Sorry This Has Taken Over...

the blog and my entire life (waking and sleeping... which is hardly ever).

Last night I heard Kid screaming and wailing in her bed.  It was so unusual that I thought Baby must have been having a weird tantrum with Mr F about going to bed (not as unusual).

After awhile Kid came out and said she's done, she wants to drop out of school.

I don't know why I'm conflicted, I guess I don't like to quit things either.

Or I don't like to have to confront the teacher and principal and say I'm removing her (ding ding ding).

On the one hand she is doing more (and better) than I ever thought possible.

On the other hand I told her last night ...

"I think you might have a learning disability"

and she said "Oh, I've always thought I had a disability."

And I said "What do you mean?"

And she said "I don't know." (of course).

And then I pressed her because I really do need to know what she means and what she thinks.

She said "I have always thought that."

"For how long?"

"Ever since I was ever in school."

"But in what ways?"

"I take much longer than everyone else to do things and I never understand what I'm supposed to do."

Which for a minute just try and imagine what that feels like every single day.

And after reflecting on everything I know about her school history and with working with her at home... I think that that pretty much sums it up.

I put her in this school because she got a perfect score on the entrance exam and so I thought "good, it won't be too hard for her!"

BUT the entrance exam was given one on one, and when she didn't understand the directions the principal EXPLAINED them to her.  (which is what I've been able to do for her at home).

Without that crucial piece in the puzzle, as hard as it is to understand, she does not understand written instructions.  BELIEVE me... I cannot tell you how many times I would get extremely frustrated with her while homeschooling that she hadn't followed directions correctly (that I thought were pretty self explanatory).  I always chalked it up to her not bothering to read them or pay attention.  It never occurred to me that someone who can read and comprehend 6 grades above her level could not read and comprehend 2 part directions.  It seems crazy... but I now think that is the crux of it.

Well, anyway, I am torn between get her tested and seeing the recommendations and seeing if the school will implement.  And taking her out and just implementing them myself.  I worry that we have gotten an extremely stubborn teacher who is going to dismiss that this is even a possible disorder.  I'd really hate to force Kid to suffer through however many months it will take to get a diagnosis and then possibly not get the desired result from the teacher anyway.

But I also want to say how impressed I am with Kid.  She has really risen to a very difficult challenge.  She had to learn all of the books of the Old Testament and she did it (on top of homework mind you!) in 3 freaking days!  She also has been getting A+s on her math homework and spelling tests.  When she understands the directions she is clearly at the top of her class.  BUT the work they do in class she is often getting 50-75% correct and when I review it, it is ALWAYS because she didn't follow the directions not because of a lack of comprehension on the topic.  Unfortunately, she has a teacher that seeing something done incorrectly does not explain the directions and give you a chance to correct it... she marks them all wrong and that is the end of it.  In my gut I don't think this is a teacher that is going to work with us... I think she is a teacher that we would have to live through.

And for the record I don't really believe in that.