This whole adoption thing has kind of taken over.
It has had to have been some of the most stressful times I've ever gone through...
and, People, we haven't even really started.
I am relieved to discover (via 1 million adoption blogs) that this is par for the course.
There are so many monumental decisions to make with very little information.
Nearly every day I change my mind from one agency to another.
One type of adoption to another.
Until I want to blow my brains out.
It is all surprisingly difficult to navigate and stressful.
And, the money?
Yes, the money.
The tax credit is set (for now) to expire very likely before we could finalize an adoption.
For awhile I was about to self destruct trying to figure out how to get everything done in time.
While important, that can't drive me.
So I tried to let that go.
Then a situation seemed to fall in my lap that would be perfect.
We have 16.
I spent a few days researching grants, etc.
Then found out it was too late, someone beat us to the medical deposit.
Which was good, because it made me realize that I was trying to compete for the exact kind of children there are plenty of right here.
At a certain point, I had to say... seriously?... you've gone from an 18 month old to a 7 & 3 year old sibling pair with no medical history and most likely horrific trauma and at minimum extreme malnutrition. Why again aren't you willing to adopt out of Foster Care?
It had almost become laughable.
So I searched the MARE site again (I've been doing this for YEARS by the way)... and lo and behold a 7 & 5 year old sibling pair, with full medical history (and no medical issues).
But, of course, we're not able to pursue them now since we need PRIDE training, etc.
Either way. Ups and Downs. Ups and Downs. And that is, in part, the story with adoption.
So many things we've stumbled on and thought about.
And now, while we'll probably change our minds, we've decided to go ahead and adopt from Foster Care.
Which, interestingly enough, was the root of my desire to do this all along.
So, it kind of feels right.
And I don't lie awake stressing about how quickly we can get this done, or how we can get the money.
Which, was, a huge amount of the stress.