We are going to take a wild ride through my own special brand of craziness.
So because I spend a lot of time housebound with a sleeping kiddo I also have found myself spending a fair amount of time online. And as I have written before I spend a fair amount of time reading what the FlyLady emails me everyday and then not doing any of it... well the cleaning that is. I have been suckered into buying things from most of the FlyLady affiliates. Last week I actually bought a book written by her vet... kind of a country vet memoir.. why?... I don't really know. When you are in the FlyLady's domain you start to lose any shred dignity you had left.
Before you know it you find yourself subscribing to a crazy personal shopper called Missus Smarty Pants. Yes it is as bad as it sounds. For one thing you have no idea if this woman has good taste... or taste you would like... there are no photos available until you join. You also have no idea if she is 35 or 85 years old. I mean I already told you how cheesy the graphics are over at FlyLady so you can imagine this is just as bad...and if they think that their sites look *cool* joining this thing would be like the worst thing you could do... right? RIGHT? RIGHT!?! Well..... I did.
Not only did I join up for one season which is $9.95... mere pennies really... but I signed up for the ID Me ($10) so that Missus Smarty Pants herself could determine what body type I had. I am a "B" as it turns out... that is a B as in Bad Ass. Then you get a weekly newsletter geared toward your body type with photos (and links!... yes more time online!) of clothes you can purchase either online or at readily accessible retailers (read Target). The pitch is that you'll save money because you will no longer buy things that don't flatter you and you end up leaving on the floor (or is that just me?). As luck would have it my first weeks newsletter featured Overstock.com. I quickly ordered 1 shirt, 3 sweaters, a dress, and a pair of pants. (What!?! I just lost 60 pounds!... Back Off!) Thankfully overstock has a $2.95 shipping fee so this didn't totally kill me. Unfortunately I now have 2 sweaters, a dress, and a pair of pants to return and the Post Office doesn't offer me that same shipping rate!
The funny/scary thing is after getting all this stuff I was a little worried that every week I was going to have this crazy shopping temptation in my inbox and instead of saving me money on clothes I didn't wear I was going to be spending 10 times as much on jewel toned wrap style tops (turns out I'm a winter!). But never fear once I got my membership I was able to look at the previous couple of weeks of clothes and SWEET JESUS the Overstock.com week was the only week that featured anything remotely *cool*. And I'm not speaking from on high since literally 98% of my clothes are from Target but the previous stores were Dress Barn and Metrostyle. Metrostyle?!? I'm not a weird 80s hooker! And yes people click on that link... that my friends is one of the tops she recommend I buy! You have got to be freaking kidding me!
Now my $29.95 hasn't all gone to waste... last week one of her tidbits was invaluable to me. So listen up my peeps... take your style cues from TV. Now this probably sounds like a no brainer... but I pretty much only watch Biggest Loser reruns these days so picking up style tips hasn't really been an option. But the new season has a new host Allison Sweeney (god I did love Caroline and her crazy style... not crazy in a good way though... crazy like I can't believe someone told you to wear that on national TV)... anyway back to Ms Sweeney... while I was watching the premiere over again while working out last night I was totally aware of her clothing. And she seems to be a "B" too and she is actually stylishly dressed. She was even wearing a wrap style dress... key piece for a "B" it seems. And tonight while watching the Closer I noted that Kyra Sedgwick is also a "B"... and what did she have on?... you guessed it... a wrap style dress! Now where can I find me a wrap style dress?
So it wasn't all for naught was it?
And never fear I'll let you know how the vet's memoir turns out ;)