Thursday, September 1, 2011

10 Years

This one actually feels monumental.

Last year came and went... and I don't think we even exchanged cards.

Like the other time we bought cards but left them in their bags to be found, later, unsigned.

Things had been so busy with moving and school starting.

New life.

Again.

And so this year seemed big.

Driving down the flat highway across Michigan to see the traveling circus.

Kids, big, in the back.

It just all felt so right.

So easy.

So comfortable.

Like a big exhale... finally.

Finally.

So many things have come and gone.

So many hard times.

And I can say, that we are better for it.

I have changed in a way that needed changing.

So it feels like an accomplishment.

A marker that feels solid.

And in the midst of this big day, is life.

Work and errands and appointments.

Anxiety about Baby's vaccinations.

She not one for the white coats after her un-anesthitized stitches.

Proving herself ever the soldier.

Not one muscle tensed.

It was amazing.

What a relief.

And then I left with the unexpected poke.

"Have you been referred to a cardiologist?"

"No...." I managed to breathe out, my own heart now racing.

Today of all days in the back of my mind.

And then, of course, yes, today of all days.

It's all part of it.

Fitting its importance.










15 comments:

Gigs said...

What's up Mrs. F? Does she have an irregularity? We'll send our prayers and good vibes your way. Stay strong. It's nice to see, especially on your anniversary, that you appreciate having each other to help you through what comes with life. Will be thinking of you.

Mrs Furious said...

She head a murmur prominent enough that it needs checking out. Hopefully it's just the run of the mill, not problematic kind. I had just been so counting on Baby being the "healthy" one... really blindsided me. And I also feel very guilty since she has been so healthy that I hadn't had her in for a well visit in a couple of years.

Mrs Furious said...

she heard not head

Gigs said...

Glad you're back where you trust your medical professionals. Good care = peace of mind. Hugs to you guys.

Torey said...

Happy 10 years!! That is an accomplishment these days!


I'm sure everything with Baby is fine, but keep us posted!

Julie said...

Happy ten years!

What a lovely, flowing post....I loved reading it.

Well, of course, I didn't like the thing about the cardiologist. Hopefully, it it not a big deal. I have a murmur & mine is not an issue. I don't even take Penicillin for the dentist (and of course, I am allergic to penicillin so that would not have worked out either.)

Prayers on Baby. And good luck with vaccinations...my kids still HATE to be pricked. Just as an FYI, there is a numbing gel that they can put on so it does not hurt as much. I think it takes a few minutes to work, though. They used it on Murphy at Children's Hospital. Murph's therapist said that I can get an RX for it from his doctor since he has to have his blood tested regularly because of his feritin levels. Oh yeah, I never blogged about this...M's got the lowest feritin levels that Children's Hospital in Boston has ever seen. He's not anemic, but he has pretty much no iron in his body. He has to take 80mg of iron a day (8mg is the daily amount for kids & most multis are 18mg.) Someday, I will blog about our summer of MRIs, evaluations & all that good stuff.

Love to the whole Furious family!

Mrs Furious said...

Thank you, Torey.

PS I still have your cookies! We need to meet up!

Gigs,
Amen to that. Mr F and I were talking about that over dinner. If we see a cardiologist here and they give us a good diagnosis, we'll believe it, there won't be any questions still rolling around in the back of our head. Huge relief.


Julie,
I'm praying it's just an innocent heart murmur. I have a feeling that her's is at least a 3 on the scale, since there was no debate about getting her to the cardiologist. I hope not though... but with everything we've been through, it is truthfully, pretty hard for me to not jump to a worst case scenario. Numbers have yet to have worked in our favor... if you know what I mean. Kid was getting worried about it last night (because she was at the appointment, too), and I said "well, half of people with murmurs have a murmur that isn't harmful at all." And she said "Half?!! What about the other half?!" And, yeah, that's hard not to think about. And it definitely doesn't help that Canine dropped dead of undetected heart damage. Wah! Okay... trying not to think about it...
Oddly her vaccinations went off w/o a hitch. She didn't flinch or cry or anything. I think in retrospect, the fact that the doctors don't wear doctor coats might have made all the difference. she told Mr F that she was "brave as a knight". She also stood on the exam table and sang "Forever & Always" by Taylor Swift for the doctor.

Please blog... I don't know what feritin is. Does all this relate back to his original diagnoses?

STACI said...

Happy Anniversary Mr & Mrs F! :)
10 years is big. We hit 15 this year.

Sorry to hear about Baby. But, like Julie (are we separated at birth?), I have a murmur...found at 3yo & have never had any issues. I too am allergic to penicillin so take something else for the dentist...the name escapes me now.

I went to the childrens hospital in Ann Arbor every year to make sure there were no changes. I remember it very clearly...the drive down was always one of much tension for my parents (which made me nervous as a kiddo) but since I had no change from year to year it was always a better trip back home. :)

I'll be praying that Baby joins Julie & I...and the other 50%. ;)

Torey said...

MMMMMMM. . .Cookies.


But seriously, you're in the best hands here at U of M, so even if she's in the "bad" half (which surely she's not!) then you'll have an idea of what to do about it.

We know the Peds ENT, Neuro and next week we meet Peds Allergy. Lucky us!! We even have a favorite Peds ER nurse ;)

Kiki said...

Happy 10 years.....Ken and I celebrated the same milestone this summer....it def feels like a big deal!!!

As for Baby I will choose to believe that she will be the lucky 50%.....that Baby is tough as nails!!!

Hang in there, I'll be keeping a good thought and whispering a prayer that this will all be nothing!!!

XO to you!!!

Mrs Furious said...

Kiki,
Congrats to you and Ken as well!
and thanks for your prayers... I'm feeling very frazzled but trying to stay positive.

P.S. Mr F is applying for a job in NYC... probably really small chance of it coming to fruition... but I'm very excited at the prospect!!!

Torey,
we're going to allergy this month, too. Both kids need the skin prick tests... that should be awesome.


Staci,
interesting... I hope she has a similar situation. I just wish I didn't have to wait a month to find out!

Big congratulations on 15 years!

Kiki said...

Oh. My. Gosh. NYC. Your dream come true!!! Come on!!!! I'll be keeping that also in my thoughts and hoping only for the best-its what you and your sweet family deserve!!!!

I know how hard you work....you're doing a great job-its all going to work out-I know it!!!

Cara said...

I am thinking healthy thoughts for you and your family!

Mrs. Smitty said...

I have a heart murmur, they found it when I was 5. While it's prominent enough (it's a valve issue) that I have it checked every other year, it does not affect anything in life. I've never been restricted in any activity ever.

My cardiologist even told me that when I got pregnant the murmur would probably get worse and my OBGYN might get worried but I could just tell him not to be.

I hope Baby is fine and it's a just a check. Murmurs are actually pretty common I've found out. If you find out it's a valve issue, or need anything, I'm willing to share my 32 years of experience anytime (or refer you to my mom who was probably much more nervous than me at age 5!)

Happy Anniversary!

Andrea said...

Happy Anniversary Mrs.F, ya'll are in the double digits now. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome for baby and some peace of mind for you. The wait would drive me crazy.

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