Because No Matter What Else Is Going On...

The Laundry Never Stops.

The List

That goddamn lucky bastard Mr F is out of here in 2 days (well I guess technically like 36 hours)... which means we are in serious pack mode. While we are having the house packed by movers on the 14th... they won't pack everything (pantry, toiletries,clothes, things I don't trust them with or are just too freaking expensive or sentimental to want to replace) and that shit will be left to... you guessed it... moi. Yep those will be some fun times for me. And if you doubt it remember that I'll be here solo style with 2 crazy kids, an anxious dog, and movers underfoot while trying to get every last little thing out of here and cleaned up BY MY FREAKING SELF! Oh and then after closing on the house BY MY FREAKING SELF... and taking a short respite (not by myself... don't think I'll be getting any breaks people) at the cottage... I'll then be driving those same 2 crazies and that same anxious dog 15 hours to North Carolina BY MY FREAKING SELF. That is why Mr F is now on my shit list. Because no matter how many times I tell him all the shit that will be falling on my shoulders he won't be here and he won't ever be able to fully appreciate the pure Hell I'll be in.

Here are some things that must happen before Mr F leaves:

Take down and pack Chandelier.... part way accomplished

Take down curtains and curtain rods ... part way accomplished

Disassemble and pack Laundry Pure

Clean out junk drawers and closets

Pack up all camera stuff

Pack up all of Mr F's office stuff

Take old fucking stove that the Lowes guy ( read: asshole) never came back for to the dump

Empty out garage of crap we are not moving

Pack up all of Mr F's computer stuff

Pack all of Mr F's clothes & shoes

That's not all... I'm just starting to go numb...

Alright Fine...

I can't do it.
Canine is staying... for now.

For Your Reading Pleasure

Mr F was going through our old computers last night and happened upon a treasure trove of old emails from our early dating years. He apparently thought they were all blog worthy as I awoke to my inbox full of forwarded messages. So here you go... this would be one of those surveys that I apparently thought I had answered wittily enough to send on to ALL my friends and family (it's not).


"THE BADASS SURVEY"

