It's Happening, People

First Paleo breakfast:
Eggs scrambled with onion, spinach, tomato, and turkey served with a almond meal & banana muffin.

Of course, Kid ate it and LOVED it. She was born to go Paleo.

Baby had this:

She was born to eat cookies off the floor.

Although, this afternoon even she helped herself to one of the muffins, and ate the whole thing. It's basically just banana, almonds & eggs... and seeing as she won't eat eggs or almonds... it's a win! Must make more.

This has been something I've thought about for quite awhile. I have long felt that the Paleo diet might make me feel better. I've been pretty sick lately & I'm just sick of breakfast causing serious digestive ailments every. single. morning. (for nearly 20 fucking years) and the migraines. I'm not going to be pure, though. My take is: no grains, no dairy, minimal unrefined sweeteners (just got some coconut palm sugar)... but I'm not ruling out legumes. I think they are too healthy & convenient to give up. Potatoes, corn, grains, sugar?... sure, I'm a believer... but lentils? hummus? black beans? No, I don't buy it. I don't over do the beans (and I'm actually anti-soy already) so I don't think the potential negatives out weight the positives. I'm also not going to make red meat a main protein, I'll stick with chicken & lean pork. I've never digested red meat very easily... and I'm trying to get better not worse. I'm taking a couple of weeks to ease into it, going for as many Paleo meals as possible each day (breakfast, dinner & snacks today... still using up existing food at lunch) while researching more recipes. I think the key to success will be stocking up my freezer over the next couple of weeks so that I'll be able to easily have lunch food & snacks at the ready. I think dinners will be pretty easy for me to adjust and still serve a grain for the kids.

Mr F claims he's going to go Paleo. I'm not holding me breath.

Maybe I'll also lose 15 pounds.

(Pretty please)

P.S. I'm loving THIS SITE for Paleo recipes. And just over all design.

On Insight and Supersight

Yesterday, while driving Kid to drop off Girl Scout cookie orders, we had an interesting conversation. During our years as a family, we've come across more than a few families that allow their children to have as much (or more) power than the parents. This has a lot of ramifications, but most notably, I find, are tantrums (long past toddlerhood), anger, and rudeness.
Anyway... this is what Kid had to say about it...

"If you are a kid and you are allowed to make all the decisions, your brain starts to think 'Control! I love being in charge!', when actually, NO, it's making you super stressed out and angry." Kid sums up for me, from the back seat.

Preach it, sister.

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"Look into my eyes." Baby asks mysteriously.

"How many eyes do I have?" Baby prompts.

"Two." Mrs F replies.

"Look harder." Baby commands.

Paczki Day

"Do we celebrate Fattening Day?" Baby asked me excitedly last week.

"You better believe it." I reassured her

Bachelor Breakdown

"Dad! Courtney gets to go to a Mayan Temple; she doesn't deserve it!" An enraged Kid updates Mr F.

"Actually... she does." Kid continues, then breaks out in maniacal laughter.

Weekend Updates

Just finished making this super cute and easy felt Valentine's Day project for the girls:

(original found here)

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The Furious Fam just discovered Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. (Pretty much, YES.) Mr F is inordinately into himself about it, though. I mean he's taking it very seriously... which I find to be both humorously embarrassing and moderately ANNOYING. I mean, it's not exactly Jeopardy.

Baby said, after answering something right, "I am smarter than a fifth grader... which means I'm smarter than a noodlecorn (unicorn)!" "I guess." I replied. "Noodlecorns are very smart." Baby returned sternly. Oh.

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If we are gone from the house for more than an hour or two, we'll come home to this...

It turns out our new cat Big Boy thinks he's a dog. He's obsessed with that Marie stuffed cat and that yellow duck. He gets them out every time.

I mean have you ever seen a cat carrying around large stuffed animals? It cracks me up!
For comparison purposes this is Marie next to our largest cat toy...
He's such a gentle giant, though.

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I've been sticking to our new $75/week grocery budget with no problem! One tip I've found for myself, is that I do better shopping at our more expensive grocery store (ironic)... since I'm more on guard there and do better sticking to the bare minimum of what I need. When I go to our big local grocery/everything store (which I consider to be a better priced store for most things) I always buy more than I intended, even if the basics are a bit cheaper there are more distractions and I find it much harder to stick to my basic list.


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I've not been working out. Ugh. I need to start back from scratch... AGAIN. I hate how quickly you can lose your motivation and then it feels like you never did it. I mean, how did I do this every day? It seems like someone else's life. And yet I know that once I start again, it will seem easy to fit in, and I'll wonder why I ever stopped. Such a vicious cycle... and the starting is the hardest part.


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That's all for now.

Late Night Googlings With Mr and Mrs F

"Quick, grab your phone and look up 'negative effects of cannibalism'." Mrs F requests.

Touche´

"You are not going to wear the same things three days in a row." Mrs F informs Kid.

"Why not? You do." Kid returns.

FIVE

Breakfast table is set...

For our traditional Birthday Breakfast (Trader Joe's Chocolate Croissants!)

