We Laugh, We Cry

Laughably, I found myself feeling relieved that it was 3 degrees outside.

I guess I'm acclimating to the arctic winters. Also, wind is EVERYTHING. Or lack of wind, I should say. It makes all of the difference.


 Plus, another frigid winter means Baby is actually getting use out of the badass snowsuit I bought her last year:

My 3rd Up by Jawbone band died in a year and my warranty was up, so I switched to the Fitbit Flex. I do find having a fitness band helps me stay motivated (immensely)... although I will say I find the Fitbit much less user friendly. Kind of disappointed, but I just can't condone sinking more money into as flawed a devise (battery-wise) as the Up band.


 I just booked a mid-winter trip to Disney! I think it has been 3 or 4 years (??!) since we were there. Yowza it is much ore expensive... both because it is, because we can't travel during a discounted time, and because Kid is now full price and I cannot (even with our mad acting skills) try to pull of Baby being under 3 and therefore free. So, this will likely be our last trip for quite a few years. We are maxing it out though, staying onsite, doing the meal plan (character meals every single day, baby!), and after much debate... flying. I think I said last time that driving there and back was a Hell I never wanted to go through again (in part because Kid had food poisoning and puked the entire drive home... and in part because two very long days of driving after a vacation kind of negates any relaxation you might have had on your vacation).


 I wish I had a picture of Kid for you (why don't I take any photos anymore?!... Oh, I know, because my iPhone4s has been ruined by iOS8... why did I update?!?!?) Maybe I'll try to post a picture for you, later. She is really good looking. I mean, she had a rough patch (toddlerhood and your strange old man's hair... I'm talking to you), but holy shit she has really grown into herself. She lucked into some rogue supermodel genes. And she is only 12 and completely through puberty... so no awkward teen years. What the heck? And her teeth are naturally nearly perfectly straight... didn't inherited either of our jack-o-lantern mouths. She is like a genetic marvel. I don't know how it happened.


 It almost makes up for the fact that I was inadvertently feeding her a neurotoxin for 4 (formative!!) fucking years and it possibly was the cause of her epilepsy. I kind of want to throw myself off of a bridge. It is done and there is no going back and redoing it. I am compensating with humor. Anytime something is going wrong for Kid, I yell out "Miralax!", as it will now hold the blame for anything that goes wrong (FOREVER). And we laugh instead of cry. Because there is nothing we can do now, and no one to sue (yet).  We had the best doctors and, at the time, they believed it was as safe as water. Seriously (and unfortunately). I am SO glad I spent so much time and energy avoiding BPA! WTF??! But just know, that if I dwell too much on it, I might have a significant mental breakdown.

 Please, let's not have this be a carcinogen we have to pay the price for down the road. PLEASE.

I might start to cry so let's move on...


 In other FANTASTIC news, a goddamn registered sex offender has moved in across the street. He assaulted a child, so good news... I now cannot ever let my kids outside. Awesome. And our neighbor saw him standing fully fucking nude in front of his glass storm door looking out at our side of the street (which is how we all learned he was a sex offender). Our neighbor talked to the police, but there is nothing we can do but wait and WATCH. He was convicted 2 months ago but has not served his prison term yet... why is he not in a county jail or something while he awaits sentencing?? Why are they not sentenced at their trial??? This seems absolutely insane that he would free to live in the community before he gets locked up for 15 years.


 So, yes, DISNEY. Let's just focus on that.