Ladies Nights

I don't know why, but when Mr F isn't here we have a very different vibe going.  We eat differently, we hang out differently.

Last night was Taco Night (as scheduled... why did I resist doing this for so many years... it has been amazing!):

Kid said, upon realizing Mr F wasn't coming home....

"LADIES NIGHT!  Let's get drunk!"

then muttered...

"I already am" and promptly erupted in hysterical laughter.

(she may have watched back to back episodes of The Bachelor on her "cold day" off of school...)

Unfortunately, today her stomach has been bothering her (maybe she was drunk... j/k lindalou... I only let her drink about 4 times a year) and by 4 o'clock she was running a fever.

So, reluctantly we had to cancel our mega girls night out plans to have a $5 Hot-n-Ready with my friend and her kids while our husbands are out of town.

Instead we started watching The National Treasure movies. I rented them on a lark last night... holy moly... so far... so... AMAZING.  For a rated PG movie, the first one pretty much has it all going on.  Super intense action without being scary or intimidating in anyway.  As history buffs, it was right up our alley.  P.S. No sexy stuff ...which for Kid is maybe a negative ;) We just started the second one, but seeing as it revolves around the assassination of Lincoln (my distant cousin, yo!), and has Ed Harris in it, we are INTO it.

Goodbyes

This week was weird and stressful and just a hard week to get through.  Everyday posed another big stressor and I'm finally at the other side of it.

Behind the scenes, two big things have been converging on the Furious household.

Mr F has been grappling with the news that his father is terminally ill.  As you know, this relationship has been tenuous (to non-existent) for the last 6 years.  Anyone who has lost a parent, or other loved one, knows that the more conflicted the relationship the harder it is.  There are many mixed emotions, and guilt that there is relief in the ending of something so difficult.  This is hardly a unique parent-child dynamic and I know many of you will be able to relate on some level.  In the end, I just booked him a ticket, knowing that the guilt of not going in time would be far worse than whatever the outcome of going would be.

Also, one of Kid's very best friends is going back to Korea, tomorrow.  We have had her over for sleepovers and long weekends many times over the last year.  And, while it is easier knowing that she is ready to go home (unlike Kid's other friend, from last year, whose mother had died)... she is less connected on social media and there is the very real fear that we'll not have any more contact with her.  It is so hard.  I worry a lot about these goodbyes.  I want to due it right, for my kids and for their friends.  I changed schools a LOT as a kid, and I know how painful that is... having friendships end and being too young to be able to keep them going long distance on your own.  So, I put a fair amount of effort (and it truthfully stresses me out a lot, worrying about if it is enough and if it will work out).  I made Sally a photo album of all the pictures I had taken of them together and put in ALL of our contact info.  I gave her a framed picture of their group of friends, and a big box of her favorite Angry Bird Cheez Its to take on the plane.  Unfortunately, she doesn't know her address at home and isn't on Skype.  Hopefully, her parents will help her reach out... but, I also know that this is part of life and sometimes we have hard goodbyes with people we care about.  And it really is better to have loved than never to have loved at all.  If she doesn't email us, it is because she is busy in her life with her friends at home and we should be happy for that.  This is what I tell Kid about both her friends that have gone back to Korea... it does help... but it is still hard.  At 11, she is in many ways closer to the friends she makes now, at this age, than she ever was before. They've matured so much and share more and have their own relationships.... they aren't "playing" anymore.  And this whole goodbye was made much more stressful today, when her last day of school was cancelled due to the cold and they had not really said goodbye.  So I drove over to the boarding house, again, knowing the goodbye is important closure even when it is sad to say.  Sally has been a great friend, one of those kids you just love having over at your house.  We'll all miss her!

I'm so glad we made the drive out to say goodbye. She was so surprised and thrilled that we came, she had been disappointed all day that she hadn't been able to say goodbye to anyone.  Which just made me extra grateful that we made the trip.  And we didn't cry... then, anyway.  Which is good, it just makes it so much harder on the friend to carry that burden on top of their own feelings about leaving.

I had worried so much about getting this all right for Kid, this is her friend, after all, that I kind of underestimated how this would be for Baby.  Unlike Kid's friend from last year, Baby had spent lot of time with Sally.   This is the first real permanent goodbye for her... and she didn't really realize it until after we had been home for awhile.  She sobbed and sobbed in grief for an hour before she fell asleep.

so, that's that.  :(

It's been a hard day.  It was also the first day where I REALLY struggled with my motivation to stick to my diet & exercise plan.... interesting food for thought regarding my sabotage triggers... (I did, though!  I pushed through the impulse to take a day off... I even did an extra 15 on the treadmill).

