Happy Anniversary Honey!

And by now I'm sure you all know that I would not EVER really say that.

I have NEVER intentionally called Mr F "honey".

Yes, it has slipped out a handful of times in the last decade or so.

But it was an accident EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Just something that came out when I was in the panic of trying to give out an imperative instruction or something.

And I promise you it shocked the hell out of both of us each time.

And I very well my have vomited in my mouth a little too.

To put it in perspective I've accidentally called Mr F "Mom" more times.

And that only happens when we're fighting (Oh, Freud!).

No, our relationship is founded on the principle of humor first.

Profanity second.

And let's face it... it's pretty funny to nonchalantly mix as much unexpected profanity and insult into your endearments.

And that's why when Mr F gets home from work I don't say

"Hi Honey, how was your day?"

I say

"Oh. Hey Asshole." In as deadpan of a delivery as one can muster while draining spaghetti.

It makes us laugh every single time.

Except for the few times when I meant it...

It turns out without the implied irony it is just awkward.

Let's hope tonight is not one of those nights (aka BE ON TIME FOR THE SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE YOU JACKASS... 4:30 PROMPT)

Oh, and, Happy Anniversary.

Maybe next year we'll actually remember in time to get cards and gifts on our anniversary... and not just sometime in the year of our anniversary?

Or not get cards on time but forget to give them and just leave them in a bag on the top of our fridge until they are found when we're packing up to move?

Remember when we thought we'd go back HERE for our 10th anniversary?

It doesn't look like that is going to happen.

But who knew then that going to Ikea on "Ribs Night" would prove to be just as exciting?

P.S. "Ribs Night" is tonight. And I do have some returns to make. Let's take the kids. It'll be super romantic.

P.P.S I should clarify that it is actually our 9 year anniversary. It just feels like 10. thousand.