Why, Whatever Do You Mean?

"Hey, Are you sure you don't want to take your shower first?" Mr F asks.

"Yeah. Why?" I reply thinking he's trying to get out of cleaning the shower.

"Well, because, if we have to leave suddenly I'm fine... but... your hair is a little crazy." Mr F explains.

Bitch Fest Friday

Let it out.

Good News

Well, people, we had two showings first thing this morning.

Awesome.

You know that when you are looking at a house and then someone else shows up to see it, it just makes you want to buy it.

People are competitive like that.

Well, it would make Mr F & I want to buy it.

The good news is that within 24 hours of the listing 2 families immediately wanted a showing. Which kind of validates our price point.

Especially since I saw one couple, that came 1st this morning, circling our house last night right before we got the call for the showing. That means they were interested even before they saw the inside. And the inside is nicer.

I don't want to get too confident. What are the chances that both of our houses would sell in the first showing?!

But I do feel validated.

I also feel like if I ever have to get the house ready to show first thing in the morning, with Mr F & the kids getting ready to leave at the same time, someone will die. And that someone will be Mr F.

The Deciding Factors

The Details... AKA... no you didn't miss something... we just didn't tell you

Remember when Mr F was interviewing for a job in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  Then after 6 agonizing months they finally offered it to him?  Then we turned it down?

Okay back up to the "then we turned it down" part.

We thought we would turn it down.  We planned to turn it down.  We maybe should have turned it down.

But after a week of thought and number crunching... and then finding out Mr F didn't get the other job in Des Moines (and we cannot underestimate the influence of that)... and thinking... and number crunching... and negotiating with HR...

We accepted it.

Are there downsides to this new job?  Yep.  Big time.

You see the reason we were going to turn it down was because after offering him the job at X pay the magazine put the offer through to corporate HR.  Then HR said "wait we changed that position to Y pay".  Let's just say the difference between X & Y is 30%.  For real.  Taking this from a no brainer "take it" to... "what is this move worth to us personally?".  

That was a really hard decision.  Y pay is not moving us out of our current financial situation. But staying here isn't either.  

Staying here means losing money every month on housing we cannot afford.  

Point blank... we cannot stay here.  We'd be leaving on the next job offer that came along.  We'd have to.  No matter where it was or how much it paid.

That could mean taking Kid out of school after this year (one transition) then homeschooling her or getting her into a new public school only to pull her out and move mid year to another school.  Got that?  That's three transitions in one year.  Not ideal.

Oh did I mention that as much as Mr F likes his job that his work load is borderline undoable and that he often works until 3 AM?  And that he comes home and complains about it to me... when I don't even want to live here... when we're living here for him to have this job?  And that he doesn't make enough to pay our bills?  

Ann Arbor offers:

CHEAPER (vastly) housing

MUCH better schools (even the outlaying towns... we're talking rated 10 out of 10)

MUCH better early childhood options & recreations classes for kids

MUCH better doctor/hospital system

MORE job opportunities for Mr F & Mrs F (he already was contacted about another job there)

FRIENDS

FAMILY

(Oh and Mr F gets the perks of driving the fleet of test cars with free gas & insurance)

Asheville offers:

The potential to go bankrupt.

For one thing any other job Mr F might get while we lived here he could pursue from Ann Arbor as well if he wanted to, so there is no reason to carry this house while he does that.

Also, this is the best time of year to sell our house.  If he was offered another job in 6-9 months we would not stand as good of a chance of clearing our equity.  The timing of this move is perfect.  Mr F leaves in a couple weeks.  The girls and I will stay here until the house sells or the end of the school year... whichever comes first.  The reality is that in the last 20 months it is unreasonable to expect to have made money on this house.  We are looking at eating the realtor fees which at our house level are a huge pill to swallow.  BUT housing is so much cheaper in Michigan right now that we couldn't be moving there at a better time.  Any loss we face here will be more than made up for in the rock bottom prices in Michigan.  We're looking at getting a house for 1/3-1/2 of our current house price.  That is amazing!  

