Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Cake

Wanna see a cake I'm proud of?
I made a back post just for you.

Mrs F Questions Her Quest For Holiday Perfection

I'm hurtin' this morning. Baby just put me through night 3 of HELL. She's been waking up no less than 8 times a night and has left me in such a state of sleep deprivation that I'd be tempted to shoot myself in the head to make the general achiness and head fogginess disappear. Fortunately I'm not sure I'd have the energy to pull the trigger.

On top of all that this week has put me through the ringer trying to pull everything together for Kid's birthday and Halloween. Disappointingly my quest for holiday perfection has not waned in the past years. I'm still in need of some serious work on that front and really hope I can pull Christmas together in a more enjoyable and less stressful way. Thankfully Christmas doesn't involve icing a birthday cake... which with the "tornado" running around the kitchen and poking her little fingers into it... was more than a little challenging.

The whole week has really brought to light my issues. I make myself crazy with this stuff... and cannot let up no matter the personal sacrifice. Everything must be *perfect*. I need the house to be completely clean and organized for the big day (whatever that is). I need to make the day stand out and so I have to have special decorations. I make our cakes and decorate them... and NO it isn't fun to do that... it is fucking stressful to make a *perfect* cake. It is especially stressful with Baby underfoot (and pushing stools up to the counter where she can poke it and grab my legs while I'm icing it making it impossible for me to make a straight line! And no I couldn't do it while she napped...because that little maniac doesn't sleep. And I couldn't do it the night before because.... that's right... she took a 45 minute nap yesterday and that apparently was enough to recharge her until 11 PM!

It's enough to make me wish I had never learned how to decorate cakes. If I didn't know better I could just ice it up and present it with candles. Or do what millions of other people do and buy one for crying out loud. But now I feel like I owe my family a cake and at this point Kid expects it. It takes nearly 2 hours just to ice the cake... so after participating in Kid's school morning, then hitting the balloon store across town, it was already after 11. Then I had to make the icing and prep the cake. Then ice it. Then clean up all the cake mess, decorate the house, and clean up all the shit Baby had occupied herself with while I tried to ignore her. It was a NIGHTMARE. I never sat down. I never ate. For real. Why do I do this to myself?!!

The only upside is that I did get it all done. When Kid came home from school everything was perfect. Her pile of presents were waiting. The dining room and her bedroom were adorned with streamers (turns out you can throw those babies up in less than 5 minutes if you are really fast). The house was clean and her cake was waiting for her. She was pleased. And did feel that is was all done for her... and it made her feel special. It really did.

So how can I do all that and make her feel that way (which is the goal... and thankfully she was oblivious to the living Hell it was for me) and still enjoy myself? There isn't a thing (minus the cake... and even that wouldn't be so bad if I had time) that I'd want to take out of the picture. I still want a perfectly clean house. Is it just me or does everyone feel that way? ( I almost feel like I won't be able to enjoy the celebration if I don't have a clean slate.) I still want there to be some special decorations to honor the day and make the birthday kid feel loved and honored. So what can I change? Sure I could benefit from better time management... although with the wild one at my heels it really is next to impossible... I can only hope she's a little less crazy next year (wishful thinking I know). I could also use a more helpful spouse. Or do I just need an attitude adjustment?

Do you all feel this way?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What's Wrong With This Picture?

You see it's supposed to look like this..

I suspect this may be the culprit:

"Where is the rest?" Mrs F asks Baby

Baby runs for her life.

"Did you eat it?" Mrs F asks after tackling Baby to the floor.

"Uh huh." Baby replies.

Note to self... window gels look (and taste... apparently) a lot like gummy candy.

When I Said I Love These Things I Really Meant It

What is not to love about the Command hook people?! They go on fast and easy and are REMOVABLE... without damaging the wall surface! I can't get enough of these babies. Seriously....

Canine's leash hung out of Baby's reach (aka strangulation prevention):

No hall closet? Problem solved using Command hooks:

Our calendar hung on the side of our fridge (and this is a Note Nook calendar... the bomb of calendars):

Decorative Command hook used on our front door to hang wreaths, etc:

The holidays are coming.... fear not there are Command hooks for lights!:

Dress Up Corner brought to you by 12 Command hooks:

Last but not least.... the potty seat hook!:

Any 3M people out there? Mrs F would be more than happy to receive some samples!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Self Depreciation... Apparently It's Hereditary

"We practiced spelling today... You know what I'm best at?" Kid asks from the back seat.

"What?" I ask excitedly.

"Being the worst." Kid announces.


Good News, Bad News

The bad news is that I haven't lost any freaking weight. In fact it appears I've gained some! And don't go it's "all muscle" on me... cause my body fat is still stuck up at the same damn percentage.

The good news is that it's possible my jeans fit me a little bit better this week... and these are straight from the dryer:

This is last week's gut & butt photo shoot:

Speaking of diets... you know Mrs F has been doing IT all along... but I'm glad the media at large is finally catching on.
Thanks to Mary Poppins and my dear friend Alexis for passing that article on to me last night.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Self Preservation

Things Mrs F has yelled in the last 30 minutes:

"Get Off Of ME!!!"

"Get Out Of The Office!"

"Where Are You Getting All These PENS?!!!"

"I Mean It... I Need Some Space!"

"Who Left All These Bibles On The Floor?!" (who do you think?)

"Go Play With Some Of Your One MILLION Toys!!"

"No... No... NO!"

This Week The Plan

I'm tired. I'm tired like all the bone marrow has been sucked from my body. Today has been a rough one just to live through... let alone get anything done. I need to nap. I need children that nap.

Without further ado...


Monday - Salmon Noodle Casserole & Salad

Tuesday - Pancakes & Eggs (I'm getting my haircut... Mr F is tonight's Top Chef)

Wednesday - Chili & Rice

Thursday - Pork Tenderloin, smashed potatoes, acorn squash w/ brown sugar glaze I can probably pull out the cheapest week of all time if I just make Spaghetti & Broccoli

Friday - Tomato & Meatball Soup, Crescent rolls, Salad, Birthday Cake

Saturday - Turkey Noodle Casserole (still never made that)

Sunday - Asian Buffet

Exercise & Diet:

  • No soda
  • 5 hours of cardio... with 2 - 80 minute sessions
  • Stick under 1800 calories and keep up my food diary

Kid's Lunches:

Monday - rice, green beans & pork tenderloin (it was leftover), gogurt, milk; snack - smoked salmon & grapes

Tuesday - avocado sushi rolls, gogurt, milk; snack - smoked salmon & raspberries

Wednesday - goddamn spelt pizza, mixed veggies, gogurt, milk; hard boiled egg & raspberries

Thursday - pb&j, gogurt, milk; snack - kiwi & hard boiled egg

Friday - pasta & shrimp, gogurt, milk; snack - b'day class treat of popcorn & pineapple (that's all they can have)

(You can see that her lunches alone are eating us out of house and home!!!)

Chores & Errands:
Would like to clean my house.
Would like to clean off the kitchen counter.

Monday - finish putting away summer clothes and getting out winter clothes.
Tuesday - Toys R'Us for last birthday present, locate Birthday decorations!!!, haircut
Wednesday - wrap her presents, trial run on costumes
Thursday - make Kid's birthday cake & decorate it after bedtime.

  • Do not buy any new decorations.

  • May buy one dozen helium balloons for Kid's birthday.

  • Keep grocery spending down to $100.

  • That's all I've got for now.

    Check back for this week's Compacting challenge and so much more
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