If You Give A Cat A Bowl Of Milk...

It will come back when it's raining and ask you to build it a shelter.

If you build it a shelter it will want some super expensive all natural deli turkey to go with it.

If you give it some super expensive all natural deli turkey, it will want you to groom it.
If you start to groom it, you might start thinking you should take it to the vet.

If you take it to the vet, you just might have yourself a new cat...

Are You Kidding?!

Mr F just told me that our neighbor called (the one with the 30K over our price house on the market).
It sold FOR CASH.
In less than 2 weeks.
Oh, and he did it For Sale By Owner to boot.

The good news? (if you can call it that)...
He's prepared to rent our house come August, and buy our lot to build on. That's not really the best answer but it will at least help should we still be holding the house then.

But more than that, I'm just wondering what the fuck is going on?

Two more people came to our house yesterday. At this point we have had some ridiculous number of showings in the past nearly 4 months... I mean really... 80?...100? Something like that.
EVERY single person leaves feedback that the house is great, in excellent condition, a 4 or 5 out of 5, and that they are "Somewhat" or "Maybe" interested. But nobody (except those jackasses) comes back with an offer. And with our neighbor's house selling so quickly, for so much, I'm not even sure it's a price issue.

I mean CASH?! No realtor fee?! Kill me now, please.

Since we aren't getting any negative feedback we just sit wondering what it will take to get an offer.

Bueller?

Bueller?

Update

A lot of stuff has happened:

#1 Took my car in for an oil change and found out I need IMMEDIATE $1200 repairs before I drove to MI.
So, in an effort not to kill my children, I had to postpone our drive a bit until I could get that taken care of. That money had to come out of our moving fund... so U-haul it is.

#2 Mr F did come down and scoop up the apples. Of course the trees have only shed about half, so problem solved on the short term apple front only. He also did some major basement packing, and took a load of kid stuff to Goodwill (shhh) for me. I managed to pack up all my desk stuff (paperwork, etc), all our clothes, and the kids' most important toys & art supplies. I've got the house as good and closed up as I can manage without actually moving out.

#3 We are slumming it tonight crazy Super 8 style. God. It's awful. Ever since putting my No Ho In Hotel Act (aka not staying at motels anymore do to hooker sightings and all around creepy nastiness) into action the girls and I have been living large on the road thanks to Priceline. Well... see #1... and the fact that I haven't had internet access. So here we are. I just told the girls they had to keep their underwear on! And don't sit on the floor! Or the blankets!

"So that chain lock means that if someone tried to get in our room they could only get in the length of the chain?" Kid asks.

"um... right."

And later after discovering dried blood on the pillow:

"So someone's head was bleeding in the night?" Kid asks.

"um... right."

I'm not sure the $40 saving was worth it. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's not.

So, yeah, we're headed up to Michigan. Mr F left this morning and I waited and cleaned the house and then, miracle of miracles, loaded the car and the kids up at 6 PM after the car was finished. Oh did I fail to mention after walking with the kids to get the car in the blazing heat?! Our house is so empty (no food, no TV, no toys) that keeping the kids there for one more night would have been more painful than just hitting the road and getting as far as I could. And I'm just done cleaning, and one more night would mean more touch up cleaning... and it's just not worth it!

Only six and a half hours to go!

And about 3 more Mc Donald's stops!

Let's hope there aren't any bedbugs.

The insect carcasses on the bathroom floor kind of make me think there are.