Federal Offense

A week or so ago I lovingly packed up a box of maternity clothes and shipped them off to Heather. I had a few things that I thought she could use, and since I'm not having any more children (ever!), I was happy to send them on to greener pastures.

Well today Heather got that package and sent me a "Thank You" email that went like this...
"what is this terrifying pink thing in here? It's horrid!
Thanks for the clothes!!!! You're the best!"

Now when I received that I was like "hmmm... what pink thing? The nightgown?... I wouldn't say it was horrid..."

Then Heather clarified with this...
"No it's some terrible plastic/rubber vagina? "

And I'm thinking "wtf?!.... what kind of weird Kid toy could be in there?... what looks like a vagina?!... part of Mr Potato Head?!" and I was actually feeling somewhat guilty that Heather was going to have to pay to ship back whatever toy got in there.

Well.... it wasn't a toy....

I have to say I feel strangely violated. I'm not sure how to even process this....


Here I am after talking with the USPS representative:

Thankfully Heather was taken a little more seriously.