All in all, it's been an unusual and therefore hard week... with basketball starting... and the uncertainty about how that would go and then the logistics involved, Kid's big test (which is now postponed... ), Baby having a freak bed wetting, Mr F's situation with his parents which kept us up late every night this week and now his being out of town, another "cold day" off of school, trying to get the photo album put together for Sally, and the added huge stressor of getting everything and everybody together- all at once- to apply for our passports... which you have to do in person with both parents... right smack in the middle of work/school and we needed to get it done THIS WEEK... I'm sure I'm forgetting 10 things... what can I say?... there was lots of weird extra shit to take care of this week, that all was either time sensitive or emotionally draining.  And if there is one thing I've learned about myself, it is that I don't like weird extra shit.  The first thing I want to do, to make time for it, is stop working out.  This is a REALLY hard impulse for me to fight.  But I got through it (in my sexy socks).

This Is Bizarrely Longer Than I Intended (and the really good parts are towards the end)

I'm not sure, but I don't think most 5th graders have tests that require them to write 5 short essays from memory...  I mean, their tests have no fill in the blank or multiple choice questions.  All of the questions are essay questions.  I really don't think I was doing work like this until middle school or high school... or maybe college... and I went to some mighty fine schools.  No multiple choice?! Ever?  I remember having an essay question or two... or maybe writing a long essay FROM HOME but on the spot 5 essays on a test?  For 10 & 11 year olds?  I don't know...  It is a lot of studying to do these test well and they only handed out the essay topics on TUESDAY.  Plus she had basketball practice both nights.

After basketball practice on Tuesday she reads the chapter and writes out the vocabulary words (which they are also tested on).  Yesterday, we worked out what the essays points should be and she worked on memorizing those last night and during school today.  Then after basketball tonight Kid spent an hour and a half writing them out for practice.

That's her way to an A+.   It is a lot of work to do this, but it works for her and I find having her physically write them out, rather than just read the material and memorize the key essay points allows her to fully absorb the material in a much more concrete way.  The same with vocabulary.  I have learned that if I have her look up the words and physically write out the definitions she naturally memorizes the terms through the process, faster and with less stress.  It also eases her test anxiety on test day when she has essentially already taken the test the night before.  I cannot believe she can memorize all those essays, plus Memory work, and 25 spelling words & 15 vocabulary words all for one day... but she can. Her rise to top student has been epic.  Really, it is mind boggling how far she has come in a couple of years.  She has really learned to master her anxiety.  I am continually amazed by her.  And she literally has a 4.0 in all her classes this semester and is the top student in her grade.  Her teacher had nothing to say about her during conferences except "Well, she is an exemplary student."  End of conference.  He had nothing else to say... at all (for real). (Which kind of irked me, honestly)  He took it for granted that this is just how she is and I took the time to make it clear that this is not EASY for her and does not come easily... she works incredibly hard and is an amazingly dedicated student.  He had no idea that she spends so much time on her homework and studying.  Give this kid a doctorate, already!

I'm just proud of her.  If you've been here awhile you know this has been a BUMPY road for her (for me, too).


So, we made it through our first big challenge of test prep and basketball.  I was eaten up with anxiety about this all week (I wonder where she gets it?!?).  I wasn't sure how we'd find the time... but we did it. (and we never got take out!)

All with help from a little ditty I wrote last night:

I can do it!
I can get through this...
I can do it, I can do it (in my sexy socks)
I can do it (in my sexy socks)

repeat and jazz it up
throw in a little back up singing
ala Kid style:
she can do it in her sexy socks
or:
sexy, sexy, sexy socks
or:
super, super, sexy socks
or better:
look at those sexy socks!

Baby walked in the room in the middle of our lively rendition and said:

"Those are knee high socks... they are NOT sexy."

To which I informed her that the song was IRONIC.  Duh, Baby.  Duh.

And...

She shoots:

She scores:

"I can't wait for basketball practice, tomorrow!"  Kid said excitedly.

All in all... success.

Phew.

We can do it.  We can get through this.

In Case You Were Wondering...

"Don't forget to take your Memory test tomorrow." I reminded Kid.

"I won't."  Kid replied.

"In fact, I was just imagining being judged on judgement day while I read the Articles."  she continued.

"Weird."  I remarked, a little thrown off by the revelation.

"It was weird."  Kid conceded.

"God & Jesus looked like they do in the Mormon children's book... white hair and beards and strangely muscular bodies... like twins."  She added.