Plus, the new job is with a major magazine.  This is, while not a step up financially, not a step down career wise.  It is a definite step up, even his current employers could concede that and understood his decision.  The new magazine is also willing to let him work freelance to offset the paycut.  They are even going to give him freelance.  So that is encouraging.  When we were in MI before Mr F made more than half of his income in freelance and his biggest paying clients are... where?... oh yeah... in Michigan.  We don't have any options like that here.

The scary part is walking away from a house & job that are known and on some super lame level working.  You know?  We don't know what is going to happen next.  We don't know how much equity we'll lose here (hopefully none!!! positive energy peeps).  We don't know where we'll move (house or town specific) or when.  We don't know how stressful being separated for 3-4 months will be on our family (especially stressful to Mr F if it turns out I like it).  We don't know if I'll gain 50 pounds and start drinking Margaritas for dinner.

But we do know that next year we'll be in a better place.  Physically & emotionally. Maybe even financially.  Worst case scenario I have to supplement our income (wait I already do!)... and at least there I'd be doing it while benefitting in every other realm of our life.

Hey

Did you ever want to see our house?

We're

Moving

To

Michigan

Wait For It

Weekend Update

Things are coming along.

This will be the last weekend we spend sprucing up the house.

The realtor didn't have anything he thought we needed to do.

That's a good sign (right?). I think so.

But...

Mr F has decided to repaint 75% of our woodwork. Have you ever seen our house? We've got moldings up the wazoo. This is a major project.

The kids are belting out Taylor Swift.

I'm about to knock out another 2 continuing education credits.

I alternate (minute by minute) between excitement and anxiety.

The reality is that over the next few months I am going to pay the brunt of the price for this.

But I believe we're, ultimately, making the wisest choice.

Monday a photographer comes to take pictures and our house should be listed by Thursday.


Coming Up:

Mrs F doing our taxes.

Mrs F trying to get 36 more continuing education credits in the very same 60 days.

Mrs F continuing to watch kids 4 days a week while keeping the house ready to show at a moments notice.

Mrs F doing every other thing necessary to run our household. For real.

Mrs F spending nights and weekends culling our belongings in the basement to the absolute bare minimum. (Read: I'm never doing this again. If we're not keeping it for the next 50 years it's headed to Goodwill. I mean how many times are we going to move boxes we haven't opened? This could be officially 3 moves. Same unopened boxes. I'm not even opening them, people, they're out of here. Don't tell Mr F)

Mrs F developing a drinking habit? (just kidding... maybe)

Not Coming Up:

Mrs F making any progress in the diet and exercise realms. Fuck it. I am a human. I will continue to workout as much as possible (currently only 3-4 days/week) and try not to eat like a pig. My big goal is to make this major transition without gaining weight. I think that will be accomplishment enough.

Mrs F cooking 21 balanced meals from scratch every damn week. We will be eating pizza a minimum of 3 times a week. Call CPS.

Mrs F getting any sleep... of that I can assure you.

Bitch Fest Friday

Lay your bitchin' on me.

I'll start...

I just changed THE most disgusting poop diaper of all time.

It took me TWENTY wipes to get that booty clean.

Sometimes when I'm doing something like that I think...

"You cannot come up with enough financial compensation to make this worthwhile for me."

I mean... I am not the one who thought it was a good idea to serve this kid a pound of black beans yesterday... and I should not have to clean up the shit storm.

Did I mention that this is a little boy?

I'm still not totally used to changing boys.

Well the necessity of 20 wipes and the need to actually clean all his parts resulted in something that shall remain nameless.

But believe me when I tell you I have never been more traumatized.

Ever.

Ever.

I just wanted to clutch my face and scream "MY EYES!  MY EYES!"

But then I might have gotten Ecoli in them and died.

Girls might have more 'tude but they don't traumatize you when you change their diapers.

And there is something to be said for that.

Contradictory Terms

Realtor walk through today.

Of course, as luck would have it, I also have 3 kids under 3 today too.

Let me tell you, this motley crew of toddlers is not down with the new house rules.

Subsequently my stress level is through the roof.

