#2 I am suffering from violent hiccups. Do you remember when there was that teenage girl that had hiccups for like 2 straight weeks (was it longer?!) and it made the national news? Well, that terrified me. Now, whenever I have hiccups I get a little stressed that they really might not ever go away.
#3 On a related note: when I was first dating Mr F... (oooh, the intrigue)... I had a bad case of hiccups. For some bizarre and unknown reason Mr F became really pissed and told me to stop "milking it!". I was like "What?!!!". I mean, who milks hiccups?? Who is going to prolong diaphragm spasms... on purpose? Is this something someone can even physically do? So, I was all..."Thanks for the sympathy... sorry to annoy YOU." This rather bizarre and rude response to my discomfort has thankfully proven to be a deep comedic well that I return to, again and again. There is not a time that Mr F has hiccups that I don't shout out "Stop Milking It!!" (For the record, I think he feels deep shame about the incident)
#4 I watched Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead which made think... I should get a juicer. But then I thought.... "You always think you should do something super extreme... why is this different?" And that stumped me. Because, of course, it's not. And I had recently promised myself to be more food normal and stick with what I know works for me... which is not doing extreme diets!! Micro nutrients are good, no doubt. But can't I just eat the food? Do I have to juice it??... if I'm not doing a cleanse. Because I am SO not doing a cleanse. Me and my blood sugar don't cleanse. We morph into the angriest drunk man you ever saw. It isn't worth it. (But, maybe I'm still thinking about it...)
#5 I would really like to live in a luxury hotel room made out of concrete:
I never thought I'd say that, but it is 100% true.
Yes, Baby is crying...
she just found out we had to leave her bouquets behind
It was quite the mourning process.
#6 I styled the girls' hair for my brother's wedding:
I think I should go pro. Did I ever tell you that I've always wanted to be a hair stylist?
Or a private detective? Or a bank teller? Or a bakery counter person? Or a mailman?
Or a flight attendant? Or a dance instructor? Or an accountant?
When did this list cross over into weird?
After bank teller??
I still want all the jobs I thought were awesome when I was a kid.
I have also always been smitten with jobs that require a uniform (I am what I am).
Ok, I think that's enough weird for one night.
See you tomorrow.
