Vacation

I have definitely gained at least 5 pounds on this trip.

This morning I went to put on my shorts and I could not... ahem... fit in them.

Not good seeing as I only have a few things to wear to begin with.

I also have a big honkin' zit on my face, which... not to brag or anything... is pretty much unheard of on me.

Could it be the 2-3 sodas a day? The daily licorice? The chex mix & doritos? The evening cocktail or two? Or the huge dessert served immediately after dinner which I consume whether I am hungry or not (I'm usually not)?

I thought when I got here I'd get plenty of exercise walking up and down the beach. But lo and behold the beach is non existent this year due to the crazy impenetrable stronghold of the dune grass (illegal to pull). So most days we can't walk along it at all. Not with the huge cold front blew through bringing big waves that slap right up to the grass.

And the 30 day Shred? What of that? Well by my 2nd day of driving I had done some irreparable damage to my right knee (yes I did use cruise control... no I don't know why it happened) making it unable to bear weight once past about a 45 degree angle. I'm not kidding. It has been a serious hinderance. It has made everything from getting things off the floor to walking up the sand from the water near impossible... especially while carrying 30 pounds of toys and 30 pounds of squirmy toddler. So due to the lunges and squats and jumping I thought better of paralyzing myself and have shelved the workout until I'm pain free (I'm not).

So today as I button my shorts and then took them back off in disgust I have vowed to give up these things:

NO more soda

NO more cocktails

NO more chips, dips, snack mixes

NO more than 2 cups of coffee

NO more desserts (drastic!)


I AM GOING TO:

drink water ALL DAY

have a half sandwich for lunch

only ONE portioned snack before dinner

eat 1/2 my dinner at dinner & save 1/2 for later in the evening (to avoid dessert!)

walk with the girls on the road everyday

start doing the 30 day Shred (excluding the squats & lunges)

This Week The Plan

I'm back. I think it is a very good sign that I am even attempting to get back in the organizational saddle.
I'd give you the week in review but lets be real you know what it was... hell.

Menu:

Monday - hamburgers

Tuesday - quiche & bagged salad

Wednesday - chicken & pasta primevera

Thursday - ?

Friday - go out to eat

Saturday - pizza, potluck brunch... hmmm

Sunday - tomato & meatball soup


Diet & Exercise:

This week I'm going to stop freaking lying to myself and start doing something.
6 days this week I am going to do some kind of exercise. You can track it along with me in my left hand sidebar.
I'm going to go for 1600 calories 5 days and have 2 slightly higher days. I'm doing it.


Move Related Tasks:

Monday - take obviously basement items down, finish kitchen, assemble kids beds

Tuesday - get stove delivered, hopefully get stove & dryer hooked up!

Wednesday - Do laundry, get master bedroom set up

Thursday -Target run, hang curtains

Friday - unpack clothes

Saturday - Kid's Kindergarten potluck! Yay!

This Week The Plan

Okay last week wasn't great. As is always the case post-vacation (be there travel or not) the week went straight to Hell. I never really recovered from being off schedule the week before and it all just kind of spilled into last week as well. On top of that (which means the house was a wreck) Baby went through another (yes another) night waking spell which resulted in something like a full on sugar binge for me. And I don't really blame myself... I have to do something to stay alive (and awake)... it does just throw the whole week of course. In the end I never really exercised outside of my terminal trekking and one stroller walk... but I was exhausted and I'm cutting myself some slack and moving on.

This weekend I actually went to the mall and bought myself some reasonably nice things (unheard of). I got new sandals and a new outfit (see below)... added bonus the outfit was bought with old gift cards (yes I even hoard those) so it was essentially free. And I already wore it (even more unheard of). Typically if I buy something "nice" I have to covet it (with the tags on) for quite some time... as nothing I do seems nice enough to warrant wearing it... and then before you know it it has been 90 days and it is still lying there tags on and I return it. So this wearing of a new outfit... one day post purchase... is a major step for me and really should be applauded.