Ouch

This morning I rubbed Baby's back.
I've been trying to give in more to her cuddly neediness. It'll end. And she obviously needs me more than I sometimes think.
She's an interesting dichotomy that way.

While I rubbed her back I thought of preschool.

And the fact that she's three now, not the baby we let her pretend to be most of the time.

I thought, maybe, it was time to start introducing her to her name.

You know... how to write it.

It's not her fault that her name is the longest name in the history of the world.

Good God I think back to the nervous breakdown Kid had when she had to master her name for preschool and her name is only 4 letters. Nine letters?! What the hell were we thinking.

That's why I thought maybe we should start now. Give it some time to sink in.

I grabbed a notebook and started to write her name. Then scribbled it out remembering too late that little kids start with all capital letters.

So I wrote her name several times and then made dotted letters for her to outline.

She was pretty outraged.

"Those are not ABCs!" Baby said agitated.

"Yes, they are." I reply then start to trace one for her "See? You write on top of them to make your letters."

"I want them to Shut Up." Baby says showing a disgruntled attitude usually associated with her older sister.

"Shut up?" I ask slightly confused... you know cause the letters aren't really talking... but, hey, either were my windows.

"Yeah." Baby replies.

"What do you mean, shut up?" I ask.

"It means you shut your mouth." Baby replied with contempt.

Alrighty then.

She might not be ready for preschool but she'll fit right in with the mean girls in high school.

Mr F Is Going To Try And Deny This...

But he watches The Bachelor.

Don't pay any attention when he chimes in to say "Not really... I'm just trying to spend time with Mrs F and she watches it." or "It certainly isn't what I would chose to watch." or some other lame excuse.

Don't believe a word he says. He doesn't just watch it... He's into it.

Last night Mr F declared...

"If he doesn't chose Tenley I'm boycotting the final episode."

The proof is in the pudding, my friends.

Weekend Update... More Of "Ahh That Feels Better"

Before:

After:
Don't mind those drying sweaters. Once we finish this room tonight I'll change the pictures out. The color of this room is not one we chose... do not judge. It's more like the top picture than the bottom.

The other side of the room has my desk (cleaned off) and two closets. We still have my small Hoosier baking cabinet in here and that is going down to the basement tonight. More pictures later.
And for those of you worried about the shared desk situation... problem solved:

Sucks to be you, Mr F (don't worry about him it's warm by the furnace)

Girls' Room:
Sadly, I do not have a before shot. You've probably seen it before. Mr F and I love this room but usually it looks like a cyclone just went through it. I got rid of 3 circle area rugs and moved the bigger rag rug. I got rid of 2 huge pink stuffed animal bins and replaced them with 3 under the bed storage containers on rollers (they were $9.99 each and they are slightly taller than typical yet less deep so they fit easily side by side perpendicular to the bed frame). One has the majority of their dress up stuff. Remember the dress up corner behind the door?... yes... we needed to minimize that for showings. Gone also is their pink dress up chest. So some serious decluttering went into this room and it looks fantastic.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Yet another year wherein Mr F gives me a sentimental card and I give him one like this...

Finally

Sure I'm getting ready to leave this house. But I finally figured out a good window treatment for those side windows that overlook our screened in porch. They've been the bane of my decorating existence because I needed something that didn't clash with the velvet drapes I already had... and I didn't want to spend more than a couple of bucks... and I needed something that could completely block out the sun as these are East facing windows. The velvet drapes are actually a deep dusty grape color the new roman style shades are brown sail cloth. Whatever. Close enough. I've spent close to 2 years trying to find curtains that were a closer match and I'm over it. All of our doors are a very dark brown stain and they match that. I got the new rod and shades for about $30. I feel pretty good about it.

Good News

Mr F and I have settled on a plan of action. The past couple of weeks have been stressful and some words have been expressed (to put it gently).  I think we have a better understanding about how we all feel and we have been able to apply that knowledge to a good resolution.  I am feeling greatly relieved.  We all are.  

Now hopefully the procrastination can come to an end.

Today we are tackling some house projects and moving our house forward.  

Expect greatness mediocrity (or at least not trash covering the floor) out of our office... I hope.

