I can relate to this whole thing except flip it around and its my parents. So Mr. is on the outside going what the hell this is not how family should be and stays out of the whole thing. I stopped talking to my parents because they have the same passive agressive nature I really just got tired of dealing with my parents its sad but when I feel like its more work to be in their lives than its worth then I dont think its worth it. I hope that Mr.Fs folks realize they're missing a great piece of their family!
OY. I'm so sorry to hear it.
This is very timely. Chris and I were just wondering what had been going on on the family front. I'm sorry you guys are going through this. Family is just so important. Unfortunately, too many of them want to sweep bad things under the carpet and not acknowledge they happened. Honesty is not encouraged or rewarded.I feel very sad for everyone involved. It's really too bad they are allowing this to affect their relationship with Kid and Baby by not being involved in their lives. They're missing out on some adorable little girls. And also missing out on the good man they raised.
mrs.f-thanks for the update. it's so wierd getting to "know" someone through a blog but i really appreciate your openness. i have always tried to rememember that you reproduce what you are. ie: you are always either reproducing heath or disfunction. KUDDOS to you and mr.f for reproducing health with your sweet girls. big ole fat bummer that mr. f's parents CONTINUE to try to reproduce disfunction. i am sad for them. this is their only shot at life and i, personally, think they're missing out on an incredible part of it. (maybe that's all just my passive agressive hope at communicating to them if they read you still. let me be more direct: "WAKE THE HELL UP PEOPLE!" :))
I'm sorry Mrs. F. It feels like it never ends sometimes, huh?
I don't know if you read my new blog or not, but (once again) I can relate! It really sucks to be the scapegoat for someone else's bullshit. I feel bad for Mr F. His feelings must be pretty hurt right now :(
Andrea,"I really just got tired of dealing with my parents "That's pretty much where Mr F is with his parents at this point.Heather,me too... really... it's not what I wanted to have happenMichelline,"And also missing out on the good man they raised."I'm sure Mr F appreciated that ;)But it is true and I don't know how to help either party move through this. I'm really damned if I do, damned if I don't in their eyes and always have been.Gooddog,"maybe that's all just my passive agressive hope at communicating to them if they read you still"I might have had some similar motivations when I did this ;)Danielle,just the other day I was thinking "I think Danielle started a new blog... or maybe not..."I'm going there right now...
So this, right now, seems like it's not so much "drama" as it is...just there. Something that is just constantly looming. Not what anyone in your family needs right now, but you don't need me to tell you that.Well, it's not for lack of trying on your or Mr. F's part. You're doing what's best anyway: raising your kids with love and respect.
P.O.M.,I have a feeling it really will never end ;)Smitty,Thanks :)
Here's the problem. My parents aren't equipped to handle conflcit with their kids. Not the adult versions anyway.What's making it worse and prolonging this is the fact that I cannot handle ANYTHING else on my plate right now. There is no capacity for me to be patching this together. So, it doesn't exactly "loom" it's more of an "out of sight, out of mind" situation for me—something I realize every once in a while, and say, "It's been how long?"It's also not a "stand-off." When things settle down, I'm perfectly willing to sit down and calll them, but there is just no room for that right now.
Mr F,I'm not so sure about that. I think it does loom and that you are aware of it. I think you have spent your whole life pushing down any kind of conflict and that it is easy and natural, if not unconscious, for you to keep doing that. I think everyone is waiting until it has been long enough that they can pretend it didn't happen.
I think everyone is waiting until it has been long enough that they can pretend it didn't happen.Are you SURE we're not related?? 'Cause I could swear you're talking about some of my close relatives.
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