Brain Dead

Last night someone (Baby, just to be clear... Kid would die if you thought it was her!) had an accident & instead of getting the sleep I desperately need... I got to spend an hour cleaning up the bed.

I'm EXHAUSTED.  I never really was able to get back to sleep after that so I had... oh... 4 hours of sleep.

I did workout.  I am in my calories.

I filled out our passport applications and got my passport photo taken (I don't hate it).

We had Kid's first basketball practice (she doesn't want to quit.. so that is pretty good).

Then we had a basketball parents meeting.

Thankfully, I made two pots of soup & two loaves of bread yesterday. Since it is freezing out I just put the whole 2nd pot in the garage which just made everything even easier to manage.  Tonight after basketball I just brought it in and up to a boil. Done.  I kind of love the polar vortex.  I now have the world's largest 2nd fridge.

We are all hurting tonight.... It is definitely hard to get home over two hours later than usual & still cram the same amount of homework & cooking, bathing, etc into such a short amount of time. Kid's also physically exhausted & getting home in the dark... geez... I feel badly that she has so much work to do.   She's still only 11 and does need to go to bed.

I do, too.

Of course, tonight I have to stay up late writing out Kid's test prep for her History test on Friday.

Goodbye.  I'm barely coherent.  The end.

Rough Start

I woke up in a TERRIBLE mood.  The girls and Mr F had the day off and  for one reason or the other we all slept in way too late... which stressed me out right from the get go because it is really hard to get the girls to bed on time for school when that happens.  Also, I slept unusually hard and woke up with a start, quite a few hours later than I expected, from a weird anxiety dream.  And that is always a rude awakening.  I think I'm getting a migraine.

But, also, I stayed up very late updating all of my calendars (2 paper & my phone) with Kid's basketball practice and game schedules and Baby's new swimming class time & new dance class & the one million alerts necessary to keep us all on time (and with everything we need on hand).  It was laborious!

I feel pretty overwhelmed, because I already find the 3 PM - 8 PM situation to be barely doable and now I've just thrown us into a blender at high speed. I think that the basketball will be a great experience, and I want Kid to try something outside of her comfort zone... but it is a lot.  Because it is a small private school we have to drive our kids to the games, which means instead of getting a little ease put into my afternoon pickup routine... it is actually going to be much more intense.  D'oh!  I have to keep reminding myself we can get through 10 weeks.  We can get through 10 weeks. Basically I have something somewhere every night but Friday (and 50% of the time we actually do have something on Friday night) (plus Baby's Saturday day dance lesson) and I was already driving for over 2 1/2 hours a day as it was.  I'm scared, peeps.  I really crave me some low key stress free days at home.  I'm not big on being scheduled, let alone over scheduled.  But these are the days.

Note To Self:  DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR WORKOUTS.

Do Not Even Think About It, Woman!

So anyway, I've been right on the edge of a migraine all day... it is just starting to really set in.  Which, FYI, I have been having less of since I reduced my coffee intake.  I still have my vision issues (which is just another kind of migraine) but the really intense painful traditional migraines are definitely happening less frequently.  So, bonus for me.  Although, not bonus tonight.

But, despite everything, I still:

Stuck with my diet:

I eat this every single morning & me loves it! 

Bay's English Muffin, Fried Egg & Spinach.  Yum Yum

I worked out.  I'm getting past the resistance phase and into the addiction phase.  

I made not one, but two pots of soup and this delicious bread:

I Skyped with my niece.

I did 3 loads of laundry (and thanks to Mr F's help actually got it all put away!)

I registered Kid for sleep away camp this summer!

I took a gratuitous cat photo:

I made my meal plan and I got Kid to agree to buy lunch this week!

Then I helped Kid memorize her spelling and Memory for this week.  

Now, maybe, if Mr F doesn't fall asleep reading to Baby, 

we'll finally watch the new Downton Abbey.

 Goal for this week:  Go to BED.  

Nothing is going to derail me faster than sleep deprivation.

Under the Wire

I didn't forget. I'm here.  11 posts in 11 days.  I used to think about blogging like it was a job... it was a job... and it took a tremendous amount of work and effort to produce content every single day.  I'm still just baby stepping here.  I don't have my head in the game of constantly identifying blog topics just yet. I live my life much more than I edit it... and in many ways that is a good thing... but also just the necessity of life with older kids who actually leave the house and require me to take them. ;)

I also did my 16th consecutive workout and I'm happy to report that my ability and endurance levels are up & I upped the difficulty significantly today... and not only did it but put in an extra 5 minutes.  Feeling good.  My waist measurement is down an inch in just over 2 weeks.  It is working!