Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What Have I Done??!

Why do I always do this stuff to myself?!! WHY??!!! WHY???!!!

Okay, so yesterday as I was waiting to pick up Kid from school her friend's mom showed up. I started talking about her birthday and our party plans. It turns out the friend's birthday is one week later. Kid wants a gymnastics party at a local gym. It is a bit more money than we'd like to spend but we didn't give her a party last year... so it's still cheaper than two parties ;)
As we were talking I said...

"Don't suppose you want to go in on the party?"

Dumb. Dumbity dumb dumb dumb.

I was thinking... HALF THE COST. I wasn't thinking that I would receive a huge long email manifesto about how they do birthday parties at midnight last night.

Note to self... do not check email before bed!

I couldn't sleep. It was stressing me out. This was a terrible idea! Saving 70 bucks wasn't worth this kind of aggravation!

So I got back up and responded. I tried to stand firm on that fact that I was just wanting a simple (SIMPLE) birthday party. Some cake, some pink paper plates... done. Seriously that is all I was going to do. It is actually important to me that just having a party at the gymnastics gym is ENOUGH for Kid. We save *special* for her birthday at home with us.

This is the email I received...
"We had a family discussion and it looks like we would like to share birthday parties, if that is still alright.
So how to do this? I have never planned a big party with someone else before, so I guess I will ask questions and talk about some of our traditions/desires that we are by no means married to.

-[Friend] usually does not get gifts from friends. Instead she asks friends to bring non-perishable food items for the foodshelf (as many as she is old) and we make a delivery together and volunteer for the afternoon. What do you think about that? Is this something that you guys might go for? I am sure [Friend] could live with getting gifts (ha), but it (the foodshelf) is a fun thing to do.
-[Friend] usually has an animal theme, this year she wanted it to be pandas. We could easily combine themes if you had something in mind. I have typically used the theme as a guide for goodie bags and some decorations. Again we are open to whatever.
-[Friend] and I usually make invitations together, usually a drawing she does of her animal theme. It might be cool to get them both to draw something for it. I would be happy to put it together and mail it out.
-She wanted to have a cake from Short Street Cakes
-I am really into low-waste parties. Perhaps together we could rally for reusable plates, decorations, cups, etc. again I am in no way attached.
-I am also really into handmade parties as well. I am sure I can trade for many decorations and favors on etsy.
-Are you thinking that we would invite the whole class (that was my thought), are there folks outside the class that you would invite? [Friend] has two/perhaps three kids that she wanted to invite. How many children can we invite?
-Oh yes and what are the details that you know about the rental-cost of the rental, time for set up, number of children allowed?
And... how do you want to go about figuring this all out? Is e-mail the best way? Should we sit down and figure it out detail by detail (that is what I am thinking). I am really open to over communication rather than under. I want to make sure that you feel like we are being fair and we are both having our needs met.

It is not that there is anything wrong with what they want to do. In fact I commend them for it. But, PEOPLE, I just don't have the time and energy for that right now. I don't even have the time or energy (or desire) to communicate about a birthday party that much. You know what I'm saying? I was just going to rent the place and show up with a cake.


Torey said...


Sorry. I guess I fail at birthday parties. We do a cookout.

Mrs. Smitty said...

I feel your pain. I too like "simple" parties - the kind where I rent a pavilion at a park with a playground and show up with cake, juice boxes and popcorn. I even make my sister bring the balloons and plates. This year I went all out and actually made the cake, that was a big deal for me.

I can't imagine having to juggle all of their simple ideas. Good luck! Could you maybe offer to take care of the rental and cake and she could do the homemade invites and whatever? Might make it easier on you.

moley said...

Oh no nightmare!

Could you back out by saying something like you've spoken to kid and she is a bit disappointed that she won't be the centre of attention and as she didn't have a party last year you really feel that you need to make it extra special for her.

Running in Alabama said...

umm...since the beginning of time...I buy pizza, popcorn, cake and a movie. They are allowed to invite 3 friends to spend the night as long as the parents understand that I am locking me and the dogs in the bedroom with a bottle of wine...I wake up, vacuum popcorn, stop the movie, feed the dogs the leftover cake and open the door and let the parents take icing-smeared kids, dogs and Napa Valley adore me :)

Supermom said...

Ummm, she doesn't read your blog does she??????

Good luck with that one Mrs F!! I am curious to see the outcome!!

<3 Michelle

Mrs Furious said...

"Ummm, she doesn't read your blog does she??????"
lol... No. If she did I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have agreed to share the party in the first place ;)

taking Baby to the storytime... I'll be back... maybe by then she'll have gotten back to me!

Robyn said...

Just tell her you were going to rent a place and show up just like you said. I also like moley's comment.


Andrea said...

Since I have no experience on the party front yet I can only suggest that I would say it just like Robin put it I was just planning on showing up. I mean really the whole theme go out of your way prep for a month stuff do kids really care, I think parents do it for themselves. Watch me put my foot in my mouth check back with me in a couple of years :)

HC said...

