Updates

#1   Paleo... I started again, today, after taking my measurements.
       (Holy crap, that was a depressing experience)
       Modified this time, so I don't feel like I'm going to starve to death,
       or have emotional/hunger related issues.

#2  Our house is STILL not done.
      Today we had to have the crew back to point out all of the mistakes
      and ask them to redo stuff.
      This has happened at every stage...
      it's the part that overwhelms me.
      I hate it. I hate having to confront people about their mistakes
      and then have to be here while they fix it...
      it's uncomfortable.
      I just want this to be OVER.

I read an article written about the tornado and recovery, and someone said they weren't prepared for how long this was going to take, or the lack of privacy.  And I was like, YES... that's it.  It's the lack of privacy that just wears you down.  I'm so tired of having to worry about which guys are coming over and when, and feeling observed all the time.  It takes it's toll.

#3  I made 72 cupcakes
      for my mother's surprise b'day party this weekend.
      I made Italian Meringue Buttercream,
      which requires boiling sugar until a precise temperature
      and then slowly streaming it into a beater (while it's on)...
      holy potential skin burns, people!
      I had to keep yelling at Baby to stay AWAY.
      It was the finest icing I've ever made.  I might never go back.

The surprise went off without a hitch.  Interestingly, my mother claims that it's because I'm such a terrible secret keeper (in her opinion) that she really didn't expect anything.  I find this to be one of the strangest beliefs she holds (steadfastly, too) about me.  I was actually paid to be a professional secret keeper (therapist) and am nearly a criminally good liar (best/worst trait?... you decide)... which relies on the ability to keep things under wraps.  And you can't break me.  I should've been an actress.  Anyway, I always think this is a confounding perception.  I don't know if this all stems from the one time I told my brother what he was getting for a present (I was 5-ish?) or if it's because I happily gossip (it's a bonding mechanism) but there is a big difference between that and not keeping a secret.  A secret is a different thing.  I'm a pretty open book regarding my own life... but how would you know what I'm not telling?  Plenty, I assure you. If something is seriously a secret, or is asked to remain as such, it does.  Period.  I lived a whole young life that required a fair amount of covering up in order to fit in, and cover I did.  Hence the being good at both lying and secret keeping.  But whatever.  I don't know why this bothers me... I guess I find it infantilizing.

Mental note: bring this up in therapy this week!

#4  I think we're going to paint the house a dark moss green,
      hopefully that will play off the yellow/tan 60s brick
      in a way that says...
     "Hey, I meant to do that!"  instead of
     "For shame, for shame... look away from that brick."
      You know what I mean.
      The weird pinkish aluminum siding with turquoise trim,
      yellow/tan brick...
      and wait for it....
      hunter green accents...
      was like a quadruple threat of horrible color combinations,
      we're hoping to kind of reverse that now that we have the chance.

#5  I really want summer to be relaxing... but with Safety Town (believe it!), VBS (believe it!) at their new school, and swimming lessons, I'm already feeling nearly as booked as before.

#6 Not missing the TV.  I think I've successfully detoxed. I've been able to watch whatever necessary season finales online, anyway. The only downside is that I don't have anything hooked up to make the treadmill a bearable choice... and Lord knows I need to get back on it... STAT.  On the plus side I've read many o' book in the last couple of weeks including a biography of Eustace Conway... holy crap... how did I not know about this guy?

#7 I'm nervous/excited about this coming Fall.  School starts for the girls in August, and that will be the first time I've ever been childless in 10 straight years (that sounds longer than it feels... I promise) That's a huge change, and I'm really going to miss all of the easy quality time I get to have with them.  (I'm not going to miss all of the difficult times I have with Baby... just sayin')  But I'm also pretty excited that I'll be able to make myself a priority without feeling guilty that I'm taking away from someone/thing else.  One of the hardest things for me, in recent years, has been finding a time to workout that works for me and the family, now I'll be able to workout while Baby is at AM kindergarten. The very notion feels somewhat luxurious.  I have no concept of what it will be like to have a couple of hours to myself everyday.
Weird.
Maybe I'll get some more kids in this house.

Off to go work on our budget.... always good times.