On to this week:

Menu:

Monday - Chicken Fajitas

Tuesday - Chicken Faux Lo Mein

Wednesday - Kid & Mr F Date Night

Thursday - Cornflake Crusted Tilapia & Asparagus

Friday - Tomato & Meatball Soup

Saturday - takeout

Sunday - Salmon Caesar Salad



Diet & Exercise:
Obviously last week was a bomb. Whatever. Moving forward. I'm going to continue food journaling but I'm not calorie counting anymore. I have not been restricting my calories and I have not been gaining... I just want to focus on making better choices. I have some ideas on that front that I am pondering... maybe I'll divulge them this week. As for exercise I'm just going to do the best I can. I've been enjoying the change of pace (haha literally) that the running intervals bring to the workout and so I'm going to focus on that for now and keep trying to up my running distance.


Chores & Errands:

Monday - laundry, vacuum

Tuesday - grocery shopping, clean off desk

Wednesday - vacuum

Thursday - clean off desk (as I surely won't have done that yet), pay bills

Friday - look into weekend trip to tulip festival

Sucking It Up

I've noticed a trend around here... maybe you've noticed it too... every couple of weeks I hit a wall. I feel overwhelmed and tired. Then I feel a great push to get back on track. Then I get my mojo back. Then I start baking. Then I get tired and stressed. Then I hit a wall. Sounds familiar right? (And yes I'm fairly certain this cycle has at least a little to do with my... um.... cycle.)

Well, I know I've said it before, but enough is enough. I'm sick of the rollercoaster ride. You know when I didn't feel this way? That's right when I was losing weight. Why? Because I didn't let anything sway me from sticking to my diet and exercise routines. Not hormones. Not holidays. And you know what? I felt great. I had energy. I was proud of myself. I was.... a.... BADASS. Damn I miss those days.

I'm not "technically" trying to lose weight. Although I should say that instead of having a weight range of 109-112 I have found myself hovering at the VERY top end of that range (so yeah not exactly a range)... which might explain why my stomach looks pouchy in all my videos! And my body fat % is actually up and stuck at 22% which means those extra couple of pounds are pure fat. And we all know where I like to store my fat! So I guess I am technically trying to lose fat. And that isn't happening (in fact clearly I'm gaining fat) doing things the way I've been doing them.

I'm getting back on board. I'm going back to square one. I'm cutting out Mc Donald's, soda (yes I've had a couple this week), and baking like it was a full-time job. I'm going to (not just try to) get in 5-6 hours of cardio a week. And I am going to (not just say it but do it) to do two 30 minute pilates routines. If I bake (and even though I say I do it for the kids... I inevitably eat 8 of 12 muffins) I am going to limit myself to 2 servings of said baked good per day. I am going back to precise calorie counting (not guesstimating because I'm lazy or tired).

I'm not starting next week. I'm starting today. Right now. By June 7th (my birthday) I plan to be 20% body fat and a steady 109.

Purge Baby Purge

I'm ready. I'm feeling it. It is Purge Time!

Unfortunately, despite Mr F's "yeah let's do it", he is having a very hard time letting go. So I've come up with a few purging steps.

Step #1: Write down the things you are saving and are non-negotiable. This is to be done from your memory... not while sorting through a box that had been sitting in your basement storage room for 7 years. If you know what you are saving and have a purpose for saving it then so be it. If you are ready to go all out this is the only step you need... Mr F is not ready for that yet. I know for us the stuff we are intentionally saving is a very small percentage of what is down there.

Step #2: Write down the things you are saving that you know you would like to get rid of. This is also to be done from memory. I find that many things are hard to toss once I see them even if I was ready to purge them.

Step #3: Exchange lists and sort out the "keepers" and the "giveaways" for your spouse/purge partner. What you don't have to touch or see you don't have to be effected by. That might be the last step if you were really in a hard core purge zone. Everything else that wasn't accounted for could be trashed or donated.

BUT that is a bit extreme for us so we're going to move on to....

Step #4: ALL the stuff that was unaccounted for shall be assessed. And hopefully sorted by category. Trash and obvious giveaways will be separated. The remaining items in question shall be reviewed by their owner/s and then re-stored.

