Time Traveling

22 months ago at ages 9 & 5:

TODAY at ages 11 & 7:

What the hell??!!?

Please note Baby's head in relation to the light switch.

And Kid's legs in relation to...

oh... I don't know...

The Empire State Building.

Try And You Shall Succeed (because the real success is learning to let yourself try in the first place)

Yesterday, a friend told me about a free basketball clinic for 4th & 5th grade girls.

I wasn't sure if that is something Kid would be up for... I mean, it is the weekend when she typically reads for 48 straight hours... but she surprised me and good naturally agreed.

She has the courage to try a lot more things lately.  More often than not, these days, her desire to do things overrules her worrying nature.

But she still struggles with anxiety. (who doesn't?!) So, I wasn't surprised when the reality of what she'd committed to washed over her later last night.

I'd been waiting for it.

I said:

"I get it, I'm the same way.  You want to do something, but you get so worried about all the things you don't know about the situation, and you get nervous and wish you'd never agreed to it (um... hello... bread baking... I mean I GET IT).  But, just like me, I know you'll... "

and before I could finish...

Kid said:

"Freak out and eat bread products all day."

(Then we laughed hysterically)

And I finished:

"Well, yes, that... but I meant that I know you'll do it and be glad you did."

It was tough going, I'm not going to lie.  The first 15 minutes had no structure (which = hell) and she didn't know anyone and wanted to leave and was kind of shutting down...  just wandering around the court not really doing anything. (except occasionally shooting death rays at me from across the court)

And while, I know, some of you can't relate... I also know that the vast majority of you CAN.

How many times do you voluntarily agree to attend a function on your own, knowing no one, and then top it off by openly demonstrating your physical vulnerability in front of spectators?  I sure as hell don't.

I think, a lot of times, people forget that kids aren't any different.  They really aren't immune to social anxiety, even if our culture seems to think that they should be. (Plus, they can't self medicate with a beer while they do it)

So, I was incredibly proud of her for taking the step to even show up.

And I knew that as soon as there was an organized program she'd do fine. And every time we can show up and push through the hard start she gains confidence that she can do it.  She can do things she wants even if they scare her.  She can surprise herself.

She's learning that there's a reward for sticking through the awkward beginnings and self doubt. (which, frankly, I'm still trying to learn myself)

And she did:

 She even won the dribbling contest.

 And there were moments when she was LOVING it:

She even agreed she'd go back if they hosted another.  And that is success.  

(Because I forced myself to attend a Pampered Chef party once and I swore I'd never go back)

Plus, dude, check out Kid's legs:

They kind of counterbalance the genetic anxiety genes.  Right?

This Is Bizarrely Longer Than I Intended (and the really good parts are towards the end)

I'm not sure, but I don't think most 5th graders have tests that require them to write 5 short essays from memory...  I mean, their tests have no fill in the blank or multiple choice questions.  All of the questions are essay questions.  I really don't think I was doing work like this until middle school or high school... or maybe college... and I went to some mighty fine schools.  No multiple choice?! Ever?  I remember having an essay question or two... or maybe writing a long essay FROM HOME but on the spot 5 essays on a test?  For 10 & 11 year olds?  I don't know...  It is a lot of studying to do these test well and they only handed out the essay topics on TUESDAY.  Plus she had basketball practice both nights.

After basketball practice on Tuesday she reads the chapter and writes out the vocabulary words (which they are also tested on).  Yesterday, we worked out what the essays points should be and she worked on memorizing those last night and during school today.  Then after basketball tonight Kid spent an hour and a half writing them out for practice.

That's her way to an A+.   It is a lot of work to do this, but it works for her and I find having her physically write them out, rather than just read the material and memorize the key essay points allows her to fully absorb the material in a much more concrete way.  The same with vocabulary.  I have learned that if I have her look up the words and physically write out the definitions she naturally memorizes the terms through the process, faster and with less stress.  It also eases her test anxiety on test day when she has essentially already taken the test the night before.  I cannot believe she can memorize all those essays, plus Memory work, and 25 spelling words & 15 vocabulary words all for one day... but she can. Her rise to top student has been epic.  Really, it is mind boggling how far she has come in a couple of years.  She has really learned to master her anxiety.  I am continually amazed by her.  And she literally has a 4.0 in all her classes this semester and is the top student in her grade.  Her teacher had nothing to say about her during conferences except "Well, she is an exemplary student."  End of conference.  He had nothing else to say... at all (for real). (Which kind of irked me, honestly)  He took it for granted that this is just how she is and I took the time to make it clear that this is not EASY for her and does not come easily... she works incredibly hard and is an amazingly dedicated student.  He had no idea that she spends so much time on her homework and studying.  Give this kid a doctorate, already!

I'm just proud of her.  If you've been here awhile you know this has been a BUMPY road for her (for me, too).


So, we made it through our first big challenge of test prep and basketball.  I was eaten up with anxiety about this all week (I wonder where she gets it?!?).  I wasn't sure how we'd find the time... but we did it. (and we never got take out!)

All with help from a little ditty I wrote last night:

I can do it!
I can get through this...
I can do it, I can do it (in my sexy socks)
I can do it (in my sexy socks)

repeat and jazz it up
throw in a little back up singing
ala Kid style:
she can do it in her sexy socks
or:
sexy, sexy, sexy socks
or:
super, super, sexy socks
or better:
look at those sexy socks!

Baby walked in the room in the middle of our lively rendition and said:

"Those are knee high socks... they are NOT sexy."

To which I informed her that the song was IRONIC.  Duh, Baby.  Duh.

And...

She shoots:

She scores:

"I can't wait for basketball practice, tomorrow!"  Kid said excitedly.

All in all... success.

Phew.

We can do it.  We can get through this.