Showing posts with label hey where is my crack pipe?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hey where is my crack pipe?. Show all posts

Monday, November 5, 2007

Do You Hear What I Hear

So every morning after Halloween when Kid has gotten up and settled herself on the couch while she "wakes up" I have been turning the radio on to our easy listening station to see if they have started playing their non-stop Christmas music programming. Last year the start date was the day after Halloween. I was initially completely shocked and appalled by that but if you know kids they love Christmas music... is that not a universal truth? it certainly is around here... and hey who am I to keep the kid from something so joyful. Unfortunately I've been basing this decision on last year and that was back in the good old days when I only had one kid so I actually left the house. It never occurred to me what a mistake turning that shit on in the house might turn out to be.

And not to turn you all off of having multiple children I should make it clear that having two kids isn't that much harder... it is just that this second kid is a crazy baby... or maybe it is all the crack that comes through my breastmilk... what I'm not the only mom who is smoking crack to stay awake right... Right?!?!

Well anyway this morning I turn it on kind of as a "hey lets check", they hadn't started it yet so I kind of thought maybe they had pushed it back due to massive complaints or something, well lo and behold they started it. I realized what a HUGE mistake I had made about a few beats into the FIRST fucking song... some Mariah Carey song. Mariah it is nothing personal.. but it is 8 in the morning and this is just not what I want in the background. Now I made my bed on this one and I pretty much have to listen to it ALL freaking day now. I don't know why I ever did this. I mean checking on the car radio would be one thing... but now I'm going to have to listen to this shitty Christmas rotation All. The. Fucking. Time. And if you are wondering why I don't just shut it off... well then you don't have a five year old who is perfectly capable of turning on the radio her own damn self!

Just when everything seemed dismal and potentially homicidal making Kid says "Now that you are putting the Baby down you can read me a book." Like the terrible mother I am I whine (yes really) "Ummm I haven't even finished my coffee" I was feeling a little guilty and just then the Charlie Brown Christmas Song came on and I said "Oh it's Charlie Brown!" Kid was sufficiently diverted and I thought "hmm this might not be so bad after all"
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