First Five little presents... (just turned out that way, but I am pleased)

Which contain these...

Most awesome Ebay score of all time. You may recall from Halloween that she is obsessed with Robin Hood (of course all Robin Hood Disney merchandise is vaulted so this was a challenging b'day quest)

Again the Disney vault issue strikes again... this movie is technically the library's (her really really expensive copy is in the mail)

Outside of Robin Hood, one of Baby's favorite things is gingerbread men. So a birthday theme was born. I scoured all the Christmas sales and stocked up! So glad I did, and that I bought that cute skirt fabric while I was at it.

Cute... (I wish she'd let me cut those darn bangs! She only left that clip in for this picture!)

You can't tell from these pictures, but this birthday has been really hard on her. She's been sobbing over it for a couple of weeks. Cried herself to sleep, and woke up crying this morning. You'd think she was turning 50! She doesn't want to be 5 "or 8 or 9 or 13 or 20 or grownup!!!". We told her that we didn't have to celebrate, that she could skip this year, but nothing helped assuage her worries. "But I'll still be 5!!!!" She'd wail. "My body will still be 5!!!" And she was right, so there wasn't much we could do, but try to be loving and patient and understanding during her LONG, LONG bedtimes.
Hopefully the presents will help.
And the fact that she didn't wake up bigger ;)

Well, I've Been Busy

Sorry for the sporadic and lame blogging.

This whole adoption thing has kind of taken over.

It has had to have been some of the most stressful times I've ever gone through...

and, People, we haven't even really started.

I am relieved to discover (via 1 million adoption blogs) that this is par for the course.

There are so many monumental decisions to make with very little information.

Nearly every day I change my mind from one agency to another.

One type of adoption to another.

Back again.

and again.

Until I want to blow my brains out.

It is all surprisingly difficult to navigate and stressful.

So stressful.

And, the money?

Yes, the money.

The tax credit is set (for now) to expire very likely before we could finalize an adoption.

For awhile I was about to self destruct trying to figure out how to get everything done in time.

While important, that can't drive me.

So I tried to let that go.

Then a situation seemed to fall in my lap that would be perfect.

But 45K.

We have 16.

I spent a few days researching grants, etc.

Then found out it was too late, someone beat us to the medical deposit.

Which was good, because it made me realize that I was trying to compete for the exact kind of children there are plenty of right here.

At a certain point, I had to say... seriously?... you've gone from an 18 month old to a 7 & 3 year old sibling pair with no medical history and most likely horrific trauma and at minimum extreme malnutrition. Why again aren't you willing to adopt out of Foster Care?

It had almost become laughable.

So I searched the MARE site again (I've been doing this for YEARS by the way)... and lo and behold a 7 & 5 year old sibling pair, with full medical history (and no medical issues).

But, of course, we're not able to pursue them now since we need PRIDE training, etc.

Either way. Ups and Downs. Ups and Downs. And that is, in part, the story with adoption.

So many things we've stumbled on and thought about.

And now, while we'll probably change our minds, we've decided to go ahead and adopt from Foster Care.

Which, interestingly enough, was the root of my desire to do this all along.

So, it kind of feels right.

And I don't lie awake stressing about how quickly we can get this done, or how we can get the money.

Which, was, a huge amount of the stress.

Sweet Baby Jesus

I FOUND IT!!!!!

If You...

Had compiled a folder of important paper work (birth certificate, marriage license, social security card, etc) to take to the DMV (in fucking JUNE I might add)... where the hell would you put it when you came home?

No, not in the file folder in the cabinet that says "Identification", or the one by my desk that says "To Be Filed".

Not in the car's glove box.

For the love of God?! Where the hell did I put them?!!

And, yes, I totally thought Mr F was the one who was going to cause this hold up...

Out of The Mouths Of Babes

"I hope Ben watches his shows to see how blind he really was." Kid remarks.

Word On The Street Is...

This Pony Cafe has seriously good food.

It's A Real Mystery, Sherlock

"Maybe I had too much pita?" Mr F suggests regarding his mysterious fullness.

"Pita?" Mrs F responds a little suspect.

"Well, I only had one bowl of soup." Mr F states.

"How much Coke did you have? And brownies?" Mrs F inquires.

"Hmm..." Mr F responds and walks shamefully out of the kitchen.

Updates

Oh, boy... this week has been a real roller coaster!

We had our first meeting with a potential adoption agency.

We left feeling really overwhelmed and concerned about the potential for corruption on the country's end.

Things just did not sit well with us, and the director's repeated complaints about the Hague accreditation process did not help.

I really don't care if it makes more work for you... that's your job... and it's important... and you are getting paid for it.

She really bemoaned that long gone are the days of bringing home a 2 month old (or in her case a 2 DAY old...um... they aren't orphaned in the womb... so how did you secure that adoption?) (Talking international here, not domestic, just to be clear)

Wow, she was glib.

This is our biggest concern with an African adoption and this was CLEARLY not theirs.

That's a problem.

So, now we're kind of freaked out.

