Kind Of Wanting To Kill Myself

I was kind of keeping hush hush the fact that there was a job opening at the magazine here in Traverse City. This is a job opportunity that we had been keeping our eye on for EIGHT years. It never opened. We've always wanted to move up here but there is literally only one job opportunity that would allow us to make that move. This one.

A couple weeks ago, right before I left town, Mr F let out a gasp as he was doing his usual job search (always a good idea to keep our options open). After YEARS this coveted position had finally opened up. Even better? He was coming out here to visit us anyway and getting to an interview would be easy peasy.

Meant to be? Yeah that's what I thought.

As much as I am getting settled in Asheville it is not where I want to live. And, honestly, with our current cost of living it is always going to be a bit of a struggle.

You know where's a really cheap place to move to in this economic crisis? The place with the most tanked housing market?

Yep. Michigan.

Yada yada yada... I could tell you how much I'd like to live here. I could go on and on. Just imagine that place you always fantasize about living at... that's Traverse City for me.

Well yesterday Mr F called to tell me that he spoke with the editor in Traverse City... and... the job had been filled.... yester-freaking-day!

So today when I drove into the city it was no longer a drive filled with hope and promise. But instead a drive filled with agony and well... a bit... of heart break. Everything seemed perfect. And better. And CLEANER. And well planned and carried out. The donuts were... well... donut-ier. Seriously. As Kid said "You forget how delicious they are until you are eating them, and then you remember all the times you had them." Indeed. Michigan cider donuts just are better than any other donut. Period. The strawberries I got at the stand were better than any other strawberries I'd ever had. They were like jam. They were ridiculous and we ate them under a perfectly blue sky dotted with white clouds, the tall ship sailing around the Bay in front of us. And I kind of wanted to cry.

As hard as moving is and as much as I would hate the actual process...

We could have had a house ON THE ACTUAL WATER for less than our house in Asheville.

Okay not a lot less. But still... less. By like $5...it still counts. It was still a glorious dream.

Oh well... back to Assville at the end of the month.

Damn it.