Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Okay

I'm sick of feeling like shit about myself.

I'm hoping I finally mean that.

I feel like I do... but... the motivation to actually stick with something beyond a handful of days has been elusive up to this point.

It turns out having your kids with you 24 hours a day, makes it even harder to put your needs first.

I'd really like to replace the amount of time I feel shame about my lack of effort...

with... pride at actually making a fucking effort.

So I'm just going to say I'm now trying to get into a 12 week challenge with myself.

To actually do what I know I should do.

And stop making nutella paninis (damn you Mario Batali!).

I started today.

I think I have to stick under 1400 calories now that I'm a) not breastfeeding and b)comprised of much more fat than I used to be.

I'm also going to do my "I think I might be having a heart attack" Cathe Fredrick step aerobics DVD (for real peeps... it's insane) 5 times a week.

One down.

Stay tuned.

I think I mean it this time.

12 weeks... 15 pounds... back to my glory

9 comments:

Smitty said...

George Foreman grills may be proof of the existence of evil, which thus may indirectly prove the existence of God.

I hear you. I'm not you, so I don't know all of the emotions tied to how you feel, but man, I hates lookin in the mirror. When I sit at a table, I obsessively grab handfuls of tummy flesh to prove yet again to myself that I need to lose way and keep at it.

I want to go to the beach or the pool and take off my shirt and not feel like this.

Mrs Furious said...

lol... Yep, that's pretty much what I feel like. Especially since now I actually have to wear a bathing suit in the damn kiddie pool (the depth of which does not offer any mercy) with Baby once a week, while about half our town looks on from 5 feet away. Kill me. It's fucking torturous for my fragile ego.

wootini said...

Way to go Mrs. F - badass is back!

Angie said...

Dude. Let's do it together. I leave for Italy June 13. I will be 139. Let's wager and have twice weekly reportings. Like old times.

Alexandra said...

Looks like you could start a nice little Mrs F reader challenge to help motivate you (and us). It really is full of emotion, isn't it? Guilt, shame, depression, frustration - who started this (I mean, like, philosophically, when did people start feeling awful about how they appear?)?? It's not right.

Jenny The Bold said...

You can do it! Stop making excuses!

I find that the later in the day I put off exercise, the less likely I will do it. I try to do it when I take my lunch break at 11:00am and I go faster because I only have so long to do it!

And don't forget-summer is just around the corner (well-maybe not here in Wisconsin it's freaking freezing here.

thecoolestwifeever said...

I need to be doing this right along with you!

Gina said...

That is a bad-ass dvd. I will be doing it tomorrow.

Gigs said...

Yes, it is so hard to put yourself first. I would think that would absolutely be the most challenging thing about homeschooling - the lack of alone time. Sounds like you have a plan, and now that you've shared it you'll be motivated to stick to it, which is awesome. I need to find that motivation for myself. I have 7-10 pounds I'd love to be rid of...

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