Monday, November 24, 2008

What's Gonna Work?... Team Work!

The kids are working together in a tag team fashion to take break me. I woke up this morning ... well I guess I woke up several fucking times last night ... then I was woken up this morning by Kid crying hysterically. I guess when she looked over and saw Baby and I missing she freaked out. It turns out I had decided to sleep on the goddamn floor in an effort to save my back... and Baby was with me since she woke up crying hysterically shortly after I disappeared to the carpeted nether regions.

Well Kid's wake up came at 6. I know some of you out there are thinking "6?!! We got up at 5 every day!" Yeah well we don't. And the kids apparently got a hit of crack mixed in with the Sander's bump cake they had before bed. They should have been tired at 8:30 (their usual bedtime) since they had gotten up early yesterday too... but Baby was just romping around the bed growling like a rabid gorilla... which made it understandably difficult for Kid to fall asleep. After about 45 minutes I threw in the towel and let them get back up. An hour and half of gymnastics later (hmm... seems all the visiting might be a bit over stimulating) I got them back down. So do the math on that one and you'll find they went down close to 11.

A little while later I settled in on the floor. I probably had about an hour of sleep before Baby startled awake crying and then joined me. She then woke up a handful of times more before Kid woke me up at 6. So, yeah, I don't think I ever even had a full hours sleep at a stretch. I did get Kid back to sleep for another 2 hours after some snuggling.

At 8 she woke me up by saying, at top volume, "Mom can we get up?!"

"SHHHHH!!!!! Go To The Bathroom & Go Up Stairs!!!" I whispered in my stern whisper yelling that motherhood has bestowed upon me.

Kid walked to the bathroom (it's in our room) and turned on the light flooding our floor bed in unwanted luminescence. She went to the bathroom then strolled over to the bed and continued at top volume "Can you get me some new underwear?!"

I appreciate that Kid has adopted a new modesty (you may recall it was mere weeks ago that she was quite comfortable flashing the missionaries) but get the fuck out of the goddamn room before you wake up your sister!!!!!! (Don't worry I said all that in my head while burning a hole in hers with my death rays) When I denied her request Kid then threw herself wailing on the floor then after I actually whisper yelled "GET OUT!" She left.

One minute later she returned and walked up to the bed and said at top volume "The big dog loves to follow me!" Great. Leave. I think you know this isn't going to play out in any extra sleep for me at this point but I'm not going to just give in to her at this point either. "Go upstairs!" I whisper.

And she does... not. She lingers just out of sight rustling something and making me want to explode. Of course my entire body aches and my neck feels like it was bashed with a bat all night long so it is hard for me to lift it up high enough to scan for her... plus I'm still trying to keep Baby asleep. "Ruby!" I whisper. She shows up and I beg her "PLEASE I NEED TO SLEEP! Go upstairs!!!"

Two minutes later I slither out of bed and turn the monitor on. I stumble up the stairs and join Kid for Mickey's Clubhouse. Baby woke up 15 minutes later. My day has officially begun. I've had 10 minutes of sleep. They've had 9 hours opposed to their typical 12... so... today should go well.

Wish me luck.

And send the coffee fairy.


Me, Myself and I said...

Oh man. I HATE those days. Send them out with someone after lunch and grab yourself a nap. You deserve it!

Robin said...

Man, that sucks! The thing that would send me over the edge? No coffee!?!?!

Mrs Furious said...

I'm on my 2nd cup of tea.. and... it is just not the same!

Me, Myself and I,
I HATE these days too ;)

Jennifer said...

Oh shit.

You know, the sweet Hallmark cards, holiday commercials, diaper commercials .. NEVER show this happening to parents. NEVER. They show sweet families making rice krispy treats and cute babies biting their own toes while changing their diapers, they show kids laughing and playing with other kids ... it is all a big fat giant lie ..

They are trying to lure you in to have children of your own. It is a sick conspiracy to keep the population growing so you have to buy their crap!

Sorry Mrs. F. Lock them in the closet and go get some coffee. lol.

katieo said...

Oh I'm sorry. Hope the those little Wonderpets give you a break today.

That was SO me Wednesday night. I hope your day goes better than mine went.

Vanessa said...

Wow, good luck! Hope you get a break today.

Gigs said...

The whole Kid-not-getting-that-she's-supposed-to-be-quiet-while-you-shoot-daggers-from-your-eyes... the biggest offender of that one was always my HUSBAND. And my 12 yo still does it when we're negotiating something he may be able to do that his younger brother will not. Does no one know how to whisper? Or look at a situation and instinctively understand the appropriate response/voice level? Alas, this is a skill apparently only given to mothers... Sorry you're not getting you Z's. I know it's totally draining... Can you get someone to watch them for an hour and sneak a rest?

Anonymous said...

That is exactly what happens when we visit my parents house without Eric. I end up on the floor, G wakes up the little one and it is miserable. Hope you can somehow sleep. I feel your pain.

julie said...

Oh dear God, NO COFFEE.

That's just wrong.

Elizabeth said...

ohmigod, i forgot. Mame only drinks the tea. Supposedly it has the same ammount of caffine? Can no one sit on the monsters while you take a nap?

Kiki said... need back up stat!!! Tea is definitely not the same, but Coke (the soda) will do in a pinch for me, or Dew of the Mountain!!! I miss you miss sleep. Hope you get some soon!!!

Elizabeth said...

Yes! Is there no Tab in the house? I don't remember a time when there wasn't some of your mom's Tab under the counter somewhere!

Haley said...

No coffee? NO COFFEE????


Phew. Sorry.

I don't even have wee ones and that messes me up.

Sending you caffeinated vibes.

Mrs Furious said...

Okay ladies... thanks for all the comments and positive vibes.
I just got back from today's round trip to Ann Arbor... phew... I do not miss the winter nighttime road conditions!!!!

I'm drugging Baby...

Renee said...

What the hell-NO COFFEE?!?! I can take a lot but that is just not ok...that's my drug that gets me through the day...I had to get up at 7am w/ the kids to drive husband to Boone (4 hour round trip for less than 2 hours worth of work) and to top it off, husband had already filled up his travel mug w/ the rest of the coffee so I got none..wasn't that so thoughtful of him?!?! Needless to say it was not a good day so I TOTALLY feel your pain and wish I could arrange for the starbucks fairy to arrive at your door each morning while you are there!!!!!

Mrs Furious said...

Ah men ;)

The problem is that right now I'm the only one who drinks coffee in the house. Added to that is that Baby won't let me leave her. I should have gotten it when I went to the grocery store... but I thought I'd have to time to go to another store and get it... that was 3 days ago!

It is my TOP priority tomorrow!

wootini said...

The floor???! No coffee? Restless non-sleeping children?

I'm exhausted just reading about it... egads!

Heather said...

I sincerely hope last night was better, and that you got some goddamn coffee. What I wouldn't give for a giant iced latte. Or just iced coffee. Damn colic.

artsci said...

My unnatural need for a morning cup of coffee is why I travel like an old lady - with a couple of coffee bags and a Splenda in my purse just in case.

Mrs Furious said...

I've never thought of doing that... I'm on it!!

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