SEX: Female
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Me, my living muppet, and the occasional rodent, all living cozily under the ceiling of a not quiet unpacked and fully moved in one plus bedroom apartment(the plus is currently known as "the room of shame" and houses most of the more unsightly side effects of being not quiet unpacked and fully moved in) on the beautiful rolling hill that is known as park slope, Brooklyn.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS? I am taken back to the fifth grade, hiding out in my brothers closet with my friend harnessing the powers of OUIJA to determine what was for dinner. Tuna (melts to be specific... I think... I'm not as positive about the melt as I am about the tuna). I can't remember if the prediction was on the money, but I would venture to guess not as I have not been known to rely on its powers of prediction since.
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Who wants to be a millionaire... some may call it low brow... that is half of the appeal; iron chef, you have not experienced the thrill of competition until you have experienced this occasionally bloody cook-off challenge, and Felicity.. what can I say the girl is my soul sista. P.S. Friends is fucking hilarious... I don't care what you think. And the Antique Roadshow.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? mouse pad... my ass!
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Monopoly... hands down.. and I would know I pretty much play board games for a living... and if you are not willing to go down in a blaze of bankrupted glory than turn in your thimble now, cause I can already tell that it is not gonna work out between us.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Reader's Digest... this one goes out to you Nana. Just kidding...In reality I have been let down by my dear old Martha, and don't have a current favorite. I can tell you what isn't my favorite... Maxim... is that like seventeen magazine for adult men or what?... give me a break and lets focus on something more creative than the "cover babes"... that one went out to you Matt
FAVORITE SMELLS: Carmex; Tide; Clean&Smooth liquid hand soap with the green writing.... highly recommended....mmmm... fruity delight; and anything with an apple/cinnamon/and or brown sugar combination... preferably while in the process of baking.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: anyone who suffers from lactose intolerance, irritable bowel syndrome, or the aftermath of gallbladder disease knows what I am thinking.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: two things: 1. the first sip of a cold effervesant Dr. Pepper, its bubbly delight momentarily blurring your vision... that is the epitome of refreshment. 2. peeing after you have had to hold it in so long that you think you might actually die... but just before reabsorption.
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: the Piano
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING? hmmm...if I skip my first appointment and see them tomorrow I can go back to bed for another hour and a half... yep, sounds good to me.
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Only if reading while in transit, or being spun around on the death trap known as the Himalaya at Coney Island being smashed against the side of the car by a somewhat heavier friend, for what seemed like an hour just before the DJ/operator announced we were half way through.
ROLLER COASTERS-SCARY OR EXCITING? so scary that it is exciting.. in an adrenaline pumping fight for survival kind of way. I am the person who is screaming hysterically.
PEN OR PENCIL? Pen
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? one... pathetic you might say... nope just superior reflexes.
FUTURE SON'S NAME: jake
FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: madeline
FAVORITE FOODS: pizza, pot de creme, sourdough bread, my mom's bread pudding, really good edible stuff of all kinds
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: I think we are all giving it our best effort, and I hope to someday be able to give a resolute yes.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? I'm a 50/50... it depends on the form
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: don't really have one... refer to "worst feeling in the world"
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: not really either, although croutons over bacon bits hands down.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: Oui, although still occasionally plagued by irrational fear of long distance highway driving... post traumatic stress disorder
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? I did up until a few months ago... putty tried to "kill" it and it has been retired to safer pastures, now I sleep with live animals.
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: very cool if safe, very scary similar to roller coaster reaction if not.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: Used plymouth laser
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Anyone I haven't met who needs someone to acknowledge them... genuinely
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Gemini
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET? my mom...(Christmas is coming... don't you wish you thought of that one Jamie?)... just kidding mom you really are talented
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes
GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT?
GIRLS-WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT? under what conditions.... if I was shipwrecked and was going to have to go through town searching for help in tattered or non- existent clothes and there was a guy with an intact shirt... I might ask him for it.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
To run a therapeutic foster boarding home.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I wouldn't... that gray hair is here to stay!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? I thought I was at the time but I am not sure anymore... I hope to be positive sometime in my future.
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? a home sweet home cross-stitch from my step-mom, a hand painted peter the rabbit picture my aunt made me when I was little, and a hand made angel from a friend, and a shelf with books and candles.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? half-empty... not because I am a pessimist... but because in reality I always fill my glass between 3/4 and 7/8 and if it is any lower it is because I drank it, and it is now half-empty.
WHAT IS FAVORITE SNAPPLE? peach iced tea
FAVORITE MOVIE(S)?:Life is Beautiful, Antonia's line, and I agree with you Courtney... Rushmore is hilarious.
ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? right handed
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? but of course
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? gardening gloves
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? thanks to the Swiffer... no more dust; a rug; shoes; 7 yards of fabric(soon to be curtains... yeah right); several of Putty's bones, extra pillows
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?: 7... my birthday... narcissistic you say?
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM VEHICLE? This will only make sense to people in my 'hood... but there is this crazy pickup truck with live animals (rodentia I fear) in the back, and pro trapper bumper stickers... I call it the " kids who hunt, trap and fish don't grow up to mug little old ladies" mobile.
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: iron chef... with these guys cooking is a sport
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON(S) WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Courtney is a caring and loving step-mom, and that is a hard job to have.
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND: Janet Jackson

Feel The Fury

Nature Vs Nurture

A month or two ago I was thinking about Kid and Baby and the differences between their diets. They eat completely differently. Baby is a grazer who is interested in food 24 hours a day. Baby wanted solids at 4 months and ate her first Oreo off the floor at 6 months. She has a HUGE sweet tooth and one of her first words was "cookcook" (cookie).

