Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I Got My Mojo Back
Where to begin...where to begin folks?
I just had one of the best workouts of my freaking life. This has been a real turbulent few weeks for me and I had kind of felt that I had lost my motivation. And it might just be the endorphins talking... but tonight I had a bit of an awakening. Guess what? I had let myself down. I had given up. I had stopped trying... had stopped working. As it turns out that doesn't leave you inspired and rearin' to go... it leaves you feeling... well.... lost and befuddled and three pounds heavier sitting on the couch whining about your aching shoulder.
It wasn't even a week ago that I posted about losing my fire... my drive and focus. I knew I was hitting a wall and that I needed to get back on track after taking several days off. No. Stop right there. I didn't "take" a couple days off... I gave in for a couple days and that, my friends, is the depressing truth. Had I actually scheduled a little break that would be one thing... what I did was schedule workouts and then fail to do them. And that is a pattern I am very familiar with. Feeling demotivated and depressed I decided to get this boat back in the water and did manage to pump out a workout on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. But I'll be honest my heart wasn't in it and I kind of feared it might not ever be. I wasn't feeling the endorphins or proud of myself or anything I did it. And that's all I can say about it.... I did it.
Not trusting myself to take a break I also worked out on Monday and Tuesday. Now believe me when I tell you I didn't want to workout. I'm not putting on airs for dramatic effect. I seriously didn't want to do it... but I didn't want to let myself down... and oh yeah the little 3 pound weight gain I received this week did kind of spur me to just keep plotting along. Well tonight I was feeling the same...um... de-motivation.... I spent about 30 minutes procrastinating and thinking about filing paperwork instead (that should tell you how NOT into the workouts I've been!). Well after a bit of stewing I got my water bottle and changed and began watching the Biggest Loser from last night. And, people, I had a light bulb moment. It kind of went like this "See how hard they are working? You aren't working anywhere near that hard." And sure I've had this epiphany before... but it never ceases to inspire me. Here is a group of obese people who are running 14 miles an hour for crying out loud!! I need to do more... I need to push myself. So I did. I worked out harder than I have this whole year.
I stayed on that thing for 80 freaking minutes. And guess what? I got my fire back. Because what I realized is that I hadn't been challenging myself. And when you aren't being challenged you are going to get BORED both physically and mentally. You aren't going to see the same results you were seeing. When you lose weight your body adjusts, you get fitter and stronger, and need a HARDER workout. I hadn't even realized it but I had stopped having the endorphin rush a couple months ago... no wonder my workouts had seemed so lackluster and uninspiring. It never really occurred to me that I had just gotten used to my routines and was fit enough that I literally was no longer working out as hard as I had been. From now on when I get on that treadmill I am going to push myself... really push myself. I'm going to do what I think I can't do... and then I'm going to do it a little longer. Because the truth is I can. And you can to.