Sunday, January 29, 2012

Well, I've Been Busy

Sorry for the sporadic and lame blogging.

This whole adoption thing has kind of taken over.

It has had to have been some of the most stressful times I've ever gone through...

and, People, we haven't even really started.

I am relieved to discover (via 1 million adoption blogs) that this is par for the course.

There are so many monumental decisions to make with very little information.

Nearly every day I change my mind from one agency to another.

One type of adoption to another.

Back again.

and again.

Until I want to blow my brains out.

It is all surprisingly difficult to navigate and stressful.

So stressful.

And, the money?

Yes, the money.

The tax credit is set (for now) to expire very likely before we could finalize an adoption.

For awhile I was about to self destruct trying to figure out how to get everything done in time.

While important, that can't drive me.

So I tried to let that go.

Then a situation seemed to fall in my lap that would be perfect.

But 45K.

We have 16.

I spent a few days researching grants, etc.

Then found out it was too late, someone beat us to the medical deposit.

Which was good, because it made me realize that I was trying to compete for the exact kind of children there are plenty of right here.

At a certain point, I had to say... seriously?... you've gone from an 18 month old to a 7 & 3 year old sibling pair with no medical history and most likely horrific trauma and at minimum extreme malnutrition. Why again aren't you willing to adopt out of Foster Care?

It had almost become laughable.

So I searched the MARE site again (I've been doing this for YEARS by the way)... and lo and behold a 7 & 5 year old sibling pair, with full medical history (and no medical issues).

But, of course, we're not able to pursue them now since we need PRIDE training, etc.

Either way. Ups and Downs. Ups and Downs. And that is, in part, the story with adoption.

So many things we've stumbled on and thought about.

And now, while we'll probably change our minds, we've decided to go ahead and adopt from Foster Care.

Which, interestingly enough, was the root of my desire to do this all along.

So, it kind of feels right.

And I don't lie awake stressing about how quickly we can get this done, or how we can get the money.

Which, was, a huge amount of the stress.


Torey said...

I'm super excited to watch all of this play out. We have a number of friends who have done a number of different types of adoptions but it was all before we knew them.

Andrea said...

This is so exciting, I can't wait to hear about it all.

Mrs. Smitty said...

My cousin did the foster care to adoption route in Kalamazoo. They had some bumps but in the end, they had a sweet little girl and the little girl had a safe and loving home. I believe she was about a year old when she came into their home.

Good luck with your journey!

Annie said...

Blessings to you...

Annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kiki said...

I'm watching and full of hope for you all...wishing you a smooth process and a sweet baby at the end of your journey. Who knows...maybe it'll inspire me now that I have some free time on my hands.

Kellie said...

One of my friends is doing that right now. That process was something else!!! She is on her second foster child. They have 4 girls and would like a boy around 2 or 3. She wasn't getting any calls about possible adoptions so they decided to foster to move them up the list and then possibly have the ability to adopt one of the kids they foster. Personally I couldn't do that, but she has been able to look at it very matter of factly in that they are providing a temporary home for a child who needs one. I admire people that can foster. I hope you have a smooth journey with a new addition to love at the end! :)

STACI said...

My cousin & her husband are doing PRIDE training right now. They are going through a Luthren service?? Not sure about it exactly. She said they are getting their foster care license because it will make the adoption process easier because they are already licenced.

Not sure if that made sense...but she said they aren't doing foster care because she would not be able to give a kiddo back.

Which is understandable. Her husband just had a double lung transplant & they have wanted children for so long but unable. They are looking for an older child or siblings too.

I know they just got started & things are moving quickly. They only have a few PRIDE classes left & have already had their home study done. They are also in Michigan...I can connect you if you want any more info on how they are proceeding.


Mrs Furious said...

Yep, makes total sense. Lutheran Services is one of the agencies we are looking at. We are also going to do Foster Adopt which means you need to be foster certified even if you have no intention of fostering. I'm happy to hear that the home study & PRIDE training have gone so quickly, it seemed like it could take up to 6 months. Yes, I'd love her email if she's willing. Lutheran is a big agency with lots of different locations, which I thought might be a positive in terms of faster placement (since they are working with more kids). I don't know if that is true though.

STACI said...

I sent her a link to your blog. :)

I just found it striking that you both are on this journey now. I'm sure she'll be over to check out the blog soon. :)

STACI said...

I have her email addy...she couldn't find your email addy on the blog (& I can't find it either...I know I had it at one time)

She also said you can reach her on Facebook if you wanted.

Let me know which works best for you.

Mrs Furious said...

She can email me at rachel at voltagedesign dot com

I was getting too much weird spam on the bog email I had so I took down the link.

Bob said...

Sent you a short e-mail a few days back, but came to say congrats.

Sounds like you followed your heart, it will be the right choice.

We might go this route some day. A mentor would be helpful.


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