Saturday Morning Musings

"How about getting some clothes on?" Mrs F suggests.

"I can't... I'm a nudist." Kid replies.


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"I need chocolate chips!" Baby demands while trying to scale the pantry.

"What do you need chocolate chips for?" Mrs F inquires.

"I need a chocolate chip for my mouth!" Baby replies.


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"You need to clean up your room. Someone could trip and die in here." Mrs F says to Kid.

"They might trip, but I scarcely think they would die." Kid retorts.


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In yesterday's Parent Council meeting someone brought up emergency plans. At some point the director mentioned in an off hand way sniper attacks as an example of an emergency the school might face. Shortly thereafter a mother suggested the school post their emergency plans on their website so that the parents could access them and be put at ease.

"I'm sorry... but you just mentioned sniper attacks... I think that posting the school's emergency plans on a public website is a terrible idea." I interjected barely able to contain myself.

Not that I think we're in danger of a sniper attack... but... come on.

Now you see what I'm dealing with...

MORONS

Oh No She Didn't

Last night Mr F went back into work. So instead of our usual nighttime routine I got to snuggle Kid instead of him.

"You are much warmer than Daddy." Kid remarked.

"My beauty gives off more heat." I replied teasingly.

"Well... that can't be true... you don't have very much of it." Kid stated matter-of-factly.

Nightmare

Last night I was dreaming... you know how dreams don't always make complete sense...

I was watching a girl (maybe 12) painting. She was painting the cover of a math book with one of those fan brushes and some mossy green paint. She painted all the edges and then impulsively, and confidently, she swirled a slightly imperfect infinity symbol in the center of the front cover.

I was looking from a distance that was impossibly close. An angle an observer wouldn't have with a naked eye.

Then I thought "Wow it must be nice to have such abilities... much more important than a sense of humor."

That's when I shot up in bed.

Whew... just a bad dream.

Meaningless Updates

It's been raining all day. I mean literally ALL day.

Have I ever told you how dark and cave like our house is?Especially on a rainy day?

It's ridiculous. It could be 9 AM, it could be 9 PM. There is seriously no way to tell.

Which just makes me feel tired and lazy. I mean how energetic and motivated can you be in boudoir lighting?

I did manage to rewash the laundry from last week.

Yes I said "RE- wash".

As in... when I took them out of the dryer they smelled like wet dog and not Bounty Fabric Softener.

But, honestly, I wasn't much interested in rewashing them just for the sake of smelling fresh. They were clean. I had already folded and put everything away... which is a considerable feat in and of itself.

Which turned out to be kind of awkward and nasty (I used a lot of perfume last week).

I was hoping it would kind of play out like the garlic theory... if we all smelled like wet dog maybe we wouldn't notice.

Wrong.

Today Kid informed me that her shirt smelled "terrible" and I knew it was true.

So I rallied myself. I went through all the drawers and closets in search of nastiness and I popped them all back in for a round two with EXTRA detergent.

And without the wad of smelly dishtowels I had in there the first time.

Oops.

Funny Stuff

"Award Winning 6'2" Humorist Speaker" is actually funny enough. I mean she had me with that.

Home Improvements

I've been working on finishing up small decorating tasks that we've never got around to completing this past year. Yes it has taken us over a year to address things like... our mantel... hanging pictures... touching up paint. Heck Mr F just finally hung our screen door!

I would have thought that the new plan of moving would have put a damper on my desire to fluff my nest but it's been quite the opposite. Having gone through this once in our old home (preparing to sell that is) I know that these things will need to be done to sell... and... you might as well enjoy the improvements a bit before handing them over.

Before we left on our vacation Mr F and I had been having some serious pow wows regarding our state of mid decoration around here. A lot of things were just not working. Our number one problem has been that we are trying to work furniture and art that was picked out for our old house into a completely different layout. Unfortunately this hasn't been ideal... but... it's a financial necessity. Our plan of attack is to really think about how we can utilize things we already own (some spray paint may be involved with this) and finally finish these big awkward rooms out.

One of the biggest eyesores has been the mantel.
(Valentine's Day display '09... note how that painting looks terrible and the broken clock.. also terrible)

Not the blue... it's funky... and I'm sure I wouldn't have done it on my own... but it does add some character to the room. Plus it kind of ties in all the bright plastic toys into our color scheme ;) I will say it doesn't photograph well and that it is a bit more subtle in person (I think). Either way since it doesn't need painting repair, and since plenty of the house does, we're not repainting. We just need to find a way to tie it into the room more. The previous owner had a fantastic painting up there.
(previous owner's decor... note how huge that painting is... sadly we don't have anything comparable size wise)

It tied the blue in perfectly and it was a real show stopper. As I said we have to work with what we have. We've got a few big pieces and we've tried them all. We've settled on this.
In truth I'm over it. I don't hate it but I don't love it and wouldn't buy it again. I got it for an apartment I had over 10 years ago. It's been used in the playroom since then since it's big and bright and colorful. It just so happens to have some blue in it and red... which ties in the stain glass windows that flank the fireplace. So it will work. It kind of has too.

