Well like all great weight loss plans, mine was working ...so... I just up and stopped following it a week and a half ago.
Sound familiar?
I hate when I can be so predictable.
Subsequently, I have... NOT... lost any more weight.
What can I say? These psychological injuries run deep.
Back with the program TODAY. TODAY. I SWEAR.
On other fronts....
I am profoundly happy, people.
Believe it.
This year has really been about reclaiming my happiness.
Taking risks.
And reaping their rewards.
Follow your dreams, peeps.
I made lots of major decisions in this past year... and they were HARD, hard decisions.
And we bucked the trends and did things that just weren't *normal* and that had major chances for complete failure...
and HERE WE ARE.
It all worked out.
And we are ALL happier than ever.
Lessons:
Take that crazy low paying job half way cross the country... risk losing the equity in your home... your situation can't change if you don't change it.
Take your kid out of school... take a step into the unknown... risk other people's judgements.... follow your gut... you know what is right and you know what is wrong.
Take your ego out of your marriage... risk your sacrifice not being met.... put everything out there... find what you lost.
So really, it's kind of hard for me to care too much about vanity weight.
I'm actually living my dream life.
Oh and I'm turning tablecloths into curtains.
What's next?! Maybe soon I'll have an actual social life?
PS if you think the marriage plan won't work for you... that your problems are too far gone... that you need more than a phone alarm... TRY IT! Try it, please. Really, I would never have thought that it would have this profound of a difference. But it has. It is just like daily affirmations, or morning meditation, or whatever else you might do for some other part of your life. Starting everyday on the right foot really does change the direction of your day. Think about it.... no.... do it. Then see.
6 comments:
we are ALL happier than ever.
That is better to hear than any post you could write. You deserve this happiness (I know we all do, but you had an unusually bizarre and bad couple of years there.)
I have not finished watching the marriage video...I had started it when you first posted and then life got in the way. I should put it on my To Do list!
Hey Lady. I don't comment enough, but I read daily (when you post, at least.) Just wanted to say the internet would not be the same without you. I look up to you and aspire to BE YOU! Been reading for years. xoxo
So happy you're happy...It's about time! Still mulling over that whole "risk your sacrifice not being met" thing...we'll see. Me thinks I am a wee bit too selfish to do it. But really, so happy to hear/see the joy you are feeling. You made it!!
Ok! I just watched the marriage video and WOW! That is exactly what we need to do. Everything you said, is exactly how I feel in my marriage. I say at least every day "You're a great Dad. You're a great husband. That shirt looks nice. Thank you for taking out the garbage" and I get NONE of that in return. I really thought that I was setting a good example for N, but he hasn't reciprocated that. This is a perfect idea!
And I'm so glad you're happy!
Melyni,
Oh, that is so nice! :) Nicer than I deserve... but I'll take it and force my daughters to read it when they are teenagers ;)
Julie,
thank you... watch it... I'll be interested to know if its relatable... since you have the opposite sex ADD issue than we have.
Gigs,
Well, I have been in therapy for 19 years (for real)... so... it took a lot of work to even come to this point. I do think, seeing the ADD differently (for me that is trying to see it as dementia... it just works for me that way) has allowed me to move forward. I think at the end of the day it comes down to being happy & fulfilled (or closer to it)... or being unhappy & unfulfilled. All that is left to do is try and see if there is a pay off in approaching it differently than you want to. If not... you haven't lost much... if it works... you've gained a lot. I know it's a hard pill to swallow (at first)... this isn't what you imagined or wanted (for me anyway). But what if it's just changing the approach (which feels like you giving too much) that allows your spouse to gratefully meet your needs? Mr F went from meeting my needs 10-20% of the time (tops) to 80-90% now. And that instantly made swallowing my ego worth it. I also think this past year I've really truly changed from kind of blaming "You have ADD" viewpoint to a more compassionate understanding of the actual disorder. It took a long time for me to get to that point.... to go from anger and resentment at how it affects me (still happens though sometimes) to finally accepting it as something that can't change... I can only change how I respond to it.
Torey,
I hope it works for you guys! Be super specific in exactly what you want him to do, there should be no guesswork on his part... or it becomes too hard to act immediately on... then it will be put off... ADD cycle continues.
I love this. I love reading this and feeling the joy in your writing voice. I'm so happy you're in this space.
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