Step #5: In two months repeat Steps 1-3 with the remaining items.

This whole process may need to be repeated several times but in a few months you will only be keeping things you consciously and objectively want to keep. Your partner is only removing the things you said to remove and discard, you are still in control of your things. You are enlisting their help only to remove the "oh now that I see it I remember how much I really like it" aspect of hoarding. Everything that remains after the first 3 steps you must look at before you re-store it. You don't have to trash it or make a decision but you do need to assess everything that you are keeping so that you can be effective in carrying out steps 4 & 5 in a few months. This, my friends, could work.

*****************************************************

Last night we sat down to make our lists. Here's what we've got so far...

Keepers - Mrs F:
2 saris I got in India
Nana's oriental plate collection & silk dining room curtains
Social Work books
Couples Therapy paper
crystal candlesticks
Nana's antique pitcher set
Silver Coffee Urn
Copper Chaffing Dish
our extra everyday dishes
Fiestaware
box of frames
sewing machine
sewing cabinet
wedding cake stuff
hand-me-downs for Baby
American Girl doll armoire

Keepers - Mr F:
comics
baseball pennants

Giveaways - Mrs F:
social work papers
high school art portfolio
cake plate & server set
misc candles & candle holders in bin
vanity table from Kid's room
old American Girl clothes
all magazines
G'dad's old model train
old humidifiers
datebooks
CD jewel cases

Giveaways - Mr F:
sports jerseys
old portfolio pieces
laundry hamper

This Week The Plan

Last week I actually did a really good job of staying on top of my schedule. Not scheduling workout days did remove some pressure and I ended up getting 4 really good workouts in so I feel good about that. In fact still looking for ways to really amp up my output I actually did running intervals and ran for a 1/3rd of the time (which is pretty good for a non-runner I'm thinking). I am really sore in my ankles today though!?! On reader recommendation I'll be using my new Mom Plan-It™ for my weekly meal plan and shopping lists... stay tuned next week for a review of that one. And for all of you who are bored to death with my typical meal plan, fear not, Spring is coming and my menu will start to change (plus I've finally emptied the freezer).
Okay onto this week...


Menu:

Monday - Spaghetti & Meatballs w/ steamed broccoli & carrots

Tuesday - Cornflake Crusted Tilapia w/ asparagus

Wednesday - Kid & Mr F date night

Thursday - Brown Sugar & Ginger Salmon w/ Asian veggie stir fry & spring rolls

Friday - take out

Saturday - Sauteed Chicken Breasts w/ Cesar Salad & Homemade Bread

Sunday - Meatball Soup



Diet & Exercise:

I'm just going to keep on keepin' on. I'm going to continue food journaling and calorie counting over at my food diary site. I'm going to get in as many workouts as I can. I actually really enjoyed doing the running intervals and as long as I don't start to feel it in my knees I'm going to keep it up... it was a fun change of pace.


Chores & Errands

Monday - Laundry, pay bills (play date)

Tuesday - call school district ed specialist, grocery shop (preschool)

Wednesday - vacuum, fold laundry (preschool)

Thursday - WRITE THANK YOU NOTES (preschool)

Friday - wash floors (dance)

Saturday - homeschool curriculum fair (swimming)

Sunday - clean out cubby o'shame... for real this time, laundry

This Week The Plan

Well I've learned something pretty interesting about myself this past week. When I don't have set exercise goals I actually workout more! Go figure. So I'm going to be changing that section of my plan up to be a lot less defined and see if it continues to work. This week went well for the meal planning and I have not wasted ANY produce... which has got to be a first so I'm pretty excited about that. I've been paying a lot more attention to what we have and finding ways to work it into our meals. That one zucchini straggler at the bottom of the drawer? He got grated up and thrown in the kids apple muffins... Which instantly negated all the calories and I promptly ate three! For those of you who have been sitting on the edge of your seats really concerned about my inexplicable weight gain... fear not... I'm back below 112. Whew! Oh and anybody wondering about the carpet and the blanket? Yes, my friends, it was the blanket that was shedding all over the rug. It has now been relegated to the basement couch.