Well for the past year the mantel has looked like shit. We've had one piece of art up there or another with a hodge podge of forgotten tools (you know it's true Mr F!), old birthday cards, a broken mantel clock that looked terrible but for some reason Mr F entered "mantel clock = must put on mantel" mode and put it out, and at times some framed pictures (also put out by the tard). Why on Earth was he decorating the mantel anyway? I don't know people... but when I had come home from the cottage he had done it again and it looked horrible. That's when I decided I had to make an effort to come up with a mantel display. Number one, so it would look better. Number two, so he wouldn't have room to stash stuff up there anymore.

Adding to our problems is that a lot of our stuff (breakables, vases, etc) have never been unpacked. We just don't have the storage here to put them away properly. I knew I wanted to fill out the mantel and I would need some bold colors to balance everything out. All we have unpacked are our Fiestaware pitchers and a few vases. I hit Michael's with a great coupon and for less than $8 I took it from this...

to this...

Now, typically I'm not a huge fan of artificial flowers but for $8 I've got a display that no one is going to see up close, that won't die, and can take us all the way until Christmas. You can't beat it.

But since I didn't have the right balance of vases, pitchers, I'm still not loving it. See how it's kind of heavy on the left and not so much on the right? When I hit the store I had no idea what I was going to put things in so I just grabbed things that didn't look horrifically fake. Now that I've spent some time arranging them I have a better idea of what I need and the flowers that looked too big in the store... are perfect once up on our mantel.

This is getting better...


I think I need to go back and get a couple more flowers to try and work on the glass vases a bit more. I wish I had some solid pottery vases that would balance things out better... but I'm thinking some bigger bolder flowers might help things in that department.

But since I probably won't ever go back for more flowers (just being realistic)... whatever it may not be perfect ... but it is still a HUGE improvement. And still under $10.

Nobody ever comes to our house anyway.

If There's Something Weird And It Don't Look Good ... Who You Gonna Call?

When we came home from vacation something really weird happened. The very first night home Baby became visibly agitated upon entering my room. She kept looking at the windows and saying "Winnows are gone."

Say what?

Seriously it was weird. The windows are exactly the same as they were when we left.

"No they're not sweetie the windows are there." I said trying to reassure her, thinking she must just be confused about there being a considerable downgrade in view from our Up North digs.

"Yes they are! The winnows are GONE!" She replied adamantly.

Alright weirdo.

I decided to drop it. But she kept bringing it up.

Try as I might I could not figure out what was wrong with the windows.

This has been going on for weeks.

The other night I came in the room and Baby was sitting on my bed staring at the windows and I overheard her saying...
"Stop that winnows! My mom is coming!" like she was trying to convince a bully to leave her alone.

Honestly she was starting to freak me out. I felt like we were having a Sixth Sense "I see dead people" moment.

"What's wrong with the windows?" I asked her again.

"They're gone." Came her familiar reply.

Flummoxed but desperate to figure it out I wondered if I should lower the shades (remember I made those weird faux roman shades which have been pinned in place?). She nodded emphatically.

So I did. I took out the pins in one of the shades just to see if it made a difference and she seemed relieved.

I only unpinned that one window the other one is still left in place as it had been. This didn't seem to bother her even though that was the window she was yelling at. It didn't really make any sense, but for some reason it appeased her.

Well, tonight I wanted to leave the window open so I pinned the one shade back up in place. I figured it had been a week since she'd mentioned it and maybe she was over it.

Baby walked in the room and noticed immediately.

"NO not like that!" She cried.

So I took it back down.

Then she demanded I lower the other one.

Weird.

Totally weird.

And creepy.

Really creepy.

It's Not Over Yet

I really hate the whole "Back To School" time. It seems to me that as soon as August rolls around we are supposed to get all whipped up into a froth buying supplies and getting our ducks in a line and completely forgetting that we still have THREE AND A HALF WEEKS OF VACATION LEFT! You know? It takes a lot of wherewithal to steel yourself and not get anxious along with all the school forms and supply lists that make their way into every mailbox you have.

Why is it that in August two weeks of vacation becomes a feverish "WE ONLY HAVE TWO WEEKS LEFT!!!" As if you were trying to finalize all your last minute wedding details. But in December two weeks seems like a nice long leisurely break.

I have been trying with everything I have in me not to let these past weeks become a blur of school prep, and getting "back on schedule", and to enjoy them for what they really have been... time off... of schedules and lunches... rushed evenings... morning fights over tangled hair and sock seams... days that instantly seem to become filled with all errands and no fun.

We still have 9 days off. And we're going to sleep-in and watch cartoons and stay nude (some of us) RIGHT up until the day we can't anymore.