In contrast Kid is a "Three Squares a Day" type eater. She hardly ever snacks and doesn't really even like snack food. She prefers savory to sweet and loves meat. I mean REALLY loves meat. She eats meat 3 x a day. It wasn't until the last two years that she started liking desserts at all... she'll eat them now... but she'll NEVER over eat them. She really will walk away from a half eaten piece of cake (she did not get that from Mr F or I!). To prove the point I just asked Kid "If you could have a giant piece of steak meat or a giant piece of cake which would you choose?" and she replied "steak meat".

So the first question is: Are these their natural food preferences or did I shape their taste preferences this way?

You see, like many of you out there, I've been a LOT more lax with Baby than I was with KId. Kid didn't have any sugar or desserts before she was three. That was a choice I made having read many times that what we are exposed to before age three does shape our lifelong tastes. I have to say that does seem to be true (so far). But it might also be true that Kid wasn't drawn to those tastes and so didn't ask for them. It's not like I set out to feed Baby Oreos before she had teeth... but she can't be denied... and I can't deny her. Is Baby a sweet tooth because I let her eat what she wants? Do I let her eat what she wants because she's the baby (YES)? Or is Baby hardwired to choose sweets over everything else?

Now let me say that my kids aren't small. They're not HUGE and I'm not worried about their weight. But they are not small kids who I ever had to worry about how much they are eating. They eat completely differently from each other and yet have pretty similar weights and heights for their ages. Kid was always big (she came out that way) and she has pretty much maintained those percentiles. Her BMI is at the high end of normal and her weight percentile is a little higher than her height. Baby is taller than she is heavy but not in a vastly different proportion. They eat well and gain well and always have. At one point Kid's Dr said Kid was in the "overweight" BMI and asked that we not go to McDonalds (yes same asshole Dr)... but at that time Kid was still breastfeeding and not eating anything but brown rice, broccoli, and chicken so it wasn't related to her food intake just where she was at in terms of growing and her body type.

But all this led me to think about my second question: How much are my kids eating?

I mean really. How many calories should kids of their age and size be eating from an overall metabolic standpoint and where do my kids fall in that range? I believe there are thin picky eaters out there who may very well eat more than Kid but just metabolize their food differently. I think there are thin picky eaters who eat less and require less. And while I believe there are some kids who are just not ever going to be thin...I also believe there are heavier kids who eat more than they need and are learning to fill up on food at an early age. What I think most of us don't know is how much they "should" be eating. Not that there is one exact answer. Not that I think we should limit what we give our kids based on an arbitrary number.... but I do think we should pay attention. I do think we should be informed and aware of what a healthy range is. Just as we should be aware of what healthy foods are.

So here is a link where you can find out what that range is.

Video Update

Starting Over

Remember last week when I said I was my highest weight? Um... well... that wasn't technically my highest weight. I actually managed to gain a little more. That might have been partly due to a little sabotage (hello sheet cake), partly due to an unexpected date night (hey these come along VERY rarely), but primarily due to my complete lack of planning.

I'd like to blame it on all the other stuff on my plate these day but the reality is you can't lose weight without a plan. When I was losing I had a dieting philosophy that allowed me to eat anything I wanted as long as I kept under my calorie limit. That didn't mean that I just winged it I always had set treats and consistent calorie limits. And I guess I just forgot that. I was ready to lose but then when I was hungry or having a craving I didn't have anything ready and waiting (think cookie dough balls).

So this week I'm getting serious. I'm stocking up on my kashi go lean bars, my sandwich makings, and a dessert choice and moving forward.

Furious Family Road Trip

Divine Intervention

Kid was making breakfast with Mr F this morning and happened upon the wooden skewer I had used as a cake tester last night.

She asked about it and Mr F said...

"Mom sticks the toothpick into the cake and if it comes out clean it's done."

"Does God force it to be clean or does Jesus make it." Kid inquired.

Look Like Anyone You Know?