For White Coats

Last night, while lying in bed, Mr F was waxing poetically about his new shampooing technique.

Mr F - "Kid's hair looks gorgeous tonight"

Mr F went on for sometime about how far he put the shampoo and where he applied the conditioner. Mrs F was mostly rolling her eyes. How to handle Kid's knots can be a point of contention between the two of them. Mr F has a tendency to forget that Mrs F has been washing long hair successfully for several decades.

Mr F - "I used that new foaming shampoo"

Mrs F - rolls over and gives Mr F the "what?!" face.

Mr F - "The one that squeezes out of the bottom."

Mrs F - processes this information with a concerned look.

Mr F- face freezes in a look of panic.

Mrs F - "The dog shampoo?!!"

Mr F - panic turns to hysterical laughing.

Mrs F - "You just used that on the dog... like 2 weeks ago."

Mr & Mrs F - more hysterical laughing.

Mr F - "I thought I remembered using it."

Mrs F - "You know what is funny? When the kids came in after their bath, I actually said 'Your hair smells fantastic!'"

Mr & Mrs F - hysterical laughing.

Mrs F - "Well, it is organic. I'm sure it's okay."

Mrs F - gets up to go to the bathroom. checks the shampoo label.

Mrs F - "I don't think it will be a problem. But, it is "Whitening Shampoo", you know, for white coats."

Mr F - crying with laughter

Mr F - "I saw that"

Mrs F - "Well, what did you think that meant?!"

Mr F - "I was like 'What the Fuck?!'"

Mrs F - "But it says "For White Coats' what did you think that meant?"

Mr & Mrs F - both crying

Mr F - "Does it really say that?"

Mrs F - "Yes"

Mr F and Mrs F finally start to calm down.

Mr F - "You know, the problem is that it doesn't look like dog shampoo, it looks like kids shampoo."

Mrs F - "Well, it doesn't have a picture of a dog on it.... but... it is called Paw-ganics"

Mr F - gets up and goes to the bathroom to read the bottle. Uproarious laughter echos off the walls.

Mr & Mrs F - cry themselves to sleep.


I told Kid this morning. "Did he really?!" Kid asks laughing. "He actually said 'This shampoo works great, I'm going to use it over and over again!'"