I May Have Failed To Mention

That I've been called for jury duty.

Yes.

Right now.

First, let me tell you all that I would (in theory) love to serve.

For 100% real. I'm all over it like white on rice (white rice that is).

Second, let me tell you that I've been called to serve 4 times since Kid was born (4!).

In Michigan (first 3) I was called to sit on the county and federal court juries.

Each time I happened to have a baby and I was able to call (an actual person) and explain that I was a breastfeeding new mom and they pulled me out and put me back at the bottom of their pool.

Good.

Well, this time no one answers the damn phone. I can't possibly serve on Thursday May 13th because... #1 I have no one to watch Baby. #2 I have to get Kid to school 15 minutes AFTER duty starts. #3 I have to watch the baby. #4 I have no co-parent to call in sick and cover for me. #4 I can't hire a sitter (even if I had one) to watch all those kids for $12/day. #5 We're moving.

Again, no one will answer my messages or pick up the phone despite saying specifically that you can reach them after 10AM.

Of course I may go down to the court house tomorrow morning at 9 AM to present my excuses before the judge. Sadly, again, see reasons #1-#4.

I really don't need this extra stress right now.

Not with our backyard neighbors cutting down trees (didn't mean it!) and knocking down our privacy fence (so sorry!) while they build a fucking garage WHILE MY HOUSE IS ON THE MARKET (no, no, don't worry about me).

And on top of all of that I found out yesterday that American Girl retired Kirsten Larson without any fan fair in January. People... I called Mr F and said "I'm having the worst day of my life... Kirsten Larson was retired." And he said "I thought something horrible happened." And I said "Did you hear me?! Something horrible did happen!!." This will be all over your heads but suffice it to say (that exactly an hour later I got my period) that if I were to get an American Girl doll I would certainly get the Norwegian Pioneer doll... OBVIOUSLY. If you know me at all you would know that. Come on! She had a rolling pin for God's sakes!

Okay so after all that I still have to deal with the whole jury duty nightmare.

My plan is to haul Baby down there with me this afternoon as soon as the baby (confusing right with the whole Baby/baby thing... oh anonymity!) goes home. This will help to illustrate my point (yes?!) and hopefully some kindly person will take pity on me and help me. If not at least I'll have some kind of a practice run for tomorrow when I will do it all over again (so fun to try and entertain a 3 year old while waiting for your turn to present your excuse with 500 other people).

Of course, I could just risk it and hope my group is dismissed and/or pay the $50 fine for non-compliance.

But if you know me at all you know that I am way to cheap to pay $50 when I can spend just as much in parking and worry trying to avoid it. Please.