We have a meeting with another agency in 2 weeks, and we'll see.

I don't know what direction we'll take now.

Our point is to bring home a waiting child, not an infant. This has been a personal goal of mine since I worked in foster care in NYC 13+ years ago. Domestic adoption for US waiting children is available only for children 7 & up, which makes them an inappropriate placement for our household, at this time. Fostering younger children, while an option age wise, would be just too difficult on our girls emotionally. It is still an option for the future, when our children are older. This is how we've come to international adoption, and there is extensive need, but there are also concerns. We're walking that line right now.

Which brings us to special needs adoption, which I've also felt called to for MANY years. This is something that I feel particularly well suited to, and there is a huge need, and we can be 100% sure that these children are truly orphaned. But are we all up for it?

So, that's that. For today.

Next week? We tour charter school 1 followed the next week by charter school 2.

So, I've got major decisions all up in my bees wax these days.

Thankfully, I've got the help of Superhero Pioneer Baby by my side:



On other fronts I rearranged my living room, thanks to my 99 year old grandmother's generous donation of a couple of oil paintings. And I am in love. It's SO much better.

BEFORE (this is the day I was packing up our Christmas decorations... holy crap we have a LOT of decorations it took me from 3 PM- 2 AM to do it all... believe it... so just look around them for the basic furniture layout)



AFTER: rearranged the couch & reading chair w/ottoman, added 2 oil paintings & tin work (10th anniversary gift) on couch wall, added desk & lamp. The rattan chairs we got at World Market for just over $100 each a couple of months ago... and it really solved the problem we had of needed seating in front of that built in.



For now, I'm cool with this. We have 2 wall sconces that will eventually (eventually) get placed in here since there is no overhead lighting. One will go next to the built in bookcase in that space between the bookcase and the 2 venetian jester watercolors (just FYI in case that space bothers you like it does me).

Threats That Only Work On 4 Year Olds

"If you get out of bed one more time, you won't allowed to wash the windows tomorrow!"

The Shame

meal planning

Here's the book I mentioned...
plus a little hint at what else might be going down around here.

Happy New Year!

We rang the New Year in, as we have the past several years, by planting our wishes.

It's a custom from some far off locale, I can't remember which.

So, now, at 11:59 we all scurry outside with a trowel and scoop out 4 small holes.

We bend down and whisper our wishes for the New Year into them and then cover them back up.

To grow.

I know not everyone is a big resolutions person. I am. In part, because I just love to come up with new plans, new goals, new over the top regimes. I think it's fun. Some of my ideas are somewhat outlandish... but... still they push me to try to step out of my comfort zone. I really don't care on Dec 31st if I stuck them out or not... the thought of what might be is enough for me. If I only do it once, I still challenged myself. And, I do believe, it's about the drive to change... always believing that it's possible to be more. Whether I make a life long change isn't the point, it's showing myself, and my girls (and Mr F the most pessimistic of all) that life is more fun and exciting when you actively live it.

As I said to Kid last night... "Happy New Year! Another year, another chance to be more awesome!"

Last year our family goal for 2011 was to chose happiness. That meant a very failed attempt at spreading joy through $5 gift cards (hilarious flop), to a more sustainable decision to say no to events, invitations, people and sports programs that were actively sucking our souls out. On that front we were incredibly successful. And as a people pleaser, that is a huge accomplishment! I even refused to accept friendship requests of several people on Facebook... what?!... choosing my own comfort and boundaries, over someone else's? Unprecedented.

This year we are going to focus on our social life. As in improving it. This is a big challenge for us. While there are lots of people, here, we would love to hang out with, our schedules (and theirs), various levels of social anxiety, and just plain speed of life, always seem to collide on the side of staying home. The truth is, that at this stage of life, with all our friends juggling their work and kid schedules, it just is harder to get together with people. It takes more work than before we moved to NC, when everyone's kids were preschool aged & younger... without soccer, swimming, dance, and karate lessons every night of the week to contend with. So, it will, in fact, take more work.

That's a pretty big challenge for one year.

I'm, truthfully, somewhat conflicted, since most of me is always trying so hard to slow our schedules down and carve out a moment to relax. But in doing that, it can be easy for *extras* like cultivating and maintaining friendships to be the first thing to fall by the wayside. Because, what else can you cut? We have something M-Th every afternoon/eve for the kids, which all independently seem important, and then there is Mr F's ridiculous work schedule. I've thought a lot about it. While things were stressful in NC, I was also in some ways more fulfilled socially. People were in general less busy, there, and social time was more of a priority. There was not as much pressure for your kids to take extra curriculars, as there is here, and so there were more playdates.

So, I'll be thinking on this. We are kind of locked into our current schedule until June, so baby steps for now. But come summer I would like to really focus on reestablishing our social network, and finding a way to make that a priority when we start a new school year in the Fall.

Seems a long way off... but... experience proves otherwise.

It's That Time Of Year, Again

"I'm getting excited about an extreme new way of eating." Mrs F announces while folding laundry.

"Oh My God." Kid replies.