No, I'm talking about our actual bones. I had thought, my entire fully grown bodied life, that I had a "medium" frame. For obvious reasons... it made me feel less FAT. I probably would have told myself I had a "large" frame if I thought I could have gotten away with it.
The thing is I REALLY believed this. What else would explain why I always weighed about 5 pounds (okay sometimes 17) over my "ideal" weight of 115 for my 5'3"? Certainly not the fact that I ate with wild abandon and didn't exercise. Must be that pesky medium bone structure I've been hauling around... right?
The best part is I didn't even make this up for myself... an actual Health professional did (okay it was my middle school field hockey coach... what?! I went to prep school. Sports were mandatory). At the tender age of 13 I was told to wrap my right hand around my left wrist (I think the coach had us do this... or was it Seventeen magazine?). If you could overlap your fingers than you had a "small" frame, if they met then you had a "medium" frame, and if they didn't meet you were FAT... er... I mean you had a "large" frame. I probably weighed around 115 at that time and guess what? My fingers technically didn't meet... I could squeeze really, really, hard and almost get them to touch. Now I wasn't fat, obviously, and I'm not a "large" person so the only explanation for this failure to conform to such a scientific assessment of my bone structure was that I was "medium large" or "medium" framed for short hand.
Being 13 at the time that label was burned into my brain... and maybe somehow led to a resignation (partially subconscious even) that I couldn't be as thin for my height as a "normal" person. So I never tried.
All through college my weight ranged in the 116-121 range... except for one summer when I inexplicably gained 15 pounds. I didn't really work out or watch my diet. During this same time I began suffering from chronic body pain. This led me to an Orthopedic Surgeon and he had me get a full set of Xrays. I note this because I clearly remember the Xray technician saying "You have the smallest bones I've ever seen." What?!?! I don't have a medium to medium large frame?!? Lies! I did what anyone would do and pretended she didn't say that. But, I confess, it did kind of eat at me sometimes... this idea that maybe it wasn't my bones that put my weight up over the hump of "ideal".
It wasn't until this past winter when I reached 110 that I realized that I really do have a small frame. I guess it took actually losing enough weight to be able to see my bone structure to finally put my old middle school measurement to rest. Sometimes I wonder if I had had big enough hands to reach around my wrist... if I had gotten the coveted "small" frame title back in my early adolescence if I would have tired harder to live up to that title. Instead I kind of spent the next 18 years of my life living up to the "medium" frame instead.
This all came up again for me after popping over to Haley's place last week. It seems there is a more accurate way to measure your bone structure... by measuring your elbow:
What do you know? Small frame. Kind of wish I had stumbled across this YEARS ago.
Hop over to Haley's for the measurement instructions... then have at it!