I'm also doing a major cull on the girls' room and toy shelves in our living room... this is always a sensitive special ops project.  Thank God it snowed again and I can banish them out for a bit.  Of course when I did that yesterday I ended up being summoned to the back yard by Baby's screams... running through the snow in my socks mind you... apparently Kid "accidentally" (accidentally on purpose) hit her in the face with a large stick.  She looks like she was in an alley fight.  Thankfully for Kid she doesn't hold a grudge.  

That's all for now...

Mr F is starting on his side of the office.

Pray for us...

Bitch Fest Friday

... because it's been awhile and I need it.

People, I am really suffering right now.  I'm having so many feelings that I feel like I want to explode with the biggest tantrum of all time.  One thing that sucks about having kids is that you have to hold yourself together.  And right now that is hard.  

You know how when you were in school and you had finals and you had 4 major papers you had to write with a million references footnoted (and this was in the days of researching on microfiche!!!) and you were procrastinating and waiting until about the last possible minute to start (36 hours before it was due... on a good day).  And you got all ready to get down to business and then suddenly you were so inexplicably tired.  You could not stay awake.  You know it isn't helping matters but it's like you've been struck with procrastination induced narcolepsy.  

Was that just me?

Well THE SAME SHIT is going down right now.  I keep falling asleep... and, people, I do not fall asleep.  I never took a nap the entire time I had a newborn.  I am hardcore.  And here I am yesterday sound asleep with Baby putting a crown on my head and slapping me in the face with a diaper.  

I just cannot deal with how out of control I feel and I am shutting down.

Oh and yesterday Baby got one of those giant hives that aren't hives but some more severe allergic reaction that landed her in the ER a couple of months ago.  Awesome.  That cost us $300 out of pocket because our shitty health plan does not have a fucking ER co-pay.  So she's walking around with her spots circled in marker and we're hoping she successfully fights this off today and I don't have to take her in.  

She's pissy because she doesn't feel good and I'm pissy because I'm just pissy and today is going to be a good day.

Oh and last night Kid was being a smart ass at the table during dinner and correcting me... she's in that phase... you know the one that starts at 6 and ends at 96 where your children have to correct you.  It's ultra annoying.  Especially when they are wrong (I never am... right Mom?). Well I was informing her of how annoying it was and Baby looked at me across the table and said "Stop Talking And Eat Mom."  She was right... I was on the verge of losing my cool.  And then later when I was getting in bed with Kid to read to her I told her "I'm having a really bad day if you didn't notice."  It was kind of like an apology... right?  Yes that is what I thought.  And then she said "Yeah... you didn't even thank me."  Which was so ridiculous, and funny, and typically seven, that it actually cheered me for a minute.  I'm still not clear on what I was supposed to have thanked her for...

Valentines are In The Mail

I got this super cute set of retro Golden Books Valentines at Barnes & Noble for Kid to put together. Adorable. And they were shockingly under $5.
(Excuse the sideways photos... sometimes I hate Blogger)

Doppleganger

Wishing my gag order was lifted and with it my creative brain block? Me too.

Things I can tell you...

Last night I made Mr F spew chewed pretzels and water all over himself and the couch.

How?

Well, we were watching The Biggest Loser.

During the weigh-in Sherry (the pink team mom) starts toward the scale and Mr F says "She's the one I'm nervous for."

"Yeah, plus I like her." I say.

Then add...

"Cause I'd look like her if I was fat."

Right then the camera scanned her body.

And Mr F started laughing so hard he actually started throwing up.

Which was disgusting... but... also hilarious. And in part to get out of the range of fire but also because my body had gone limp with laughter I fell to the ground and lay there convulsing. Which only made his condition worsen. And I turned to look just as I saw another round of pretzel and water come propelling out of his mouth.

Of course what was so funny about this was that his immediate free flowing laugh attack was an undeniable open acknowlegement that YES that is what I would look like.

Which was kind of an insult.

But I had hit the nail so firmly on the head that any normal husband to wife filter was trumped and the truth came out... along with the pretzels.

And it couldn't have been funnier.