Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Updates

So, some things have been going on in the background here that I may have failed to mention. Like... our new dog keeps trying to kill our cat.

That's been a bit rough & stressful and has meant that I'm pretty much on guard all my waking hours and trying to manage a rotation of pets which leaves everyone getting less than what they deserve. It has been incredibly stressful trying to make sure the kids don't accidentally let the cat into the room with the dog (which they do... every single day). Then manage the dog's destructive chewing when she has to be shut in the living room while the cat gets a few minutes out with the family.

I have tried EVERYTHING I can to slowly introduce them, having on leash meet & greet times everyday... but still... it can go from good to terrifying in a blink of an eye. This situation is just, obviously, not what we wanted. And I'm left spending all my time trying to avert disaster and am left stressed and resentful every evening.

After putting in a good 60+ days I think it's time that we just admit that this isn't working and try and find her a good cat free home to call her own. It has been very sad. She wants nothing more than to be a good companion, and that is what we all wanted, but due to our circumstances she can't be free (or even off leash) in the house most of the time. So I find myself sacrificing my own freedom and spend all my time with her in the shut off living room. A prisoner to the dog's needs. While the cat then goes ignored all day.

So, yesterday I finally had the little pep talk with myself that went something like... "When can I put my needs over anything else's?" "Do I really have to live my life like this for the next 10+ years because I don't want to disappoint the Humane Society?!" And let me be clear that our Humane Society is very nice and not a high kill shelter and that she will most CERTAINLY be adopted immediately because of her size and her good with kids status. She had only been there 4 days before we adopted her.

But, really, am I not allowed to put myself before the animals?

If we don't take her back and she accidentally (or accidentally on purpose) kills our cat... isn't that horrific negligence on our part? Is our cat's actual life worth less than being good adoptive dog parents and committing to her no matter what?

So, now I'm thinking of it in terms of fostering her. We gave her a great loving foster home for 2 months. We can now vouch that she is great with kids and bad with cats so that she can move forward into the right placement for her. She can now sit, lay down, and fetch. And the Humane Society has gotten hundreds of dollars in adoption & relinquishing fees to boot.

P.S. I should note that the Humane Society said they were 100% confident she was good with cats...


So, there's that.

And I've gone off coffee & wheat.

It's day 3.

Kid said to me yesterday... "Mom, please make yourself a cup of coffee!"

5 comments:

Brina said...

thanks for that update, mrs f - i had started worrying if your migraines knocked you out again or something! speaking of which, is that the reason for cutting coffee and wheat? i started tracking what i eat/drink/do/how i feel, so that i might be able to pin point the reason for my migraines... we'll see how that goes

you're absolutely right about the dog situation (not that you don't know that obviously): i mean, i can understand it'll be heartbreaking to give her up again, but then it would be way more heartbreaking if you lost your sanity about the whole situation!! ;)

Mrs Furious said...

Yes, that's why I'm giving them up. I had been off wheat before for about 3 years (that was pre-migraine) and know that I do have a sensitivity to it already. Coffee because it often makes me feel bad (in general) yet I'm addicted to the caffeine so I still drink it. I'm replacing it with tea for now so I don't have to suffer through the withdrawal headaches. I'm not as much of tea drinker... so after awhile I can wean off that. Also in the past when I've gone off coffee I've dropped 5 pounds pretty much right away. I don't know why exactly. But, bonus ;)

The dog thing is mega stressing me out. I need to be able to chose to have less stress and not more!

Andrea said...

Good to see you back,I feel you on the dog front I have so much guilt about the dog we have its really bad I know I shouldnt resent an animal but I do.You're so right if it isnt working it isnt working. Hope kicking the wheat and coffee helps the migraines.

Julie said...

Okay, get back on the coffee...split the coffee to half decaf, half regular. And sadly, Sweetpea has to go. She needs a cat free family. You guys did the best you could. And I believe you probably did even better than another person/family would have done. Most people may not have been so accomodating to the situation. Sweetpea needs to be in a cat free home...she will be happier, too.

Now get that cup of coffee.

Gigs said...

So sorry about Sweatpea. I know it's got to be emotionally draining. Sucks.

Maybe Washington is still there? Or stick with your one kitty if that's easiest. No more extra stress.

Hope the diet changes help the headaches. Have you noticed any difference yet?

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