Okay on to this week...


Menu:

Monday - Cornflake Crusted Tilapia w/ Citrus Salad

Tuesday - Salmon Noodle Casserole w/ Applesauce

Wednesday - Tomato & Meatball Soup w/ Crescent Rolls

Thursday - Sauteed Chicken Breasts w/ Spanish Rice & Southwestern Salad

Friday - Take out

Saturday - Go out

Sunday - Shrimp & Veggie Lo mein



Diet & Exercise:
I'm going to continue to calorie count and try to be more mindful of my vegetation consumption. I'm also going to take a Magnesium supplement everyday. On the workout front I'm just going to workout as much as I can... you can track it over in the sidebar if you're interested.



Chores & Errands:

Monday - pay bills, fold laundry

Tuesday - Grocery Shopping

Wednesday - vacuum

Thursday - Kid's conference, returns

Friday - vacuum upstairs

Saturday & Sunday - attack Cubby O' Shame!

Also I'm going to work to maintain my desk, the closet, and the kitchen on a daily basis!

Weekend Update

Okay I'm not totally done yet....

But everyone knows that filing paperwork is both tedious and mind-numbingly boring so cut me some slack. So what if I spent several hours searching online retailers for a new desk.... and curriculum.... and cheap airfare to Disney (shhh.... )?!?
All that is left are strange lost tidbits and some current bills.

And I did come up with the perfect receipt storage container for all my Target receipts (an old stationary box with magnetic closer that I got at... you guessed it... Target!).

The Cleaning Is In Progress...

Last night Mr F issues a challenge...

(it's short folks and worth it for my nighttime fashion alone)

BEHOLD!

Baby Steps

You all know I struggle with organization and general house cleanliness. Partly it is the chaos of having small children and partly it is my own inherent laziness.
But I have an idea.
I am going to maintain ONE problem area for ONE week (I would like to say for one month but that scares me).
You have all seen my desk and my mountain of mail & crap documented on many occasions. You may recall it more often than not looks like this:
Not anymore people. I cleaned it on Sunday night and got it to this state:
Today is Wednesday and it still looks like this:
Now here is the thing. I'm not stupid. I do get that keeping things clean and cleared off requires near constant yet minimal effort on a DAILY basis. The problem is that I am a perfectionist and for those of you who don't suffer from this debilitating disease it is in fact debilitating. It doesn't mean you are a clean organized person. It means if you can't do it perfectly than it isn't worth doing at all. It means that cleaning off the desk is meaningless if you can't also clean up this:
or this:
or this:

Because what is the point in having just ONE clean surface?!? My instinct is to wallow around in self pity and give into the tidal wave of junk mail because working so hard CONSTANTLY to only have ONE 4x2 surface to show for it seems like a waste. I know that is the perfectionism talking. I know that when you walk in my house the FIRST thing you see is my desk. I know that when I sit at my computer the clutter and chaos makes me want to go somewhere else. So this is a test. First I will tackle this one area for one week. Then I will see if I can add another sore spot to my list for next week. And then another.

The Big List

The other day I was sitting in the basement tying my sneakers getting ready to workout. I don't really remember what triggered the thought. But I looked at this almost laughable shit hole of a *living space* and had this realization....

I'm in control of this.
I'm in control of myself and my decisions.
I have allowed this to happen.
I can choose to change.

So why don't I? What am I waiting for? Am I ready to change my behavior? Am I ready to do it for Me... to improve my quality of life? As Dr. Phil likes to say "How's that workin' for ya?"... well Dr. Phil... it's not... and that's the point really. It's making me feel helpless and out of control. Feelings that I subconsciously strive for to repeat my childhood. But lets face facts knowing that and changing it are two different things.

Well ever since that moment I've been making a mental list. A list of things that I truly believe would make me feel better about my life. Things I put off that tax me... sometimes in a very small way... sometimes in a big way. These are the things I want to get done.

