Disgusted and Depressed and Infuriated

I got to tell you I'm actually feeling pretty fucking depressed.  I was minding my own beeswax making santa shaped crayons (what?!) while listening to Michigan radio (I still miss you) on my computer when I heard the report about the melamine.  

This is what I'm feeling...

Is it too much to ask that the food we feed ourselves be free of ANY amount of toxic compounds? Have we really gotten to the point where we have to convince ourselves that a little bit is okay?  Really?  REALLY?  

I'm sitting here late at night looking at my canister of Nestle hot cocoa... one of my only non-organic vices (that is just for me) and I can't help but wonder "what the fuck is in this?!"  Nestle had melamine in their formula.  Hot cocoa is made from milk products.  It doesn't take a huge leap there.  And it just fucking disgusts me.  

Why can't anything be completely safe?  Seriously?  Why the fuck can't my goddamn kids' food and toys and shampoo just be safe?  Why do I have to have a full time career as an investigative reporter to try and eliminate toxic (factually, admittedly, toxic) compounds from their stuff?  

And still it isn't enough.  It's never enough.  I can't be thorough enough.

And some people might say "give it up".  "You can't protect them from everything."

Don't you think I fucking know that?  

I certainly can't protect them from everything.  Shit I can't even protect my kids from their own bodies!

 Don't you think we should be able to keep our kids from being poisoned (even a little bit) everyday of their lives?  Who even knows what the result of all of this will be?  How much of a little bit of poison is okay when there's a little bit in EVERYTHING.