What's Gonna Work?... Team Work!

The kids are working together in a tag team fashion to take break me. I woke up this morning ... well I guess I woke up several fucking times last night ... then I was woken up this morning by Kid crying hysterically. I guess when she looked over and saw Baby and I missing she freaked out. It turns out I had decided to sleep on the goddamn floor in an effort to save my back... and Baby was with me since she woke up crying hysterically shortly after I disappeared to the carpeted nether regions.

Well Kid's wake up came at 6. I know some of you out there are thinking "6?!! We got up at 5 every day!" Yeah well we don't. And the kids apparently got a hit of crack mixed in with the Sander's bump cake they had before bed. They should have been tired at 8:30 (their usual bedtime) since they had gotten up early yesterday too... but Baby was just romping around the bed growling like a rabid gorilla... which made it understandably difficult for Kid to fall asleep. After about 45 minutes I threw in the towel and let them get back up. An hour and half of gymnastics later (hmm... seems all the visiting might be a bit over stimulating) I got them back down. So do the math on that one and you'll find they went down close to 11.

A little while later I settled in on the floor. I probably had about an hour of sleep before Baby startled awake crying and then joined me. She then woke up a handful of times more before Kid woke me up at 6. So, yeah, I don't think I ever even had a full hours sleep at a stretch. I did get Kid back to sleep for another 2 hours after some snuggling.

At 8 she woke me up by saying, at top volume, "Mom can we get up?!"

"SHHHHH!!!!! Go To The Bathroom & Go Up Stairs!!!" I whispered in my stern whisper yelling that motherhood has bestowed upon me.

Kid walked to the bathroom (it's in our room) and turned on the light flooding our floor bed in unwanted luminescence. She went to the bathroom then strolled over to the bed and continued at top volume "Can you get me some new underwear?!"

I appreciate that Kid has adopted a new modesty (you may recall it was mere weeks ago that she was quite comfortable flashing the missionaries) but get the fuck out of the goddamn room before you wake up your sister!!!!!! (Don't worry I said all that in my head while burning a hole in hers with my death rays) When I denied her request Kid then threw herself wailing on the floor then after I actually whisper yelled "GET OUT!" She left.

One minute later she returned and walked up to the bed and said at top volume "The big dog loves to follow me!" Great. Leave. I think you know this isn't going to play out in any extra sleep for me at this point but I'm not going to just give in to her at this point either. "Go upstairs!" I whisper.

And she does... not. She lingers just out of sight rustling something and making me want to explode. Of course my entire body aches and my neck feels like it was bashed with a bat all night long so it is hard for me to lift it up high enough to scan for her... plus I'm still trying to keep Baby asleep. "Ruby!" I whisper. She shows up and I beg her "PLEASE I NEED TO SLEEP! Go upstairs!!!"

Two minutes later I slither out of bed and turn the monitor on. I stumble up the stairs and join Kid for Mickey's Clubhouse. Baby woke up 15 minutes later. My day has officially begun. I've had 10 minutes of sleep. They've had 9 hours opposed to their typical 12... so... today should go well.


Wish me luck.


And send the coffee fairy.