I would like to:

Print out pictures and frame them (in the frames I bought for this purpose 6 years ago) and hang them in the stairway.

Print out and hang pictures in the Bedrooms (ie finally commit to living here!)

Discard misc. furniture from Guest Room and buy blue bedside table and dresser I saw at Ikea ($350)... actually make the room look finished and inviting and not like a storage room!

Have a clean house... which means ALL the way clean... not with misc piles of crap in the kitchen, on the table, on the floor, on the basement landing, on the floor of the coat closet, on the settee in my bedroom, etc.

Discard stuff we haven't used in one year (minus heirloom or wedding table top!... I'm not crazy)... ie get rid of enough stuff that we can actually put everything we own AWAY for once!

Get more attractive toy bin for living room.

File my paperwork.

Clean out my "cubby of shame" completely this time! Fill with toys so that I can no longer rely on having a cubby to stash weird paper hoarding evidence.

Go out with Friends.... scratch that.... Make Friends (not just on the blog!)

Have people over for dinner.

Do laundry once a week... and do all the steps... including putting it away!

Keep Baby's journal updated more regularly.

Spend more quality time with Mr F.

Get kids on a more consistent bed time.

Get more sleep.

Do more art and baking projects with Kid.

Lighten up on my perfectionist nature.

Do more craft projects.

Get the dining room chairs leather and horse hair stuffing reupholstered.

Have more special time with Kid.

When I see a pile of annoying crap pick it up instead of writing a post about it!

Ta Da... New Year's Resolutions

I am super excited to reveal my New Year's Resolutions.

You may know that I usually post weekly goals along with my menu every Tuesday. I will still be doing that. One reason I believe that that is effective for me is that even if you blow it you get to start over the following week. No big deal pick up where you left off and move on. Less potential for sabotage. So keeping that in mind I was a bit hesitant to commit to changes that might be overwhelming.

At first I wanted to focus on making resolutions that would improve the quality of MY life... and yeah I mean that in a selfish way. But in general I'm an assist others before assisting myself kind of person (read: mom) so I'm not sure those will work out and I don't need to be disappointed in myself or my life or where I'm at with that right now. I'm also not putting down organizational or cleaning goals... it is tempting... oh it is tempting. But history tells me these are New Year's Resolutions that go straight down the toilet. I need to work on them and I need to incorporate them into my life in a daily manner as I have with my eating and exercise changes. I had an epiphany of sorts regarding that when watching The Biggest Loser Finale the other week and was just kind of struck by the realization that losing weight and getting organized require the same endless commitment. It is never fun, or natural, and you have to keep doing it or the tide of disorganization (or extra weight) will just creep back and take over.

So I get this with the dieting and exercise. I committed. It worked. I didn't always want to do it... but the more I did the easier and more natural it got. I'm still not a *natural* exerciser and if you asked me right now if I want to get on the treadmill I would still say "no" ...but I will. And so I realize that I need to get in that same place with... say.... cleaning off my desk. I'm never going to want to do it.... I just have to anyway. And the same joy I get from looking in the mirror and knowing for certain that "I don't look fat" is the same joy I can get from finally tackling this goal as well. But it is not going to be my New Year's Resolution... because it is something I can't conquer in a year... it will be an endless battle. I'm ready to put real energy into fighting it... but I think a New Year's Resolution should be something quantifiable. A 5 lb weight loss, or eating 5 servings of vegetables.

Okay.... blab, blab, blab.... One hour later I'm ready to reveal my New Year's Resolutions!

In no particular order:

Keep developing and posting weekly plans for menu, exercise, and cleaning.
This has helped me so much in the past 6 months. I will continue doing this indefinitely. I find having the opportunity to reassess my goals on a weekly basis keeps me mindful of my own personal challenges and accountable for the role I play in sabotaging my success.

Lower my body fat to 18% (currently 21-22%)
I think this is a lofty yet potentially achievable goal. It should motivate me to really stick to my exercise routines and increase my pilates training in order to increase my muscle mass. Obviously I can't really lose more weight so this is going to take some determination to increase my muscle mass and decrease my body fat %. I think I can do it.... but I think it will take me most of the year to get there. Stay tuned to my weekly updates as I try and map out exactly how I'm going to tackle this.

