I don't really enjoy managing all the clean up/restoration work that has been going on for the past month.
In fact, I find dealing with all of the contractors, subcontractors, laborers and the whole insurance component to be one of the most stressful jobs I've had to undertake.
I don't think, even if I did get to control the timeline, cost, or work being done, I'd enjoy this.
The reality is that I don't get to control any of the above, and well... I pretty much hate it.
Insurance is the final word, and "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit".
It's all of the negatives of a major home renovation, with absolutely none of the positives.
Put all that stress right on the back of the most traumatic event in my life...
(just because you live through something, does not mean you think you will at the time... and that took a pretty serious psychological toll on me and I'm still working through that, not to mention the PTSD that makes sleeping nearly impossible... as I'm always listening for wind... or just dealing with regular weather patterns without anxiety.. it's hard)
and... I'm at my breaking point.
It just seems unfair that you have to live through both the destruction and then the construction.
Of course, Mr F is rarely here... wasn't here when it hit and is not here for the construction.
It's a lot to manage on my own.
And I've passed my ability to handle it well.