going dead in the eyes and whimpering "I don't want more moles"
Oh, gee, thanks. I'm glad I'm a human monster.
Or that very memorable time when Kid remarked on my outfit:
"You could be like 4 months pregnant in the 80s and no one would even know."
"Are you saying I look pregnant?" I replied self consciously.
"No, I'm saying you could be pregnant and no one would be able to tell." Kid explained.
"It's a compliment." She clarified.
"I'm not sure it is." I muttered through my dry silent tears....
You see the pattern here right?
Well, the other night Kid blurted out,
"I HATE Roman noses."
And, since the well had been primed, I took great offense.
Kid was baffled.
"You don't have a Roman nose!"
And she was so emphatically sincere that I kind of believed she wasn't just digging herself out of hole.
"I mean, you know... the flat noses." and she gestured at a chopped off nose.
"Oh! Those aren't Roman noses." I said laughing.
"Those noses are just broken off of the statues." I explained.
We laughed hysterically for a good five minutes.
"Oh, good! I was always afraid of going to Rome!" Kid admitted.