Study, as a family, one country every month
We are all really excited about this idea. At the beginning of the month we will draw the name of a country from a hat. Then get books at the library. Kid's books, cookbooks, travel books. What have you. Originally I thought we could end the month by cooking a feast ... but in the spirit of trying to make this both attainable and enjoyable... I've decided we will end the month by going out to a restaurant (we are fortunate to have nearly every kind of restaurant here) featuring that cuisine. We are also going to get a world map and tack it on a cork board so we can put pins in all the countries we have *visited*. Yes I know this sounds nerdy... but hey we are nerdy.

Lighten up on the blog
Never fear I'll still post everyday (or nearly) and still respond to all comments. I'll still check in at 10 AM, 12 PM, 4 PM, 7 PM, 9 PM, and 11 PM.... just kidding.... no actually I'm not. But I'm not going to check my stats... that just makes me crazy. And I'm going to focus on writing for me and not so much for my audience. I think I put a little too much pressure on myself to keep everyone happy and it is just a blog for crying out loud. Yes I had dreams of riding my minute success from the Weblog Awards all the way to full on blog fame and stardom... but... ummm... that is most likely not going to happen. And if it does it won't be because I did or didn't check my stats today. Maybe my New Year's Resolution should be to decide what direction I want to take this and how much time and effort I can put in. Any suggestions and or feedback on this is always welcome.

I almost forgot.... learn Norwegian
What? No... you read that right. When I read Heather's goal to learn Norwegian I was actually jealous. Now sure her husband is Norwegian (but whose to say my 2nd husband won't be?). #1 I have wanted to learn another language for some time. #2 much like the Amish I have long been obsessed with Scandinavian countries and culture... yes I am serious. So I'm doing it. This is one resolution that really is just for me... just for my own whimsy and enjoyment. Plus the girls are going to have to listen to the CDs in the car... so who knows.... maybe they'll be speaking Norwegian before too long!


The End.
That is enough for one year.

This time next year I hope to still be blogging. I hope to still weigh 110. I hope that I will still be working out 4-5 times a week. I hope that my desk will be cleaned off. I hope that Kid will be proud of her map and all the places she's visited. I hope Baby starts to sleep through the night. I hope Mr F and I can go out on a date. I hope Mr F has either gotten one job to replace his current two... or that he is happy with what he is doing. I hope our basement gets refinished. I hope I stay off soda. Most importantly.... I hope that Kid is seizure free and off her meds. I hope that her eye surgery goes well and that it will be her last surgery!

Tag You're It

"Okay Dude,
it is time for you
to watch both kids
and not just one
commencing
IMMEDIATELY."

Perfecting My Perfectionism

It's the holiday season as you all know. For Mrs F this can be a stressful and anxiety provoking time.. but hey what time isn't?! I feel compelled to have everything done perfectly. But when your house looks like a cyclone just came through it.. at all times... it can be hard to ever achieve the perfection I strive for. I mean does it really matter that the tree is up and decorated if the floor is covered in toys and shredded Kleenex (thank you Canine & Baby for that) or mushed up crackers and cut in half raisins (or poop... can't always tell at first glance)?

Our house is out of control and a low level of stress and tension festers between Mr F and I because of it. My perfectionism can paralyze me, just as his ADD and MAN can paralyze him. I long to live in a house where everything has a home.. and for those of you who do it I commend you! I don't know how you do. Obviously it doesn't help that we have a smaller old home with no storage space... that our older daughter cannot throw out anything and that her collections of special rocks and McDonald's toys and paper scraps are overflowing the playroom... or that the baby loves to drag these collections around the house. This constant mess and overgrowth is legitimately stressful. Now it is the holidays and I am even more driven to want things to be *perfect*.... and at this point in our lives it just can't be done. And that is a hard pill for me to swallow.

