You know the ones.... at 5 PM if someone had knocked on my door and said "You can choose life or death." I would've said "Death please."
Yes one of those days.
It wasn't that anything particularly bad or stressful happened, it was just exhausting. Kid has been sick ever since her sleepover. She has a very bad hacking cough and a slight fever and a sore throat. Awesome. Please don't give it to me. I had her stay home today... which was very difficult to do since I really hate that she has missed so much school lately due to the damn lice. On top of that Baby took one of her freakish late afternoon/early evening naps and was then up until MIDNIGHT on Sunday night. Added bonus I had to wake up early (even though my kids would be sleeping in) to watch the baby. So I went into it tired.
Then the baby is teething and was crabby and needing to be worn in the sling for LONG periods... which was killing my already fragile back. And the kids were bored of being quarantined AWAY from the baby. It was just awkward and a little stressful trying to keep him away from Kid while still meeting everyone's needs.
Kid was happy to just watch TV for a lot of the day until she was obviously starting to feel a bit better because then she started asking to do complicated art projects and whining to me about everything I was doing wrong. It was an awesome colliding of forces that had me trying to bounce the baby to sleep, while being told what I had promised but not done by Kid, while Baby informed me that she's been sitting around with a giant dump in her pants. If I hadn't been babysitting this is the moment I would have lost my shit. But, and this is the positive/negative of the sitting arrangement, I have to hold it together no matter the circumstance.
The baby went home at 5:30 and I just wanted to crumple to the ground. Everyone was crabby and hitting the wall and starving because I didn't really serve real meals today. Everyone was also still in their pajamas. And I just did not want to make dinner... but... I could see Baby getting all sleepy eyed and I was going to be damned if she screwed me over with a late nap again. I put a pot of water on and I called Mr F. I know he's on deadline and I was actually hoping he would say that he was going to be late so I could just go ahead and make dinner for the kids early. I really just wanted this day to be over. Plus eating now would keep Baby awake.
Well Mr F shocked me and said he'd be leaving soon and would be home BY SIX. Interesting since he is NEVER home by 6. So I put dinner off a little longer. I kept messing with Baby to keep her awake instead of lying on the couch and letting Ina take all my worries away. Then I started dinner.
Six o'clock... No Mr F. Six fifteen... No Mr F. At this point dinner is ready and I'm not waiting. The kids and I eat. As soon as I'm done... at 6:30... the time he normally comes home... he strolls in the door. He might as well have committed a war crime against me I was so pissed. And you know why. I could have eaten with the kids an hour earlier! I could have been one hour closer to finally getting a moment to myself! I didn't care what freaking time he came home... I just cared that he didn't have the courtesy to show me some respect and call. P.S. MR F.... DO NOT FUCKING LIE TO ME.
Now I knew I was entering rage territory and that I really needed to go workout before I stabbed someone (Mr F)... but... since Kid was feeling better and is returning to school... that means I needed to do a thorough lice check.
People, people! I am OVER the lice checks. I'm done. I just can't do it anymore. Instead of working out I spent over an hour going through her hair one row of hair (literally one hair deep) at a time. Mr F hooked up his special painters clip light so I could have a powerful spot light. Have you ever tried to brush your kids hair and had them kind of throw a mini tantrum because you pulled A hair?
Okay. Combing for lice is like living through that for an eternity. It is abusive to both of us.
Because her hair is literally (yes factually) the exact same color as the nits they are nearly impossible to see. Any shifting of light and you could lose one. Kid needs to hold her head perfectly still... um... and this is an understatement... that is extremely difficult for her. Which makes me sometimes grab her head and force it into position and think as I do it... "one more move and I'll snap your neck!" Seriously it's horrific. It is torture. After committing an hour to this process if she starts fidgeting and I lose a row the whole thing was a waste of time. If she goes to school and has even ONE nit she'll be sent back home. It is enough to bring me near tears at this point. Every time I go through I catch at least one. Even when I think I have them all. I've spent two hours with my back in the horribly painful half hunch necessary to see her hair line (which after two weeks has resulted in severe constant back pain) I'll find another one tomorrow. Or the teacher will. If there is a Hell in Hell you will have to pick nits off a seven year old. Have fun with that.
After all that I made everyone cookies.
Guess which two are mine?