Not So Quiet Desperation

I'm stuck and hurting and alone.

I've never felt more alone in my life... than I do now... here.

It's hard to even verbalize the deep pit I feel... the entrapment... the fear that I might not get out.

The loneliness.

The wrongness.

This year has been a hard, trying, learning experience.

And I'm grateful for it. Really, I am. It's changed me and my perspective, and my priorities... and my marriage.

and while part of me feels stronger... like I've been prepared for a battle... the other part is lame, and sore, and maybe lost.

The part that is about me.

Not the part about being a good wife or a caring mother.

The part that is just about me.