So I am trying to just do what I can. To appreciate the damn china hutch and not bemoan that everything else looks so shitty. To accept that we can't morph into a different family.. a clean and organized one.... just because my idea of the holidays was taken out of a magazine. To make cookies with Kid and not put it off until everything else is done first. Maybe I'll put a bow on top of the pile of mail that will constant sit on my desk no matter how many times I try to clear it off.

We all know that the holidays are not about perfect, that the decorating isn't about decorating, that the gift buying, and the cookie baking are not supposed to be stressful. That this is a time when you should turn to your family and celebrate what you have and share it with others. Sometimes that is just a little hard to remember, and even harder to do. I for one struggle to have good enough actually be good enough... and to remember that no one will ever look back and judge me for not having done a picture perfect decorating scheme... or even if my house was clean... and that if I am lucky my kids will look back at the holidays as a magical time... and that comes from love and not lights!

Paralyzed

So I am sitting here looking at this..

Yeah, that would be the same damn pile of shit that I have been complaining about for the last two weeks... only bigger.
And now we are having some guests coming over tomorrow and I actually have to do something about it. But I'm not.. I'm blogging about it instead...because even though in the amount of time I have spent on this I could have at the very least separated out the GARBAGE... I can't. Yet. Okay I'm giving myself 1 hour. I'll update with a finished photo at 8:05 PM.

Funnily enough when I downloaded the photo I found this little ditty...
Hmmm me thinks Mr F was planning some kind of blogging retaliation... can't wait to see how this is going down...


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UPDATE:

Mission Accomplished

This Week The Plan

Okay I'm finally getting back on track and planning out my menus again.
Going out of town last week really threw things off since we returned midweek and with the whole car incident I really never got much further than unpacking my bags. This even spilled over into my workout schedule. As stoked as I was not to have gained while we were gone I have really struggled to keep my workouts going since getting back. Seemingly any type of break in my routine really makes it hard for me to pull it together... it is that whole control begets control... just in reverse. It is still so eye opening to see how easy it is to get off track! Tomorrow is a new day and a new week and I am planning to get back to business. I really feel better all around.. mood, energy level, general disposition... when I make these weekly plans. As unnatural as it was for me in the beginning.. the weeks I don't do it I don't ever feel like I have everything quite taken care of.. like I am hobbling along trying to catch up and then the week is over and I didn't workout as much as I wanted, or do the laundry, or clean... I really do feel much more chaotic. So lesson learned (again!) and here I go...

Monday: Strip Steak, green beans, roasted potatoes
Tuesday: Brown Sugar & Ginger Salmon, steamed broccoli & rice
Wednesday: Mr F & Kid F date night
Thursday: Steak Sandwiches on homemade bread, salad
Friday: Kid's Chicken Soup & bread
Saturday: go out to eat
Sunday: Salmon Noodle Casserole with embellished apple sauce & sauteed mushrooms

Also since things really have gotten crazy around the house lets see if a weekly plan can help with that too...
Monday: Laundry
Tuesday: Clean Bathroom
Wednesday: Clean Wood Floors
Thursday: Clean Tile Floors
Friday: Clean Kitchen
Alright I'm scared just thinking about doing all that... this will be a real challenge! (I'm sure Mr F is laughing his ass off right about now.. shut your trap!... I can do it!)

As for weight loss I'm not really expecting to be dropping much more weight. I'd really like to keep working at my body fat % goal though. I think my calorie range is pretty good where it is at so I'm just going to stick with the 1600-1800 range for now. I would really like to fit in some more strength training so this week I'm shooting for 2 full pilates workouts (about 45 min each) and 4 hours of cardio. I'd like to find the balance that allows me to increase my fitness while maintaining my weight. I'm willing to go down about another 2 or 3 pounds but then I think I need to work at finding the right calorie limit that allows me to maintain... we'll see it could take a few weeks for me to figure out where I'll need to be.

That's it... nothing terribly exciting... just me trying to get my life back in order.

Oh... here are some pics of my new shirt and earrings... click on them to get a better look (sorry I look a little crazy.. the photo booth feature does that)