Run awaaaaaay!!!!


sara said...

Will "Friend" be passing out homemade granola as a party favor?

Oh man Mrs. Furious, this might be intense :/


Kelly said...

I couldn't deal with that! I always just make a cake and my kids pick their favorite dinner for me to cook. Throw in a few presents and you're done. If I was in your shoes, I'd just tell the lady that it was all a bit much, and that I like simplicity. Good luck!

P.O.M. said...

That gave me a headache just reading it.

Run like the wind.

Our bday parties involved a cake with a ballerina on top and a pinata in the backyard. Yes, I said "our" because I always had to share with my little sister.

wootini said...

Yikes - I second POM and Moley. Get out of this one if you can.


Chrissy said...

Holy Crap Mrs F!

Inappropriate responses:
1. My kid is in it for the presents.
2. I think the "theme" is gymnastics.
3. I'm doing whatever the gymnastics place provides.

Or what Moley said.

We did a combined 5 year old party with one of Cameron's school friends. Same birthdate, same kids - made it really easy. We used all the supplies that Pump it Up provided and bought a cake at Harris Teeter. Plan the party after lunch so all you do is cake/ice cream.

Good luck!

Amy said...

What have you done? You've made me break out in snorting laughter. That's what you've done.
Lots of luck...

Nann said...

Tell me you made up that email... OMG!!!!

Mrs Furious said...

Ladies I am so glad you all think she is as nuts as I do! I was really wondering if it was just me. I haven't heard back from her yet so I don't know if they've decided to bail on it or not. I do plan to say when I see her this afternoon...

"I'm really worried that I've put you guys in a bad position. I don't want you to have to compromise your ideals and I totally understand if you want to have your own party."

LOL... last year that is what one kid gave out!!!!

I wish I had made it up! This kind of material just falls in my lap. ;)

Supermom said...

I'd just tell her what usually do for birthdays and she may even change her mind!

I read your blog and I'd have a par-tay with you. I'd bring all the DISPOSABLE plates and napkins I could fit in a bag! Not to mention that yummy LARD icing all over the cake!!! So, when do you want to have a party together?? We can celebrate all the days that end in "Y"!

Feener said...

my thoughts....and please no offense taken - why on heaven's earth would you ask someone to share, this will only cause drama. i can see 2 of my good friends asking folks to share and then bitch about how it was not such a good idea.

stop being so social, if you were a bitch like me and never talk to anyone were problem would be solved.....

you know i am saying this with love

Marie said...

OK...and this just confirms our stance on a family only party! When the girls get bigger and WANT to have friends for their bday I think we'll go with the 2-3 friends for a sleepover or such. Our family parties involve cake from the supermarket, an 8pk of hats (one for each kid in the family) and 1pk streamers to decorate with. Occasionally we go "crazy" and get an 8-pk of those blow-things. We do go "low waste"..but thats just because we use the dishes IN OUR HOUSE.

I say BAIL, have kids party the way she wants (simple, no up with cake style) and...if you REALLY want to be mommy of the year...don't get her canned veggies to give away as her present!

Of course I sound uber-anticrunchy, but birthdays are a time to celebrate and traditions (gift, cake made with lots of SUGAR) rule in our house. We save our crunchiness for the rest of the year!

Marie said...

LOL--Feener has the best response ever!

Be a bitch. What a simple solution!! And it applies in so many areas! :)

sara said...

Hehe I bet Kid's granola was delicious!!

Robin said...

oh. my. god.

Me, Only Better said...

Wow - she needs to have her own party. Really. She does. The money = not worth the agravation or stress.

julie said...

Um, don't do it. It will end up being more stressful than necessary with this mother. Share a party sometime with SuperMom:) instead.

The whole point of doing a party at a place and not at home is so it is EASIER. You are already paying the place money.

I did share a party with one of Jack's best friends in Kindergarten at a gymnastics type place. It is interesting to see how some people do things. Thankfully the other mother was keen on saving money, but boy did I learn how spoiled and entitled her kid was. Jack is super laid back so he didn't care, but NEVER AGAIN. And the mom in my case did not send a Birthday Manifesto like your freak did.

BsOnlyToots said...

That is insane! I agree with the others and think you should bail on her! LOL Tell her the extended family (that you are not really expecting) cant make it in that weekend so you are going to have to push the date out a week or two. lol

northerngurl said...

I think less planning goes into the Emmy Awards. Holy crap!

P.O.M. said...

Any updates on this??

michelline said...

Our birthday parties are usually not elaborate. They might cost a pretty penny, but I don't think having a blow up in my back yard counts as elaborate. It's easy and then I don't have to entertain the monsters. We do usually have WAY too many people (40-50 usually) but then I have a large family and they tend to like to be invited. But pizza and cake are both pretty easy :)

I think her email was pretty nice, but a bit too involved for a birthday party. Wow!

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