Questionable Motivation aka Failing To Succeed

I think the thing that I'm willing to acknowledge after 8 months or so of yo-yoing is that I've spent the last 8 months waking up hoping to succeed and not planning to succeed.

The difference between what I did last year and what I'm doing this year is that last year I had everything in place to make the right choices. I had to try to fail. Now I don't have anything in place and I'm just hoping it works out.

And it's not exactly working.

Maybe with that realization I'm one step closer.