Fat Butt

Well it turns out that if you don't move (at all) you need a lot less calories to maintain your weight. I've learned this the hard way... as I've been gaining EVERY single day since I broke my ass. It's not just the lack of workouts, I'm typically a pretty active gal throughout the day, so logic would tell you that I should be eating less now that I'm laid up. Unfortunately my biggest eating signal is boredom. And, well, I've been just a tad bored lately.

I know I shouldn't worry about my weight and should focus on recovery... but... that isn't going to happen. I tried that for the first week and I have to say it isn't helping my whole disposition to also feel out of control regarding my weight. I need to take some responsibility for the constant stream of gingerbread men that have been marching down my throat. I need to figure out exactly how much I can eat without gaining while lying on the couch all day. I fear it might be dramatically less than I'm used to.

Mr F just said "At least you should have the confidence that you can take off whatever you put on when you're better." Hmm... well I don't. Bodies change. I'm two years older. Our will power ebbs and flows. What if I'm never recovered enough to workout as hard as I used to? I don't want to lie around starving myself, but I don't want to make my situation any harder either. Gaining unnecessary weight isn't helping me heal... I'm just taking advantage of the situation to sabotage myself. And it's worked. I'm not just in pain, now I feel badly about myself for giving into stupid mindless eating, and I feel badly every morning when I have to stuff myself into my ever shrinking clothes.

I might not be able to lose this weight without exercise but I can certainly make an effort to stop gaining it. What else do I have to do? Twelve weeks in someone else's life might not seem like very long... but anyone who has seen me pregnant knows that twelve weeks for me while lying around in misery can result in a startling weight gain. Since I'm not walking away from this with a baby I'd kind of like to not look like I am either.