going dead in the eyes and whimpering "I don't want more moles"
Oh, gee, thanks. I'm glad I'm a human monster.
Or that very memorable time when Kid remarked on my outfit:
"You could be like 4 months pregnant in the 80s and no one would even know."
"Are you saying I look pregnant?" I replied self consciously.
"No, I'm saying you could be pregnant and no one would be able to tell." Kid explained.
"It's a compliment." She clarified.
"I'm not sure it is." I muttered through my dry silent tears....
You see the pattern here right?
Well, the other night Kid blurted out,
"I HATE Roman noses."
And, since the well had been primed, I took great offense.
Kid was baffled.
"You don't have a Roman nose!"
And she was so emphatically sincere that I kind of believed she wasn't just digging herself out of hole.
"I mean, you know... the flat noses." and she gestured at a chopped off nose.
"Oh! Those aren't Roman noses." I said laughing.
"Those noses are just broken off of the statues." I explained.
We laughed hysterically for a good five minutes.
"Oh, good! I was always afraid of going to Rome!" Kid admitted.
6 comments:
I want to see that outfit that Kid commented on…did she mean "80s" like the decade? She cracks me up.
Yup, got to say that my boys do not pay much attention to my looks or outfits. Although when Murphy was little, he insisted I wear my hair down and not in a ponytail. He would pull the band out of my hair.
And he did recently say something to the effect of that I'm not the fattest mom he knows. So there is that.
I don't think Jack would even notice if I shaved my head.
Yes, were you wearing some 80s fashion that obscured your waistline in some way? If so, I need to get myself a few versions of that ensemble. I mean, if there's some outfit that could disguise a pregnancy, and therefore also disguise my mid-life waistline, then sign me up regardless of decade!
Kevin constantly takes notice of and always compliments me on my appearance. Which sounds great in theory, but in reality is often pointing out things I'd rather not highlight, like, "Mommy, your plump belly is so cute". This could be an innocently cute comment from a little one, perhaps, but come on, he's 15! Word to the wise kid, don't try that one on the ladies... And then I get to inject a lesson on social skills. However, I do have to say, some days when he just tells me I'm pretty, that unconditional love from him is pretty awesome.
Glad to know Kid can re-map her world travel plans to include Rome. That's funny!
"Mommy, your plump belly is so cute".
Brenda, lol.
I returned it, ladies!!!! It wasn't particularly 80s style... she doesn't even know what she means... except that if it looks like something you need to categorize as from another era's pregnancy wear... I'm not wearing it. It was just a flowy shirt from Target.
Yes, I get lots of tummy rubs and "I like your tummy!" comments. They are genuine but do make me dead inside...
I still can't believe she thought Italians were walking around with strange zombie noses! That would be frightening.
You didn't have boys because 1 - they would compare you to Pete from Mickey Mouse's playhouse (just ask pre-Insanity work out Smitty!) or 2 - ask you if you have a baby in your belly and when you reply indignantly that you don't, they will follow you around the house asking if you could and wouldn't it be cool? All the while you are thinking "I have enough boys already!!!"
Mrs. Smitty,
"they would compare you to Pete from Mickey Mouse's playhouse "
LOL
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